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| Purrverse |
*** If you're easily offended- well, deal. 
***
Ok, maybe it's cause I've lived in Massachusetts, and then moved to the land of the PC, San Francisco, that I have such a strong feeling about this subject. The subject of "bad taste" and "offensiveness", who decides where the lines are, and why we're so eager to avoid offending anyone.
Amusingly, while looking around on the net for other people's views on this, I found out that "being offended" is #101 on "Stuff White People Like"! They say:
"As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people.... White people also get excited at the opportunity to be offended at things that are sexist and/or homophobic. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops." (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/28/101-b...
In light of the current discussion, this cracked me up. Mainly because it seems so, so true. Most of these discussions are between people who are not the victimized parties trying to defend those who are... who, well, don't tend to care.
For example- I was raped. It was pretty much a big deal in my life and it took a long time to get over the trauma. HOWEVER, that definitely didn't lead me to not find rape fantasies sexy, and very definitely not to tell other people they couldn't engage in rape fantasies or even talk about them around me because it was offensive. However, I noticed other people liked to try to pad me in down and protect me from this supposedly "offensive" behaviour. Well, gee, that protection seems a bit late to me!
A lot of what I enjoy in bed is potentially offensive to the thought police. Incest. Ageplay. Uniforms. Religion. (and can I just say, Nazis have NOTHING on Christianity? but people can dress like Jesus or the Pope and everyone finds it funny. Interesting.) Making my human puppy wear a doggie dildo. Tying up my Birk-wearing, hairy armpitted girlfriend and telling her that I'm going to fuck her with the tool of the patriarchy. Or unprotected sex for procreation, which I think is probably the kinkiest of the bunch.
Why do these offensive things turn me on? Probably because they're offensive, and therefore wrong, and therefore wrong if you know what I mean, and I bet you do, you pervert. Same reason I get off on smut about all sorts of fucked up stuff. Amazingly, I'm able to remember it's FANTASY. Maybe, for me, I like playing with the dark and with edgy stuff because I enjoy exploring the dark corners of my own head- I like exploring why that turns me on, why that seems like too far, and is it really too far or just cultural pressure to find it too far...
So then, why do I say that being offended is a personal problem, particularly in a fetish club setting? Well, if I see something I'm offended by that has nothing actively to do with me, like an outfit, I sit with myself and think about why that offends me. Am I taking it personally? Probably. Was it meant personally? Probably not. Does it offend me on personal grounds of cultural grounds? What about it specifically offends me vs other similar things? By seeking to understand where the root of that instant reaction comes from, I diffuse it. And generally, later, I enjoy playing with it myself.
I think it's entirely possible to do all that, and that working yourself up and declaring loudly how terribly offensive it is is actually MORE offensive, because someone's quietly wearing an outfit or doing a roleplay they enjoy and you're making a giant fuss about it. If you're that tender and that easily offended, my god, how do you ever leave the house?
Don't get me wrong. I get self-righteously angry on other people's behalf all the time, generally when confronted with the institutionalized racism and classism that's all around us every day. What's offensive is that people do these things completely unaware. They do it because their culture does, or their friends do, or their family. That lack of consciousness will forever be more offensive than playing with stereotypes. Anyone who tries to tell me that a fetishist wearing a Nazi uniform at a play party is more offensive than a bus driver slamming a door in an Asian guy's face because he didn't understand what the driver was saying really needs to check out their priorities. Save your venom for situations that actually deserve it.
Let the flame war begin!
Edited Tue 17 Feb 09, 6:22 PM by Purrverse
| 17 Feb 09, 7:07 PM newfavourite UK(S), 4 yrs  |
The nazi uniform debate made me think of when Prince Harry
went to a fancy dress party dressed as a nazi. You see,
that did piss me off. But maybe that is because I find
the royal family offensive in general. When it comes to
what people wear at fetish clubs, I really couldn't
care. Good blog! 'Pervert'? She can't even spell it! | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:10 PM Hedwig UK(E), 4 yrs |
I think I just fell in love with you. Great post! moreinches.wordpress.com | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:17 PM Madame_Jude UK(ME), 4 yrs |
I feel sorry for people who are easily offended. They are missing out on so much. Many fetishes are based on a taboo or at least soemthing that is frequently frowned upon by a large portion of 'normal society', you're right on that count. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow – anon Edited 17 Feb 09, 7:18 PM by Madame_Jude | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:17 PM Swiper 5 yrs |
In a way I can relate but specifically with the government that says that English people shouldn't fly the St. George flag in case it offends the welsh. 'In case' is obviously propaganda to hide some sort of misguided projection of guilt due to historical events that no one can do anything about. I'm welsh and I'm not offended by the English flag at all but I am offended to almost violent levels when some absent-minded gits take it upon themselves to feel offence or guilt etc on my behalf for the purpose of socialist propaganda. | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:21 PM newfavourite UK(S), 4 yrs |
Yeah that socialist propaganda really is a bind, isn't it? I can't see for red flags these days. What this country needs is a Tory Government.... OH. 'Pervert'? She can't even spell it! | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:26 PM Swiper 5 yrs |
Oh dear. Do I have to go to the trouble of explaining my comment? Or should I leave it up to you to re-read and finally understand it? | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:33 PM newfavourite UK(S), 4 yrs |
I suggest you explain it! Yours, offended of South Yorkshire (ex socialist republic now just a bit saggy at the seams) 'Pervert'? She can't even spell it! | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:33 PM newfavourite UK(S), 4 yrs |
I suggest you explain it! Yours, offended of South Yorkshire (ex socialist republic now just a bit saggy at the seams) 'Pervert'? She can't even spell it! | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 7:38 PM Swiper 5 yrs |
Feeling offended on my or any other welsh person's behalf does nothing for relationships between the English and Welsh. To do so is propaganda, currently instigated by the Labour party. Why you felt the need to get the tories involved I don't know considering there are other parties and other political ideologies across the board to choose from. | ||||
| 17 Feb 09, 8:34 PM Purrverse US, 7 yrs |
Wow, 5 comments til the flames began? I need to try harder. "I can't tell if you're playing some kind of feminazi mind fuck game on me or if you're trying to seduce me." -Sex and Death 101 |
