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Posted by ThedaVamp on Sat 14 Feb 09, 9:41 PM to ThedaVamp's blog.
Looking back over past Valentine's, I've decided to highlight some of the more delightful moments, possibly as far away as you can get from Hallmark.
16 years old - walked into my form room to discover an inflated plastic heart on my chair. I didn't like anyone in my form class and they hated the weird studious goth girl in kinky boots. No one came forward and the rumour spread that I'd sent it to myself. Not good.
18 years old - a boyfriend bought me a bottle of perfume because according to him it would make me smell just like his ex. Worse.
20 years old - at university, in halls. Dressed to the nines, cooked the perfect meal, fetched my love's favourite ice cream, beer, bought flowers and waited...and waited. He called to say he'd be late. He called again. He called again. At 2am, he turns up knackered and hands me a birthday card with a cartoon of two butch drag queens on it at the starting line of a race (Drag Racing), the words 'Happy Birthday' scribbled out and 'Happy Valentines' scribbled in. A two year relationship ended that night, which took another 2 years to get over each other and another 7 before we spoke to each other. Fucking horrible.
26 years old - 4 months after breaking up with cheating scumbag husband, go on a bender with a friend. Bottle of vodka later, I decide to call my ex's girlfriend's boyfriend to tell him exactly where his girlfriend is this evening and that he's been cheated on for 6 months. All dignitas gone and a stinking hangover.
Last year - a text saying "Happy Valentine's Sexy! I have something to give you when I see you...It's big...it's red...it's throbbing...but it's not my heart!".
Romance is well and truly dead. These are the awards for best Tragi-Comedy Value Valentine and they go to the above.
Thank you god for my being single...
Anyone else got some goodies? LOL
14th Feb 2009
Seven years single and I now have a significant other.
Whom, after meeting me briefly last night,clutching a bouquet of flowers, I went for a cocktail or two with and a snog or five.
They've spent the WHOLE of today in an interview with people who like to spend Valentines Day and Valentines evening with work colleagues and interviewees, then have dinner with them instead of their partners...
I thought it would be nice to be a girly girl for once - you know - actually celebrate the day with someone meaningful; get romanced, pampered etc etc.
Be careful what you wish for with the Monkey's Paw. I wanted to be girly for one night and the wish came true - having had a bubbly bath on my own, now sitting with my cats and pouting.
| 14 Feb 09, 9:51 PM JudyInDsGuise UK(E), 9 yrs |
My ex-husband bought me some artificial roses outside the pub on the way home on our first Valentine's as a married couple. He never bought anything on the following years, because "those roses still look nice". Some people are just born to be exes ::shrugs:: judy
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| 14 Feb 09, 9:59 PM kitten_soft 3 yrs  |
I got married valentines day ...it was the worse gift ever!! | |
| 15 Feb 09, 12:29 AM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs  |
You made me smile, thank you 
If I were a one for the laydeez, you'd be on my Valentine's wish list | |
| 15 Feb 09, 3:27 AM HisHoliness UK(KT), 6 yrs |
And the flowers that have that distinct, petroly, forecourt, smell And the 7p ASDA Value Valentine's card - brilliant. If sending that, you HAVE to leave the price sticker on. This communication was brought to you from the desk of the Pontiff Elect, the benchmark by which purity, holiness & normality are measured.
Bless you. | |
| 15 Feb 09, 1:03 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Awww *blush* Please check your irony levels before attempting to respond to the majority of my posts. |
