Posted by juliettex on Fri 13 Feb 09, 10:15 AM to juliettex's blog.
Me again, flogging my blog! Here's yet another excerpt - and if anything doesn't make sense out of context, all will be revealed at
www.thenewadventuresofjuliette.blogspot.com
Having written about all my fictional dream Doms in books and the movies, I find myself musing on the subject of successful ruthless uber-alpha Doms and Dommes. The envy, sexual obsession and/or terror of everyone in their particular world. Staple of Harmony's infuriating shrink-wrapped unlucky dip of an 'adult fiction' section.
In Fantasy Land, there's always going to be some all-powerful ruthless glamorous aspirational alpha type doing the Domming - because you know, that's kind of the point.
But a funny thing I've noticed - in practise, there's not much of an overlap between 'powerful glamorous alpha male types' and 'men into BDSM'. Very very very very little. In fact, IMHO, there's probably more overlap between 'powerful glamorous alpha male types' and 'Terry Pratchett fans.'
Or between 'Terry Pratchett fans' and 'left-handed men with red hair.'
Were my fictional book-and-movie heroes (see Heroes and Villains posts) real people, probably only a few of them would have gravitated to BDSM. Mr Jaggers, Tony Baddingham and Frollo - perhaps, if only in aspiration or fantasy.
But as for Rupert Campbell-Black, Heathcliff, Crassus, Gekko, Vidal, Goeth, Vosen - they'd almost certainly have never even thought of it. They would be oblivious to their inherent Domliness in the same way fish are oblivious to water. You can rest assured that none of these men would so much as own a pair of handcuffs. And they wouldn't know a violet wand in the unlikely event that one bit them on the arse.
In my personal experience of the real-life fantasy-Dom type (a la Peter the Great) , they're not averse to a spot of tying or spanking, in a spirit of experimentation. But it's definitely an occasional why-not, rather than any kind of need or inherent sexual orientation. Left to their own devices - and, crucially, without any pushing from the woman in their life - they're happy with the more-or-less simple things in life... 'a loaf of bread, a glass of wine and thou,' so to speak.
(Assuming, of course, that the 'thou' in question has the body of a Playboy centrefold, is wearing Agent Provocateur lingerie, is in the process of giving them a very good blow job and is open to the prospect of anal.)
And the day the genuinely Dom-tastic alpha type goes to any kind of fetish club in anything other than a let's-go-and-look-at-the-freak-show spirit - well, this will not just be the day Jodie Marsh tops the Vogue Best Dressed list. But the day she's closely followed on it by Jade Goody and Jackiey Budden.
Most of the fellows genuinely and overtly into such practices - well, again from experience, I'd say they fell into two very broad categories. The first being gentle wackos and 'alternative' types - Bizarre readers, if ever there were any. With a lot of body piercings. Or tattoos. Or both. And an encyclopedic knowledge of Tolkien. Or Anne Rice. Or both. And a penchant for long black leather coats. Or spiked leather collars. Or both. In short, the sort of person security guards follow round shopping malls.
The second category being the more alarming rage-against-the-world-especially-women, Serial Killers Before They Were Famous type. Men with disturbing sado-masochistic porn collections hidden somewhere in their far-too-neat or far-too-squalid, bottom-of-the-range rented bachelor pad. Either from a blue-collar petty criminal background, or a pitifully unsuccessful white-collar wuss. From my occasional lurking on sundry special-interest sites, I've encountered a few of these, and I can tell you that - if you have any interest in human psychology whatsoever - they're as scary as all fuck.
To summarise, if you're looking for the real 24/7 etiquette-driven master-slave BDSM deal - and you don't want a manky Goth or a poorer, uglier version of Ted Bundy - I have to say, you're probably out of luck. Never mind the powerful glamorous alpha male of Fantasyville. You'll be bloody lucky finding someone with a job that doesn't involve working in a fetish club or selling vampyre merchandise.
This is probably one of the very few great sexual truths that's equally true with the genders reversed. So were you, as a submissive man, to meet the glacially glamorous, five-inch-heeled, penthouse-dwelling bitch-princess of your wildest dreams - hate to piss on your parade, old buddy, but she's probably more vanilla than Sandy in Grease. Dollars to donuts, her big fantasy is getting ravished-but-not-really by George Clooney.
The one who will really relish the thought of your terrified, cringing helplessness will be the one you haven't even noticed.
Or even, sadly, the one you have noticed. Immediately.
With a thought like 'Urgh. if she was the last woman on earth, I'd shag a monkey.'
Personally, and why will you not be surprised by this, I think this is because it all spins off from childhood. Specifically, from those crucial age-10-16 sexually formative years. Again IMHO alone, genuine BDSM orientation spings from a deep hostility towards and/or fear of the opposite sex during this time - which the accepted, admired, good-looking boys and girls of this world don't have. Well, why on earth would they? By and large, you don't develop hostility or fear to something that's never shown you anything but sweetness and affection from your very earliest days (hence the relative absence of kittenphobia.)
BDSM is for freaks, people. Don't shoot the messenger.
*Dissenting voices more than welcome. Please mark your email 'I'm an Ex-Prom King and Own a Violet Wand'*
Word,
J x
