This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 7 Feb 09, 8:33 PM Amazon UK(LE), 8 yrs  |
I just do what I want when I want and I expect my sub to comply. I only have a couple of rules and I don't indulge in high protocol preferring to go with my impulsive personality. * Play may contain scenes of mild to moderate violence and occasional use of graphic language. | |
| 7 Feb 09, 9:26 PM ConsciousnessJunkie UK(N), 5 yrs  |
I've no interest in being trained, being made to perform rituals, present myself or behave in certain ways. I am my own person, who happens to enjoy dirty, kinky sex in the bedroom. And sometimes outside the bedroom. Not sure if that helps - but it certainly proves that not all of us go in for the stereotypical malarky. | |
| 7 Feb 09, 9:34 PM nice_but_sub UK(CH), 3 yrs |
I think so many of us love the visuals, and as you say just love the lack of blandness ... the aesthetics perhaps that are to some degree inseparable from the BDSM society and thereby obliged to state 'sub(be) or dom(me) as absolutes. Personally, and I am sure it applies to countless within this realm - in some relationships the chemistry works in a way that would render me arguably sub. others dom and at other times, vanilla. Yes there is the accepted term switch - but to declare oneself a switch is recognised and acknowledged by many to render oneself something of a pariah - which is remarkable. This community surely should be the least judgemental of peoples kinks - yet actually makes even greater value statements about the most benign and untwisted nuances within its own framework. Edited 7 Feb 09, 9:36 PM by nice_but_sub | |
| 10 Feb 09, 6:47 PM iamafls 6 yrs  |
Mistress and I discussed this topic today. As I am still learning both my position as her slave and how to better serve her, I asked for some rules to be put in place to help me. It's only now, reading this thread, that I'm realising that I am projecting my idea of what a D/s relationship is like and possibly have been struggling to behave appropriately because of that. I am happy to abide by whatever rules Mistress dictates, or if she'd rather have none and allow the situation and her mood to rule to suggest my behaviour then I accept that as well. Perhaps, as a sub, I was thinking that rules help me behave within set guidelines, whereas I should be learning more about my Mistress so I can anticipate her desires without falling back on a staid and rigid set of rules. I know Mistress improvises and I would hate to have that stifled because she has brought me a long way already. Not to say that rules are a bad thing of course, I guess, as others have said, it depends on the situation, the rules themselves and ultimately what pleases my Mistress. | |
| 10 Feb 09, 7:57 PM WykD_Dave UK(DE), 9 yrs |
I know a lot of people like rules and 'punishments'. I can only speak for myself here and I'd like people to take it that way, this is me personaly. Life happens free style. It requires everyone to adapt to it. What seems like a good idea today can turn out not to be so good or practical tomorrow, next week or next month. I can't honestly be having with rigid rules. Yes there are things I expect. Politness a good attitude etc. I am not into creating rules and 'punishing' because they have not been adhered to. I am in fact not into punishing at all. I don't want someone to do anything because they are afraid of something bad. I want submission because of respect and because I am hopefully worth it. Because it's right. Because it fits and fulfills both partners needs. If something 'wrong' is done I want to know why it happend rather than applying some formula of 'punishment'. Like I said at the beginning this is what I think. Many people think differently. In the end it's what works for you. There is no 'true way' there is no 'right way' there is only what works for the both of you and you can only find that out by working it out 'together'. Life happens free style. | |
| 10 Feb 09, 8:14 PM ExploringMistressK 3 yrs |
I agree with what a lot of people have said. We are still finding our own way, what works for us and what doesn't. As my fls said, he asked for some rules to be put in place and I was happy to do this. They're of a level of compliance which I am comfortable with, without being 'high protocol'. This combined with what I've decided is appropriate training, and reasons for punishment are used primarily for me to teach him what I believe respecting me entails. And for him to learn where he has pushed the boundaries too far. As others have said, it might not work for everyone, it might not work for us, or may only work for a certain amount of time but I am happy to find this out. At the moment it feels real and geared to us rather than 'role-play', and I hope the fls agrees.
Edited 10 Feb 09, 8:18 PM by ExploringMistressK | |
| 10 Feb 09, 9:12 PM iamafls 6 yrs |
As ever Mistress puts things far better than I could (it's one of many reasons why I adore her). I couldn't agree more with everything Mistress. The rules that Mistress has put in place definitely helps us keep things 'real' rather than just kink. Now all I have to do is make sure I follow them! |
