 |
| rosarose |
Over the last few days I've been thinking about 'chemistry', you know that elusive quality in a relationship that when it's there makes the stars twinkle.
I wish I could define it.
It was hard enough defining it in a 'nilla relationship...now I've discovered my kinky side there's another layer that needs to be taken into account.
It seems that 'chemistry' comes in many guises. You can be friends with someone and still have plenty of good chemistry together. I guess the elusive one is the sexual chemistry. Or is that really just another name for lust or fancying the pants off someone?
What about the D/s chemistry? Is that different from sexual chemistry? If the power exchange element isn't there can there still be sexual chemistry or are the two actually inextricably linked in a D/s relationship?
It's confusing the hell out of me.
Edited several times as I'm not typing straight today
Edited Tue 3 Feb 09, 12:27 PM by rosarose
| 3 Feb 09, 12:18 PM Marmite UK(CB), 5 yrs |
Chemistry has to work from both sides for it to be chemistry. If both sides don't make that special cocktail.. all it is is a flunked experiement.
Edited as Rosarose edited before I saw I still think you have to have it from both sides.. you have to feel a spark, which sadly isn't there for some. However much you try and try at it. M. x A rose by any other name has thorns that will still make you bleed. Edited 3 Feb 09, 2:45 PM by Marmite | |
| 3 Feb 09, 12:32 PM rosarose UK(SG), 3 yrs |
I've changed the post slightly so your reply probably won't make sense now! My guess is that if it's 'real' chemistry then both sides will feel it. If it isn't really there then however much you'd like it to be, thinking it is is just wishful and a bit wasteful!
| |
| 3 Feb 09, 1:46 PM lucyloo 3 yrs  |
I agree that both sides need to feel it. You can't define it or explain it, it's just... there. And you can't mistake it for anything else, it's unique. I love it. Sometimes i think you can't tell if it's there till you kiss. You think there's nothing, then the kiss.... Mmmmm You don't get to taste the honey without the sting of the bee. | |
| 3 Feb 09, 4:37 PM janusxuk UK(HP), 7 yrs |
Attraction starts with sexual chemistry, but this either flounders or is nutured into flourishing and becomes something more long lasting. This takes effort by both people though and doesn't happen of its own accord. The chemistry behind BDSM and power exchange can enhance the initial attraction. IMHO&E the BDSM chemistry can play a big part in developing the long term relationship from the initial attraction, as long as it is mutually beneficial for both. What do I know though, I'll do anything for a pie Come on 2009, bring it on! Janus_x_UK on Fetlife | |
| 3 Feb 09, 11:53 PM exoticarose UK(WD), 4 yrs |
Tart (Apple?) A diva a day keeps the boredom away | |
| 4 Feb 09, 7:06 PM penwiggle UK(CB), 5 yrs  |
If it is one sided, isn't that infatuation? Pen You say Ouch like it's a bad word. | |
| 4 Feb 09, 10:17 PM rosarose UK(SG), 3 yrs |
Infatuation....yes you're right! That's exactly what it is. Blimey, that'll be a mini-revelation you've just created for me! Thanks penwiggle x |
