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Posted by ThedaVamp on Sun 18 Jan 09, 3:54 PM to ThedaVamp's blog.
A difficult one.
One of my long term submissives needs cheering up and I know just what he needs, but how to achieve it is complex! Yet the urges it will fulfill are the most simple of desires.
My beautiful boy needs a domme for a night - someone to indulge his kinks and give him a mercy fuck in the nicest possible way - sex and kink in one and in a casual, sane, affectionate way? Surely not! But actually finding a woman who's actually open and honest about her liking of kinky casual carnal flings is the hard part.
We're supposed to be open-minded, non judgemental sorts, yet women on the 'scene' as it were are still confined by society's view that women who enjoy and actively seek casual sex are 'sluts' 'slags' and 'loose' rather than liberated, whether they be domme or sub and this attitude towards sex 'closets' women for fear of the labelling that endures. It's more acceptable for them to seek the kink, than it is for them to seek the sex.
Dommes must be seen to be either 'Professional' and by this I mean be paid for their attentions; looking for permanent submissives - 'collaring'; or even 'something meaningful' - leading to a relationship.
It's a rare thing to find a submissive or dominant woman who defies those approaches above and simply and openly seeks what she needs sexually, for when she needs it. Yet men seem more comfortable in announcing their intentions when seeking 'no-strings' and discussing their desires.
Having been open and honest with my playthings whilst single, I never pretended I was a 'shrinking violet'. I was a predator - I saw someone I liked, I hunted them, got them, enjoyed them, then moved on. A basic human need for sex was fulfilled and my basic need for kink was fulfilled without the complications of a relationship or commitment.
Never a bad thing in my eyes - I was happy, they were happy, but at the same time I was frequently made to feel that my behaviour was 'abnormal' for a woman.
And now I've set myself a task that's turned out more difficult than I initially envisaged - to find a woman I can trust to think about my submissive the way I do and take care of them the way I do - casually, kink-ily, affectionately, sanely, sexually and friendly, without a need for commitment. Just because such scenarios are casual doesn't mean that they are 'meaningless' or 'cold'. Beautiful bonds and connections can be made through 'casual' kink.
Waddaya think?
| 18 Jan 09, 3:58 PM Lee_Van_Spunkenfrick 3 yrs |
why would they want one of yours when there are probably hundreds lining up that they can choose from ? all for one and fuck the rest | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:02 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
References go a long way. Especially when they testify to sanity and cleanliness... Please check your irony levels before attempting to respond to the majority of my posts. | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:05 PM Lee_Van_Spunkenfrick 3 yrs |
lots of unnatached guys have people who can vouch for them ... perhaps dommes like to find their own playthings rather than borrow them ... all part of the fun .. the hunt all for one and fuck the rest | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:12 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Doesn't happen all that often though does it? The blog is also asking about people's opinions and experiences of women on the 'scene' who are still closeted because of society's judgemental view of women who seek no-strings kinky sex.
Please check your irony levels before attempting to respond to the majority of my posts. | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:26 PM MarcusStrapp UK(CB), 7 yrs  |
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The Fetish Photo Album A free and private flickr group for IC members to share dirty pictures! | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:27 PM Lee_Van_Spunkenfrick 3 yrs |
society is what it is ... perhaps it's just easier to keep a low profile and go quietly about ones business ... all for one and fuck the rest | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:30 PM SemiTrainedApe UK, 4 yrs |
I agree completely - great blog, and I can imagine the sense of an "arrangement" with a third party could add another horny layer to proceedings for everyone involved.
Although maybe you'd prefer feedback from Suitable Candidates! This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps. | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:32 PM MarcusStrapp UK(CB), 7 yrs |
Sometimes it is (better to go quietly), sometimes it isn't. Progress for the better only occurs when someone is prepared to stand up and make a stand, often at great personal cost. The Fetish Photo Album A free and private flickr group for IC members to share dirty pictures! | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:33 PM Lee_Van_Spunkenfrick 3 yrs |
its a lot of effort just for a shag though isn't it ... to put oneself in the line of fire just because you feel horny ! all for one and fuck the rest | ||
| 18 Jan 09, 4:35 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
It's a present for him and hopefully for whomever I would find! LOL He doesn't sleep around and I haven't been able see him that often over the last few months, so it would be an entertaining distraction! I would know my sub would be happy and fulfilled, and that in turn would make me happy and fulfilled, as well as providing an opportunity fo him to get all coy and blushing when I make him tell me about it afterwards!
Please check your irony levels before attempting to respond to the majority of my posts. |
