This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.
| Thu 15 Jan 09, 10:00 PM dominalush UK(RG), 5 yrs   |
Hi...Im marina aka Dominalush from Henley on thames,near Reading.I'm a pro Domme,specializing in flogging and cbt.My problem is that the clients I'm getting arent really what I want.I'm a sadist,I love to inflict pain,in a very sensual manner admittedly.Most guys who visit Me want tie and tease,a few strokes of the cane etc.My question is,how should I be wording My ads,what should I put on My website etc to attract My kind of clients.My website is www.thedivinedominalush.com if anyone has time to have a look and give Me constructive criticism. to give pain is my pleasure...... | |
| 15 Jan 09, 10:26 PM wendytv_42 UK(G), 6 yrs  |
Memo sent! | |
| 15 Jan 09, 11:42 PM Lexxxx 6 yrs |
Can't you have sub's right you an e mail or memo saying what they want or guidlines so if they say light spanking or what ever you don't want/like doing you can say sorry I'm not the one for you? Im a monkey spank me! | |
| 16 Jan 09, 8:47 AM alandra UK(BH), 6 yrs |
The problem is everybody has a different definition of HARD.
i pro sub (i do not advertise on here) and have had clients say they want to give a hard caning ect only to find them light when they get here and vice versa. to those that understand, no explaination is needed, to those that dont understand, no explaination is possible | |
| 16 Jan 09, 10:00 AM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
Hi Marina You already know me but I will give you the benefit of my ideas on the subject. I have been pro-domming now for eleven years and I know that much as I would have liked it, I have not always had exactly the kinds of subs that I most prefer. I have always taken the view that I am probably not 100% ideal for some of my subs either just the best for them of what is available within a reasonable distance,given their preferences. If you are constantly getting subs who are not hardcore enough for you then you must consider re-writing your site to make it more clear what you are looking for given your skills and attributes. There is a downside to being too specific and appearing to be limited in scope which is that you may put people off and some of those may not know or could be developed more to your particular style over time. That would be a sad loss of potential. As pro-dommes we obviously retain the right to see whoever we choose. I have often turned subs down as I do not think they will be suited to me. However, we are also trying to pay our bills and so need to find a compromise of whether you do fewer sessions but all are to your ideal or more and have to be a little easier on some as they are not into as much pain as you might like to inflict. Those who visit pro-dommes often cannot have marking on bottom and genitals which tends to mean we PDs must accept that we must play a little more lightly than we may with our own subs/partners/slaves. It is so easy to go just a bit too far and mark a poor chap so he has to hide his bottom or cock from a significant other and if he asked for no marking, he will be singularly unimpressed. I truly do not think there are many painslut subs wanting to visit PDs. My experience has been most want domination, restraint and control with a bit of cp, cbt, anal, nipple stuff but only in moderation. So, we are limited to attracting subs who are first looking for a Mistress, then are close enough to be viable, then who quite fancy us as all subs like to be attracted to their Mistress and then have a list of compatible activities. Sometimes, it amazes me I have any subs at all who I like to play with. However, luckily I do and maybe as you have not been PDing for very long yet, you have not yet found your niche and built up a reputation based on what you most enjoy.If that works over time, you will get more of what you want but never, I suspect, 100% ideal matches. To an extent re-writing your website to any huge degree may not be worth it as sadly many prospective subs do read he website thoroughly anyway. I wish you luck there. My site is designed to attract intelligent men prepared to read all the stuff I took the trouble to write and still people ring and ask me " Do you do caning?" or worse " What fetish clothes will you wear for me?"... * sighs * Being a PD is much different to playing with your own personal subs, one does have to be able to offer a wide range of what subs want, and at the level they want or be prepared to sit at home doing nothing for most of the time. I think ultimately one just has to work out what level of compromise is the right one for us personally. "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other" Emma ( Ch 13) Jane Austen 1816 | |
| 16 Jan 09, 10:02 AM x_Thunder_x UK(E), 9 yrs    |
You're the Domme. You're in charge Make it clear things are to be done YOUR way Mind you I once asked my then senior partner how he put up with a particularly troublesome client. he answered "he pays our fees and he pays promptly" Decide what is more important to you - your sadistic needs or the income ^Thunder^ Edited 16 Jan 09, 10:06 AM by x_Thunder_x | |
| 16 Jan 09, 10:50 AM MadameCaramel  UK(E), 5 yrs £  |
Spot on Thunder. x
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| 16 Jan 09, 8:28 PM MistressTamika UK(CM), 7 yrs £ |
Would that it was as simple as that Thunder... rather I have to agree with Mistress Keene's well thought out and informative response. As a Pro Domme we have the right to turn down subs we do not wish to see and I often do this, primarily as was previously stated, because of their inability to read simple English, however if a client is compatible in all ways except he requests no marking then I am certainly not going to send him away or tell him he MUST take a harder beating!!! There are other, more inventive ways to exercise ones control. Resistance is Futile | |
| 16 Jan 09, 10:27 PM subtler 3 yrs |
As Mistress Keene mentions, one option may be to mould the subs you see more to your particular style over time. It's certainly worked like that for me, though it took a while to happen. I really thrive now on levels of pain I wouldn't have contemplated just a couple of years ago. It's surprising what a little gentle encouragement can do. But perhaps emphasising your interests a bit more on your website wouldn't do any harm. It seems to me that subs may sometimes act subconsciously on this kind of message even if they don't admit to themselves that this is what they're really after. | |
| 16 Jan 09, 11:23 PM lisal 9 yrs |
As a subbie I'd agree with a lot of this (and indeed Mistress Keene's thougtful and sensible (as always) post) Your site really doesn't reflect what you have said in your OP and, while rewriting the whole thing may not be worth it - a change of emphasis, here and there, may help a bit. It's so true that many subs do not read websites. However, some of us do, and, for us, how a website reads and, particularly what it says about the character and interests of the domme are very important. We are looking for someone to connect with and maybe form a longer term relationship (in the professional sense). I know if I was looking now I'd be searching for someone who shared my D/s (not that nasty pain stuff) interests, someone who had a sense of humour and someone who was on the same plane as me. A more generalist style website probably wouln't catch my attention Directing your website at a particular market may cut down a bit on passing trade but could also attract those who may be more on your wavelength and who may become regulars There is a balance here too, as has been said, between the "business" side and the "enjoyment" side. Just how much you need the business may well have an impact on the enjoyment part.... Good luck with whatever you decide!
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| 16 Jan 09, 11:34 PM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
I agree with this. It is possible to bring out the pain slut in some subs. You just need to guide them, tempt them, convert them and reward them. A sub will often take more pain because they want to do it for YOU.
I set my stall out a long time ago to attract the type of client I wanted. It took a while but it worked. I get very few 'tie and tease types' (thank god.) Your site is like the field of dreams. If you build it, they WILL come
The others I convert "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness |
