This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Wed 14 Jan 09, 12:36 PM Lady_Lucan UK(L), 4 yrs |
Been thinking lately about concepts of masochism, and wondering whether it's a sexuality as such, or more of a medico-biological entity. If the latter, surely pain tolerance levels would be a key measure of the condition? But pain tolerance varies so widely, across all demographics, and obviously across the gamut of BDSM predelictions, that this measure seems unlikely to align well with other formulations. Lately there have been a couple of threads alluding to dominants who wish to experience, as well as give, pain. Are these incompatible traits? What's your relationship with pain - giving/receiving, personal tolerance, awareness of/response to others' pain? It's just like the Sixties. Except there's less hope. | |
| 14 Jan 09, 12:55 PM Muzzlehatch UK(TN), 7 yrs   |
My reason for experimenting with 'hitty, whippy things' was to gain experience, and use the knowledge gained to be a better Dom. My personal journey into extremes of pain, is just that. Personal, more 'rites of passage', than anything to do with submission. S_C
Owner and Builder of The Croppery Dungeon and Breakfast, on the sunny East Sussex coast. Edited 14 Jan 09, 12:56 PM by Muzzlehatch | |
| 14 Jan 09, 12:56 PM masterofpuppets UK(MK), 5 yrs |
I don't think that enjoying the delivery of pain and wishing to experience pain are conflicting traits. I am both sadistic and masochistic. I enjoy both sides equally but differently. Receiving a prolonged beating is a kind of release for me, a deep seated need. I am not typically submissive at all, just an occasional painslut. Having spent many years on the receiving end, I feel that I have an understanding of the effects of pain which I can use to good effect when in the dominant role, wheteher it be with male or female slaves. I can be more sensual with the ladies and let my sadistic side have full expression with the guys, who tend to want to be hurt more. After care is something which I learned so much about and put into practice with my slaves / subs. Generally, I believe that to do anything well, you have to fully understand it and that can only be gained from personal experience. | |
| 14 Jan 09, 1:02 PM steeev_slave UK, 10 yrs |
I guess I'm not really a masochist, although clearly possess a masochistic element to my personality. Pain and suffering is only one part of the experience I look for. I suspect also that my pain tolerance is rather low, but as you point out, there is an enormous spectrum of tolerance out there. My pain and suffering is primarily to be endured for the pleasure and amusement of my Mistress. The other three elements which all interact and merge are: command and control, humiliation and degradation, sexual arousal. I cannot imagine any level of satisfaction from pain alone, without the presence of at least one other element. To both give and receive is, surely, just switching. There appear to be plenty of switches around. I do have Dom tendencies, although I am primarily sub. I imagine we all have a BDSM ying and yang. With most people it is probably so low on either side they would be regarded as simply "vanilla". Those of us frequenting IC, however, will tend toward Dom(me), sub or switch. | |
| 14 Jan 09, 1:04 PM CPeccavi 4 yrs |
Pain tolerance? Hmmph, no such thing. Mine has gone, completely. I have morphed into a vanillaesque wuss. What i would say, though, is it is an extension of my sexuality ..... well it was. Being sadistic, however, isn't. That's just something I do for the hell of it. A Man Is For Pleasure, Not For Life | |
| 14 Jan 09, 1:08 PM Lady_Lucan UK(L), 4 yrs |
This interests me a great deal. I can seek pain, and I suppose the best term is 'enjoy' it, but I get absolutely no sexual arousal from it - quite the opposite, in fact, because my body 'shuts off'. It's like being a brain floating in a jar for a while. Likewise, if any aspect of command or humilation was involved, I wouldn't be able or willing to endure pain, and instead would try to fight me way out of, rather than through, it, even if that put me at greater risk. So perhaps the connectedness to pain is what separates us most of all?
It's just like the Sixties. Except there's less hope. | |
| 14 Jan 09, 3:34 PM steeev_slave UK, 10 yrs |
You Domme, me sub. As I said earlier - I need the other aspects to be able to handle the pain. However, the pain is probably the least important - it's actually the fact that it comes from a woman with the strength to be Domme that makes it so exciting. I guess a lot of women could administer a spanking, or even a thrashing, but few could combine that with real superiority and dominance - although manifested in physical activities the real Domme / sub connection is made between minds. Further, I believe that it's "easier" to be sub than Dom/me. OK the sub needs some level of endurance, and (hopefully) will make efforts to please, but it is of course the Domme who is in charge and has to think and plan - both ahead and in real time. Relatively, the sub lies back and thinks of... Hope this makes some sense. | |
| 14 Jan 09, 3:44 PM somerset UK(TA), 9 yrs |
It's mad but at Erotica in december I brought a pair of black clover clamps as I thought they looked nice. They are the most comfortable I have ever purchased. Several people have tried them now and we all agree! | |
| 14 Jan 09, 5:16 PM Zorro666 UK(WC), 4 yrs |
I think in order to give out pain you need to have recieved it so you know what the levels and the feelings are....dont do unto others unless you would have done unto you..... | |
| 14 Jan 09, 5:25 PM robsmessedup UK(GU), 4 yrs |
I agree with zorro666. Before I'd had the chance to experience pain, I didn't have the confidence to dish it out because I just didn't know how much could be considered appropriate! | |
| 14 Jan 09, 5:46 PM Al_Hyde UK(KT), 3 yrs |
I too have been thinking about this after reading the threads here, I am a dominant man and I have to say I love to be bitten in the neck and well all over plus being scratched and clawed at. This is quite mild I would think ? but I have tried all the usual suspects and found I have I have an extremely high tolerance for pain as in of the chart ! I was surprised to find out it was so Hi, so I have been doing some investigating with friends and found like every one before me, that there are different types of pain and to gain the maximum amount of pleasure from it you must take time whether it be minutes, hours or even days ! I was talking with Princess of Subness about how and what she feels when being spanked ( as I have seen her exorst three men and still want more ) and she said its a mixture of tolerance and response to the person applying them. This is obviously true to her but I would like to hear others perceptions to this as well. |
