This post is on the BDSM Activism web board.
| Tue 13 Jan 09, 7:31 PM KinkyChristian UK(SE), 5 yrs  |
I am writing an article (for a mainstream publication) about International Fetish Day this Friday - and I need your help! I will be discussing the extent to which people who have fetishes and practise BDSM still face prejudice (or at least jeering) if they make their preferences known. I am looking for examples of prejudice. This could be something major (e.g. bullying at work) or relatively minor (e.g. sneers in the street at fetish clothing). Examples of positive responses are also welcome! I am happy to quote you annonymously if you don't want your name mentioned. If you don't want to post on the board, you can email me at kinkyquaker@yahoo.co.uk. Thanks very much! | |
| 13 Jan 09, 8:25 PM Degenerate  UK(M), 4 yrs    |
Max Mosley.. well documented. People losing their jobs due to kink is not that uncommon, often in situations similar to Max's. Maybe some of them will come forward. What's the publication? De Sign up to CAAN's statement - http://www.caan.org.uk Edited 13 Jan 09, 9:38 PM by Degenerate | |
| 13 Jan 09, 8:32 PM Ishmael UK(SE), 12 yrs |
One of the questions asked at job interviews for posts at quite high levels for some local authorites is 'Is thee anything in your personal life that would cause embarassment to the local authority if it were made public?' I think that's a careful way to discriminate against people that might be, among other things, kinky. Burns Night, Saturday 31st January, The Master Gunner, Finsbury Square | |
| 13 Jan 09, 8:34 PM skyfox UK(EH), 4 yrs |
I wrote a four-part blog on the language used to describe BDSM: BDSM in the Media: 1: BDSM good, 2: Who or what is kinky?, 3: sadomaso-everything, and 4: the P-word. This mostly refers to the language difference between terms used. Something else that bothers me is the incidence of BDSM, fetishes and kink in general in sexual advice columns. Very few take it as normal. And in general forums, questions relating to fetishes will generally get a big loud WTF/eeeeew from others. (Except for the one guy who wants you to do it to him please contact him on msn/yahoo.) But gathering stories is definitely a good way to do it. Do you include outings? The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. | |
| 13 Jan 09, 8:38 PM littlenic UK(KT), 5 yrs |
All my friends have been unfailingly positive, interested, warm and welcoming. They're thrilled to see me happy and content. Whilst they don't "get it", they are often fascinated to know more, and absolutely think it's acceptable, and my right to do as I please inside my own relationships and private life. Which is more than you can sometimes say for the people on this website.
ETA: Sorry, you did say you wanted positive examples too!
Edited again after Judy's post prompted me: I should point out that my friends were also my colleagues when I first "came out" - I work for myself now, so they're not colleagues, they are now my clients!! What time is it? Edited 13 Jan 09, 9:01 PM by littlenic | |
| 13 Jan 09, 8:50 PM JudyInDsGuise UK(E), 8 yrs |
Despite being 'out' with colleagues, friends and family, and despite using other kink sites in the past, the only place I've witnessed any kink prejudice is IC. Non-BDSM people in my life are usually fascinated, amused, or accepting about my kinks. BDSMers that I meet away from IC are pretty much the same (but are more likely to request that I don't discuss my kinks with them, which is fine). Only on IC do I get comments that imply I should either prove or disprove someone else's prejudices (but they don't bother to tell me *why* I should). ETA: I was composing this as littlenic posted, so SNAP! LOL judy
Edited 13 Jan 09, 8:51 PM by JudyInDsGuise | |
| 13 Jan 09, 8:58 PM Fridayschild 3 yrs |
People at work have a good idea of what i'm into and they are happy with it, we have a laugh...i'm trying to get the boss to wear red leather gloves and spank me when i do stuff wrong  . I should at least be put on a designated naughty step for time out i think.The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. | |
| 13 Jan 09, 9:04 PM Ishmael UK(SE), 12 yrs |
Mine too, but I work in the theatre, which is well-known as a hotbed of vice and lewdness, the haunt of prostitutes of both sexes, and a sink of buggery and countless other depravities, presided over by a flock of degenerate and dissipated old pathics, so nobody's in the least bit bothered. (I just mention all of the above to inflame the ire of people with no sense of irony) I think the key area of concern might be in the 'caring' professions, such as childcare, nursing, teaching, mental healthcare, and the police and prison services, where it might be assumed by stupid, ignorant or vicious people that we have no other way of expressing our sexuality than by preying on the vulnerable and dependant. In fact, I understand this sort of abuse to be extremely rare. Like almost never.
Burns Night, Saturday 31st January, The Master Gunner, Finsbury Square | |
| 13 Jan 09, 9:20 PM JudyInDsGuise UK(E), 8 yrs |
When I get my new bathroom, I *SO* want one of those! judy
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| 13 Jan 09, 9:25 PM Iphis_me UK(E), 4 yrs |
Then you're lucky Judy, as my mother reacted pretty badly (and she's generally very sexually liberal, I did not expect it) and although I think he has at least some idea of it and is basically ok I spent some time worrying that my ex would take it badly and potentially try to use it against me (and yes this could be an issue as he is the father of my child). Work, luckily enough is generally not a problem - I'm not entirely out at work but a fair few people I work with have some idea, but I work with a highly eccentric bunch of (mainly) men and not in any of the professions that Ishmael mentioned may cause concern. I know other people in the scene who work in education, social work etc may have much more concern about being out at work because of stupid misconceptions.
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" | |
| 13 Jan 09, 9:31 PM Doghouse_Reilly UK(MK), 6 yrs |
I think you sort of jumped the gun on this, in terms of I think the real prejudice may well be yet to come. Consider this; when the new law comes into force what will be the probable cause to search and seize people's computers and other equipment on suspicion of breaking the new law? I'll bet any money it'll be because they're kinky. If you're kinky, if people know about it, if you make an enemy, who knows, maybe you get that knock at the door. Somebody tips the plod off, tells them you're a pervert and off they go. Fact is you don't need to actually be convicted under this law to get fucked by it, because they'll clean out your house of anything with data storage ability and not get it back to you for God knows how long. Anybody who says truth is stranger than fiction has never seen tentacle porn. |
