Page: 1 2 3

What would you say to a new dom? (28)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

Scribbles wrote:
To my mind, being Dom is totally individual.

Indeed, it's about being yourself.

When I first joined I.C. there were certain 'stars', uber-domly types who seemed to have it all, seem intimidating, there still is!

But they are just human; put yourself about a bit and you'll find subbies who 'know' them, and will giggle at their mistakes, how they get it wrong (for that subbie).

'Cos everyone is human.

I think it's rather smart that you are able to post the O.P - that's a sign of strength. There are no Domly check lists, nothing you should be, or things you 'have' to do.

Just be yourself, respect the other, and above all, have a laugh with them.

A filthy, pervy one.

"Me? I'm all about the hugs.
And cruelty. Hugs and cruelty basically."

13 Jan 09, 8:33 PM
blackat13
SG, 3 yrs

I had this 'problem' too when I started realising that I would enjoy being a Domme. I had accepted that I like to cause people pain when they enjoy it, but I didn't know how to go about it, how to get into it, and what responsibilities I had. I then had the idea of being submissive for a little while in order to see what someone who has a lot of experience does. I have to say it really helped (and also made me realised I'm a switch). By being dominated I learned what makes a good Dominant. After that I did a scene with a friend of mine who has been a sub for a good few years, so I was comfortable with her and not afraid to 'mess up' or ask her afterwards how it was. Now I'm quite confident in my Domming abilities, although still learning as I go along of course. A firm hand and a caring heart are a good combination methinks.

15 Jan 09, 12:40 PM
x_missdaisy_x
UK, 3 yrs

It's trite & been said before in many other arenas, but "treat your submissive with the same respect as you would wish to be treated yourself" works for me.

15 Jan 09, 1:59 PM
Ghedes_Princess
UK(SW), 6 yrs

I would say "learn to use lots of hitty things"

Oh and also "if you need target practice..." hehe

15 Jan 09, 2:45 PM
George_Michael
5 yrs

Doctor_G wrote:
...Which leads to a big question...

What does it mean to be dom in a D/s relationship?

Breakfast in bed - whenever and however you like

You want to do what with the marmite?..

15 Jan 09, 5:17 PM
newexperiences
UK, 5 yrs

i'm not sure if this applies to male Doms but Dommes who show their vulnerability and cry on your shoulder when sad or upset certainly make me feel i'm trusted and i value that,its not necessary to have to pretend to be strong all the time,i'd be interested experienced Doms/Dommes opinion on this if any are reading this?

15 Jan 09, 6:58 PM
hailstone
UK(HD), 9 yrs

i'd smile and say "hello new Dom"

If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it. Marcus Tullius Cicero

15 Jan 09, 8:03 PM
crackedporcelain
UK(DT), 3 yrs

Doctor_G wrote:
What would you say to a new dom?

Hi, nice to meet you, is usually a good start. :P

Doctor_G wrote:
What does it mean to be dom in a D/s relationship?

It means taking on a lot of responsibility, understanding the needs of your partner more intimately than in any other situation. Making hard, and occasionally unpopular decisions and taking the blame for them. Equally feeling a more intense pride and affection for your partner than in a 'nilla situation.

Doctor_G wrote:
What do you folk on the bottom think the chap on the top should be like?

Compassionate, good sense of humour, imaginative, mentally strong and makes me go wobbly whenever he requests something of me.