This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.
| 7 Jan 09, 9:43 PM Fridayschild 3 yrs |
That is because you WERE betrayed and he DID cheat on you, he choose to see a pro domme rather than be with you without your prior knowledge or agreement. Who knows what they got up to? What makes you think he wouldn't do it again? Has he done it just the once or is it that he wants you to THINK? Some pro dommes have sex with their cliants - allow them to finish off how they want, i'm sure not all do but some do... at least allow them do do oral usually. I'm sure he will cover up the details but i'm also sure he didn't give one shit about you whilst he was doing it. The problem with this country these days is that it seems to make it ok for men to use women for sex or pay for it - why should you accept it? And just because most of the ic community thinks its ok, not all of us do. In fact, i think i would be more understanding of a one night stand which just happened than this, to see a pro dommee takes some planning! The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. | |||
| 9 Jan 09, 2:40 PM annie79 UK, 3 yrs  |
Hi guys, thanks to you all who've offered some advice or an opinion on my circumstance. | |||
| 10 Jan 09, 11:49 PM annie79 UK, 3 yrs |
Sorry, I seem to be missing the point your trying to make, care to elaborate?
| |||
| 11 Jan 09, 10:47 AM roymondo UK(LN), 4 yrs  |
Have you thought of going back to that pro-domme with him? Many will, I believe, be happy to help you as your imagination (and his) will be bounded. It would expand your knowledge. | |||
| 11 Jan 09, 3:42 PM safeandsoundbdsm UK(S), 5 yrs |
For me, my personal view is, as to seeing a pro dom/me or not it is the same thing. Going behind your partner's back is decitful, shows dishonesty and a lack of respect. If you do something that you know would upset your partner and then hide it from them you have twice deliberately been decitful and dishonest. I have no issue with anyone seeing a pro dom/me or the business transaction part. Part of the foundation of any relationship, bdsm or otherwise, is openness, honesty and communication. Chris | |||
| 12 Jan 09, 7:37 PM Ethics_Gradient UK(N), 5 yrs |
Yes - I doubt many people would relate to 'its OK she was a pro and so it doesn't count' defence. I do relate to 'its quite hard to explain to your partner what you like when a) you love her, b) you don't really know yourself and c) you don't know how she'll react' mitigation because that's an emotionally tough situation, but it is just mitigation, and its still not OK behaviour. But at least he admitted it huh (must have been feeling jolly guilty about it for a while) And all men kill the thing they love, By all let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword! | |||
| 12 Jan 09, 9:53 PM Fridayschild 3 yrs |
EVERYONE has issues The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. Edited 12 Jan 09, 9:54 PM by Fridayschild | |||
| 12 Jan 09, 9:56 PM Fridayschild 3 yrs |
 ?
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. | |||
| 13 Jan 09, 1:15 AM sunnyplay4444 UK(M), 3 yrs |
Fridays Child , Your funny. LIKE IT, LIKE IT!! Edited 13 Jan 09, 1:17 AM by sunnyplay4444 | |||
| 14 Jan 09, 6:14 PM Captain_Jack UK(CR), 5 yrs |
You are right to feel this way and on the contrary, you must never forget. If you feel you can forgive him, then do so. Yet always remain on your guard. Because the concrn is that the moment he'll consider something lacking in your relationship, be it now or in ten yuears, he might feel justified to go elsewhere again, because there were no real consequences last time 'round. Perhaps you can make him pay in some way for having broken the trust ... but I really don't see what could come close to be a suitable punishment for something as big as that. If you feel you can't forgive him ... get rid of him. Life's too short to surround yourself with people you can't trust. Your Captain Jack And as an afterthought ... that it happened early on in the relationship makes it worse, not less.
|
