This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 29 Dec 08, 2:39 PM nawty_kitty UK(YO), 3 yrs  |
depends who it is, I would call him my master or daddy usually to friends and some of my family but referring to him as that to your boss or such like is just going to make people think you are weird which is probably not always a good thing so boyfriend is best | |
| 29 Dec 08, 3:22 PM Tadashii_Aikouka 5 yrs |
I totally understand why someone might see it this way, but I actually really like the idea of "other halves" as though you are part of a matching set or two parts of something that fits together. I guess it all comes down to whether you believe in the concept of "the one" or not. I'm not 100% sure that I do, though I prefer the idea of that than the idea that we just get on with each other to a greater or lesser degree. I suspect reality is in fact somewhere inbetween. In the case of a bereavement, there are many who would still prefer the view that they had lost their other half, as to think of it in terms other than this might in some way lessen the perceived importance of the partner that had died. Of course I don't consider a single person to only be half a person, a person is a person, but they are half (or a third or whatever in the case of polyamory) of a potential relationship and it is the relationship that is referred to really when I talk of my other half. In terms of one partner having the responsibility to be all things to another (mentioned in another post, but relevantI think), I agree that it is not a responsibility, but isn't the ideal to find someone who is as well matched as possible so that you connect on as many levels as possible? It's not a responsibility on my part to be everything to my partner, I feel it is wonderful that we share so many interests and think in a very similar way about life and what is important. It's not restrictive because its not a requirement, it's just the way it is. Can I whack my badger in your mouth? Edited 29 Dec 08, 3:24 PM by Tadashii_Aikouka | |
| 29 Dec 08, 3:32 PM wonderer UK, 5 yrs  |
Oh good - I'm glad I haven't offended you, candyflip, while expressing a contrary view. I used to use "other half" myself until someone disapproved and sensitized me to the implications that some might take.
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| 29 Dec 08, 3:54 PM Tadashii_Aikouka 5 yrs |
I guess people can take offense at pretty much anything one says. I certainly don't think it's necessary to censor oneself over such trivial things incase someone gets upset about it. People should take responsibility for their own feelings about certain issues rather than bleat that "she made me feel like I'm not a whole person". I tend to think that if someone takes a harmless label (referring to someone else) to mean someone is saying something derogatory about them, it is more likely that they have issues over how they see themselves rather than how anyone else sees them. Can I whack my badger in your mouth? | |
| 29 Dec 08, 4:33 PM yin_yang UK(HP), 3 yrs |
very important to keep the d/s aspect of your relationship exactly that - just one aspect | |
| 29 Dec 08, 6:50 PM Phrixus UK(ST), 5 yrs |
That's awful!! It's generalised and full of assumptions. Last time I nearly fell in love I felt like I'd given part of me to that person and they'd given me part of them. I don't care exactly what fraction it was. That meant and means a lot to me and it's only offensive to people who wish to be offended and I find that offensive (oops). When we broke up there was a time after a while when I realised I'd got that part of me that I'd given away back and I'd let go that part of her. I was whole again. It marked the point at which I felt so much better and back to being myself again. Intimacy needs trust and creates interdependency, that's what makes it powerful and fulfilling. You can't have a risk free relationship where you maintain full independence, there is no such thing as a free lunch. I think it's fair language and it irks me when people seem to go over the top on being offended. This signature has been left blank intentionally. | |
| 29 Dec 08, 9:21 PM Pretty_miss_pinup 4 yrs |
hmmm
when ever i talk to friends i call him the other half...i feel that when you add the halves together(me and him!) we make a super team of love lol and i always think of the love part first and even tho he is the sub part in the BDSM relationship i dont value him any different, hes the same as me regardless if he likes to be sub or not. i think that in general there is an assumption that the sub part in the BDSM relationship is weaker..i think this is not always the case. x x x | |
| 29 Dec 08, 10:05 PM Masters_Delight UK(WD), 5 yrs |
I refer to Sir as my hot bit of man stuff.  Im so fucking fabulous, i piss glitter. | |
| 29 Dec 08, 10:10 PM syndeetoo UK(WC), 6 yrs |
I referred to H as my boyfriend until at least a year after we were wed. Let our love be a flame, not an ember, | |
| 30 Dec 08, 7:04 AM wonderer UK, 5 yrs |
The words fiancé and fiancée don't seem to be used a lot nowadays. As for self-censorship, that's not how I see it. I avoid "other half" because it seems to give a wrong impression for the reasons described, and also out of respect to a proportion of single people who might dislike it. There is a difference between courtesy and self censorship. I don't see my wife as my other half, though I used to use the term occasionally. We're two separate but to a large extent mutually dependent people who love each other. We're neither mirror images nor clones. We each have our own interests and networks as well as shared interests and networks; both part of wider communities as well as of our marriage. If either of us lost the other we'd be absolutely gutted; utterly bereft and would go through a period of unconsolable mourning before gradually emerging to new life and new growth. But we'd go through this process as a full person, not a half person.
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