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How to introduce someone to D/s fun (36)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

26 Dec 08, 5:18 PM
The_Vicar
UK(CF), 6 yrs

Pantagruel wrote:

It's probably worse than Buckaroo (like, when you 'accidentally' say some other girl's name during sex, then see how long you can stay on for).

Lol, Thank you.

I've been told I don't suffer fools gladly - but I don't particularly dislike them. It's the malicious sociopaths I can't stand.

27 Dec 08, 5:42 PM
juliettex
UK, 3 yrs

unleashed79 wrote:
How to introduce someone to D/s fun

Okay, here's my predicament....I'm a fairly inexperienced sub guy who has met a wonderful lady who I'm very happy with, she's smart, beautiful, fun to be with etc, the only thing I'm worried about is introducing kink into the bedroom, don't get me wrong I could spend hours with good ol' vanilla fun, but I'd love to bring an eliment of kink to our sex life, I know she's an open minded lady but I don't want to freak her out or scare her away....advice please! Oh and apologies for my poor grammar or spelling!

Thanks for reading.

Afraid I have no useful advice - but for what it's worth, I feel your pain (so to speak...)

Have had exactly the same thing in my love life about ten times, from a sub lady's point of view. Although at the risk of wallowing in self-pity, I think it's worse as a lady... men just run the risk of looking like a pervert, girls run the risk of looking like a fucked up basket case (and probably pathologically promiscuous slapper

To this very day, I can't fully level with my man about how much I like certain things in bed - specifically, verbal abuse. I mean, how on earth can you ask the nice vanilla man in your life to call you a 'filthy, worthless little whore' every time you have sex without sounding like an emotionally disturbed weirdo???????

Answers on a postcard please :-/

www.thenewadventuresofjuliette.blogspot.com

27 Dec 08, 7:01 PM
Storyteller
UK, 3 yrs

I know some people who might respond to the question in one word: carefully...

27 Dec 08, 7:14 PM
male2shemaid
UK(SA), 4 yrs

Maybe you could put together a nice Powerpoint presentation complete with appropriate slides, imagery and perhaps both audio and video?

About time that out of the hundreds of millions of Powerpoint presentations the World over that at least one of them is used for something useful.

Or perhaps you could discreetly slip it into the conversation sometime such as - "I was helping your Mother move some boxes in her attic the other day and you would never believe what she showed me!".

11 Jan 09, 11:30 PM
Spangled
3 yrs

I'm in the reverse of this situation (I'm a submissive girl with a boyfriend who is only just discovering his dominant side.) I'd say one good plan is to mention a very standard vanilla fantasy that could be made kinky (naughty schoolgirl is a good one). Lots of men have a thing about schoolgirl uniforms - your gf probably won't think it is weird.

Then, you'll see from her reaction how open minded she is. If she goes for it, then great! And it would be a perfect opportunity to give her a play spanking and see if she likes it. If not, you coupld probably backpedal from that point without the relationship being damaged.

14 Jan 09, 10:16 PM
nuto_this2
UK, 3 yrs

Pantagruel wrote:

male2shemaid wrote:
Perhaps the best, most simple way to see whether a vanilla partner might have an interest in kink is, during vanilla love-making, to simply and lightly spank your partner on the bottom and watch for the reaction both visually and audibly.

I'd just like to add the above emphasis, for the sake of avoiding an Angry Hornet situation. Hit someone and, kink neophyte or not, they'll just feel that you've hit them

It's probably worse than Buckaroo (like, when you 'accidentally' say some other girl's name during sex, then see how long you can stay on for).

A very funny quote (Buckeroo) not that I have ever experienced that of course but it made me chuckle.

14 Jan 09, 11:21 PM
polyanna
UK(CV), 4 yrs

I'd stay away from the slapping personally. If someone did that to me, I'd be telling them where to fsck off; i hate it. If i was vanilla, and that was my first experience, I'd be singularly unimpressed!

I did two things with my vanilla gf.. I wrote her a story (it's here on my ic blog) and i started off by biting her lightly and introducing teeth. She discovered that she LIKED being bitten, and biting, and when i told her i was kinky, and wrote her the story but i wrote it more for me than her and was going to edit bits of it out. She knew i had it up here, and came and found it for herself and liked it. :D

We've gone from there...

Oh, and i tried the holding her down by the wrists thing, and that went well too :D

all goooood.

"That didn't hurt. That didn't hurt. That didn't hurt. That hurt! (Do it again)"
~*~
"It's like she doesn't need other people to define who she is; she already knows."

15 Jan 09, 7:02 AM
subkazzi
UK(BH), 4 yrs

My first Dom took me to an Ann Summers shop on the pretext of being me some underwear whilst there we had a giggle about some of the things on sale and we came back with handcuffs, blindfold etc to try out with... It worked thou been hooked since

15 Jan 09, 8:58 AM
massado200

UK(LS), 8 yrs

unleashed79 wrote:
How to introduce someone to D/s fun

Thanks for reading.

I would say there are a thousand and one ways to introduce kink into a relationship BUT which ever way you choose START GENTLY, as the old saying goes 'Softly, Softly catchee monkey'

15 Jan 09, 5:41 PM
newexperiences
UK, 5 yrs

I'd go for leaving some books about BDSM for her to find,claudia varrin has erotic stories in one which i enjoyed,but one thing has to be said your vanilla partner may not want anything to do with a D/s BDSM lifestyle and you should accept it if thats the case.Good luck

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