Pro-Doms (46)

Tara_Red wrote: RobinC wrote: So in response to the OP I'd have to say give me another year and I'll be able to put a better answer! Robin I'd make that 3 or more, maybe I'm being out of turn here but I know I would'nt pay to see a pro who'd only been a dom/domme for a year, I just don't think they'd have enough experience.

Didn't say that I'd be a pro-dom in a year - but that I'd be able to give a better answer in a year - small, but significant, difference...

I am however an *extremely* fast learner, have an innate understanding of psychological issues (and will be following up more on that with the degree etc) and will be picking the brains and watching the techniques of everyone that I can. I'll pull in info at my own speed and definitely not run before I can walk...

Even if I never go pro-dom I probably will be doing other things to help those who want that sort of experience within the year - such as helping out where I can, being someone to talk to and ask questions, and just generally getting "known"... Think it'll take significantly longer to get the reputation that jahc does mind you

Talking over the idea with a friend I did come up with a couple of other questions, comments, and ideas.

I think the difference between a dom who's happy to do anything for a sub who wants it, and someone that does the same for money - is that when you're going to pay someone you expect more - especially as the low number of pro-doms all seem to have a good reputation to start with.

I also had an idea that the difference between a pro-dom and a pro-domme is far more in the people that use them, rather than the services they offer. With different needs for the subs you behave differently (and if you're a specialist such as jahc with rope then it doesn't matter what sex you are).

Which leads on to the differences between male subs and female subs who may pay for the service rather than find their own personal dom(me). I get the impression that male subs get more gratification out of what is done to them, and female subs get more satisfaction out of it. Definitely need to order my thoughts more and ask more questions on that one

One of the other things relating to why I (personally, rather than "new" doms in general) am looking at the idea of pro-dom is that I'd like to think that it would be another form of therapy that I could help people with. I don't think I'd like to dom someone for the first time without sitting down and talking to them, maybe even running through a (mental) questionnaire, and getting to know them. Not far off what you'd do with any new sub really - just in a more standardised fashion. I'm assuming there that I learn enough skills at a high enough level that it's relevant obviously.

And before anyone takes issue at the "therapy" word - they come to a pro-dom, they have one or more scenes or sessions, they go away feeling better. If that's not therapeutic I don't know what is.

Robin

I certainly don't have specific plans for much - I know certain steps I will be taking in my life, and I know a lot of different places they could take me. Pro-dom is one (albeit one that I could identify with well).

I'm also not looking at it from the money side. To be perfectly honest money doesn't really bother me, I'm not rich, but I can live comfortably on my investments without any other income.

My whole reason for thinking about pro-dom basically comes down to trust.

There are a lot of subs out there who will find doms that they trust to play with. Some in public, most in private. There are a lot of good doms out there who find subs that they will play with, same again.

The reason for thinking about it in terms of pro-dom instead of well-known-but-free-dom is that it gives an added layer of trust to the play for someone who doesn't have that network of friends and doms to lean on.

From what I can see most pro-dommes get local reputations, but the number of them means that very few get community-wide reputations. The few pro-doms out there however seem to all have community wide reputations. Nothing against the pro-dommes, but simply that fewer men want to try to become professionals (in the literal sense) so those that do mean more to the community.

I *think* that I'm going to spend the rest of my life in the community as someone that people like to talk to, trusted for private and public play by reputation, and friends with a wide swathe of people. However becoming a pro-dom is just something that fits how my mind works, so I'm not going to make any actual decisions on that till I know a lot more about myself and the community knows more about me.

If any other pro-doms want to compare this to how they got into it... Or if anyone wants to ask a pro-dom who's not on IC and pass on their views...

Robin

(edit as still on laptop and the keyboard is a bit iffy)

Edited 25 Dec 08, 3:41 AM by RobinC

And the reasons why fewer men become pros is the demand - literally nil, I work with 2 pro doms and the amount of female subs asking for a paying session in a year is around 1 or 2, it's mainly male subs, plus couples or voyeur sessions.

However both mean a lot to the community as both put a lot into it in their respective fields in respect of giving their knowledge to others, however neither is well known as being a pro dom and rarely at clubs and events do people even mention their pro work if indeed they even realise that they work in this field.

Alas, there is a sheer lack of demand though.

Must be my slippers

I asked it once, "What are you doing on Earth?" It said, "Listen, if you're a mushroom, you live cheap; besides, I'm telling you, this was a very nice neighborhood until the monkeys got out of control.

My current Dominatrix in Lincolnshire works with her partner a Dom. They have a beautiful dungeon and somewhere else (don't ask as I don't know yet).

I have only been with her but they will take either sex or couples or work as a pair. While they are Pro they do it on an as and when basis.

Touching on equipment - buy in or make - they use a combination. All wood wear is home made. He has a wood turner makes the floggers etc. He makes the frames and benches.

Leatherwear is bought in often from the US. I guess their biggest investment is a £600 fucking machine from the US.

The cost of equipping a dungeon puts the the tribute in proportion.

Look at the minimum wage, what do you get for your money, FA. Look at how much a doctor charges per hour and misses things. With a Domme/Dom you get hands on () for the whole time.

So my question would have been, How many women actually use a Dom? Then puriently, What do the expect a Dom to do? With a Pro sex is off the menu.

We were talking about the chances of a woman looking for a similar type of meeting. I have met a couple of women who were into medical play but I cannot imagine either of them paying for the sessions - the most that I got was a share in the hotel charges. Neither of us have ever heard of a professional Dom male who offers a similar service.

This has been an interesting thread and thanks to everyone for joining in.

In the main it is still men who want to session with Pro-Dom's too, its not sexual, think erotic but without any prostitutable acts but its still their kink.

my partner is a male Pro Dom and he specifically told me that the vast majority of his clients are either gay and loaded or closeted bi and married. He tends to charge the gay guys more for that reason and his prices easily compare with most Pro Dommes. its simple supply and demand, he has a pro website but still gets most of his clients through word of mouth because hes infamous.

If he had a speciality it would have to be psychological control. Those of you who know him will know exactly what I'm talking about, mmmmmmmm

he says women are rare, but tend to be more loyal as customers, because when they can afford it they regard it in the same way as paying for a hairdresser or a good manicure. He also says that sessions with men tend to last longer than the average session with a pro domme, his normal average is between 4 - 8 hours.

Senno Ekto Gamat

Edited 20 Jan 09, 1:16 AM by Mistress_Avralivia

*Waves*

I'm really not picking a fight here. I question your use of 'need', 'most', 'therapeutic' and 'wouldn't want'... You're fully informed, are you, of people's (not least women's) motivations for seeing professional Dom/mes? I don't recall your canvassing opinion...

I do wish people would slick off generalisations. If you'd like to analyse the fact from the perspective of financial means, gender and sexual conditioning, differential socialisation, etc. then that would make a heck of a lot more sense.

v._dr

It has been something of a surprise that almost all of my clients have been female. Lots of enquiries from men, usually doms, to boot, but they haven't as yet taken that final step and booked up.

Pro-Jahc, the thinking person's anti-depressant!

Edited 25 Jan 09, 5:04 PM by Jahc01