Posted by Talullah_Red on Mon 1 Dec 08, 12:09 AM to Talullah_Red's blog.
I have to go to a wedding. I fucking hate weddings. I prefer funerals; at least I have a realistic chance of being personally involved in one of those!
I only know the groom from the whole wedding party! And the date I had lined up is no longer lined up, so now I am datless and to make it worse Alan (Ex Fridge boy) who is my stand in date for every thing cant make it as he has a function at his pub so ill end up turning up, just me, on me todd, on me billy, sat next to an empty chair pretending I think its all marvellous, trying not to make gagging noises every time some one says summat gay,(that tends to happen lots at weddings) having people looking at me like I've just been placed in the X Factor grand final bottom 3 sing off with Jimmy sodding Krankie and Wiggfield!
That said though the geriatric ex …who's about 104 (ha ha NL I hope that made you giggle) has been calling twice a day for the last week, of course I've been ignoring his calls – but I've put the lovely flowers in a nice vase! 
I am a woman its my go given right to enjoy the contractory things in life!!! – besides white roses – he has it bang on.
He's not so bad, he gets an erection on his birthday if the wind is in the right direction, and he always has to be right – even when he's wrong an he doesn't do Tappas (?!) but he makes me laugh, we have history, I find that terribly attractive when someone doesn't need telling who you are, what you are about and what makes you tick! He is into safe sex too; he has a rail around his bed.
I am rubbish at swallowing my pride though. I'll have to give him the talk, this is not a date, date we are not going out. I couldn't go though that again, waitresses asking me what my dad wants to eat and stuff. My dads dead, but at least he is guaranteed stiff I suppose…..
In other news the 1940s house is coming along, its still Baltic, its still like wartime Britain with only two cups of hot water per bath even after 12 hours of having the water heater on, but its home. I have become a boring premature middle aged prick, I spend my days off in Ikea drooling over rugs an dining tables an I got rather excitable when Joanne from Argos rang yesterday to say my fridge freezer was coming tomorrow. Mmm bath,,,, I find myself daydreaming about a good long soak in a huge bath with oooodels of hot water an a vodka of course! I am just a simple girl, with simple needs.
Work is just very busy at the moment I am doing sleeping shifts so when its Wednesday, I think its Sunday, everything's a bit of a blur 6 days out of seven. but i am only in 5am till 8am tomorow as a favour, and i am off tuesay .. i can smell a cocktail or 20!!!!!!!!
The kink side of life has spilt into the vanilla, I made the decision to start dating again after 11 years of none dating (dinner an a fuck, an I don't wanna meet your parents, or go on nights out with your friends or buy matching hats) so any way our Jay dared me to, an now 'ive been on four dates, 2 very nice ones (one of them a kinkster) and two terrible ones that had me using my back up call within the first hour ..'Rhonda, come home now, granddad is dead'…. Granddad died in 1978 but it works every time. Not sure I'll carry on dating I am an idiot magnet, and I am too young to be tied down…….. well you know what I mean
no other news, I hope everyone is happy an well, I am gonna shut my ranting face now and make a cup of tea!
| 1 Dec 08, 12:43 AM Talullah_Red 3 yrs |
oooho oh i forgot to say i became an aunty again today! Gabriel lucian Smith hurrah! heppy news! If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you! | |
| 1 Dec 08, 3:11 AM HisHoliness UK(KT), 6 yrs  |
I name that Four Weddings and a Funeral quote and claim my free piece of wedding cake!! ETA: Oh and congratulations as well Aunty. Will there be Christening cake per chance? This communication was brought to you from the desk of the Pontiff Elect, the benchmark by which purity, holiness & normality are measured.
Bless you. Edited 1 Dec 08, 3:19 AM by HisHoliness | |
| 1 Dec 08, 9:28 AM Talullah_Red 3 yrs |
ETA: Oh and congratulations as well Aunty. Will there be Christening cake per chance?
[/quote] well spotted! but you were not the first to point out this effective deflective! but no one leaves this show empty handed... so we will chop off your hands! ha ha ha there better had be cake, need summat to stick in me mouth to stop me from taking the piss out of such a gay name! - hope they plan to home school.. poor sod! If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you! | |
| 1 Dec 08, 9:41 AM CPeccavi 4 yrs |
Gabriel was one of my chosen names for my December baby but we already had one in the family so he got called summat else. Shame really, as it means he still speaks to me and this means I'll have to fork out for his twenty first birthday party in three weeks. A Man Is For Pleasure, Not For Life | |
| 1 Dec 08, 10:25 AM Talullah_Red 3 yrs |
i am not backing down! i am off to barclays now to start a savings account to pay for private school! i hope he hugs you and thanks you everyday for not putting him through that! how are you feeling about being the mother of a 21 year old? my ma dissaperes with a bottle of gin (and more often than not a 25 year old sailor) for the last two weeks of september (mybirthay first week in october)and she winges about lost time, lost figures, lots dreams.. i havent told her i am 30 next year, shes still 3 years behind you would think people in my Family would empathise with daft name synrome also known as drunkrichparentitus; Rhonda-Elvira, melanie - Barbra Ann, Christian Brian dennis pet sounds ... (ok i made the pet sounds thing up!!) We were all named after the song that was palying in our pub at the exact moment we were born. my dad used to remove all the records that wernt beach boys records from the juke box two weeks before mums due date! but he accidently left 'goobye ruby tuesday' by melanie soemone or other when mel was being born! ha ah dont fork out on expensive gifts, the best thing to get a 21 year old boy for a birthady is a 21 year old girl!!tell him to go wild an have fun 21 is an ace age! but i bet you alreay tell him that! x
If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you! | |
| 1 Dec 08, 10:50 AM Littleboots UK(B), 6 yrs  |
Cracking blog. Gave me a giggle on a Monday morning, thanks. A dirty mind is a joy for life. | |
| 1 Dec 08, 10:56 AM Talullah_Red 3 yrs |
glad to have made someone giggle! MY FRIDGE FREEZER ARRIVIED! JUST NOW HURRAH! its not doing much just sat there in a box, lazy fridge freezer! i am going to call him Luke (after the film cool hand Luke) its not as fun as a pair of shoes though.... badges? I don't need no stinking badges!!!! | |
| 1 Dec 08, 11:10 AM LaRouge UK(L), 7 yrs |
You dont need a fridge right now its 'kin freezing! I don't want to be anyones girlfriend, I want to be EVERYONES!... | |
| 1 Dec 08, 12:26 PM Talullah_Red 3 yrs |
its a good job! ive just wasted the last hour playing with the polystreene and jumping in an out of the rather humerously large carbord box!! great fun, but i have to pop out now and ive been so busy messing around i havent set it up!! ha ha love days off! badges? I don't need no stinking badges!!!! | |
| 1 Dec 08, 1:12 PM LaRouge UK(L), 7 yrs |
Just as well, think your supposed to wait 24 hrs before you switch it on...
I don't want to be anyones girlfriend, I want to be EVERYONES!... |
