This post is on the Stoke-on-Trent (ST) topics page and the BDSM Events web board.
| Sun 30 Nov 08, 11:06 AM rj4082 UK(ST), 4 yrs |
Hi, Any help or advice? What do peole feel about older males? I am 60 and on the shy side. (Tend to be a wallflower at events.) I've been to some munches, events and used/ answered personals but find no one is interested in oldies on the scene especially if not in a couple. Do any couples, single women, men, clubs etc. welcome amd make contact? We do have needs as well? What has been your experience. I am sure there are others like me. Thanks | |
| 30 Nov 08, 11:20 AM Ms_Tytania 7 yrs |
Before we all start replying the usual platitudes about age being irrelevant, and that everybody look for different things including older people - etc, etc, let me tell you something: it is relevant, unfortunately. You are in an age group that is less common here than, say, people in their thirties and forties. But very young people in the scene have the same problem as you: there aren't so many late teen to early twenties members here. They often post about that too. You say that you go to munches and events. That's half of your shyness out of the way, at least you go and make the effort to be seen out and about. People sometimes post here whingeing about not being capable of meeting anyone, when they are in fact expecting amazing people and the perfect patner to materialise themselves in their front room, without the need to go out there and meet others. All I can advise you is that you continue going to events and make more of an effort at meeting people and getting to know them. Don't get put off by those who don't show an instant interest in you: we don't find absolutely everybody fascinating, but you will find the right friends in the end. It's trial and error. It's taken all of us a long time to find the right crowd for us, it doesn't happen overnight, and that has nothing to do with age. Good luck. I'm a Genuine Fake. | |
| 30 Nov 08, 11:20 AM kinkymistressclaire UK, 5 yrs £  |
Hi,
Where in the uk are you? your profile just says uk, and could I suggest you add a photo to your profile then if people see you out and about on the scene they'll probably say hi if they've seen your message on here. We'll be at Madame Caramel's club night on wednesday if you're based in London. Mistress Claire.
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| 30 Nov 08, 11:23 AM codger UK(L), 4 yrs |
I'm 73 and have the usual difficulties that come with age including wrinkles and stiffness but going to munches and clubs gets you known and,presuming you have a personality and gsoh, then you will have little trouble making friends and getting play participation....admittedly we oldies have a disadvantage on line in that the perception is that you resemble a dried prune.....so get out and prove that you are not....and stop feeling sorry for yourself. | |
| 30 Nov 08, 11:24 AM princess_tia 3 yrs |
You ought to correct your profile, it says you are 57
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| 30 Nov 08, 11:33 AM Ms_Tytania 7 yrs |
I have the feeling all our replies, help and best intentions are going to be lost in him: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/177531/0/... I wish the OP good luck, but I think his problem is with self-perception, not with those pesky young'uns who wouldn't move a finger for anything else than Brad Pitt... Deja vu anyone?
I'm a Genuine Fake. | |
| 30 Nov 08, 11:35 AM englishh UK(PR), 8 yrs  |
Well I am just a very few years younger than you, and I also have some "personal circumstances" issues (see my profile) which put some off. Despite this, I have made many friends through IC, and experienced many of the things I suspect you are looking for. It has been a long journey however, and we start behind some others. You really need to show people, both online and in real life, that you have a personality and are good company. The rest will follow. You do need a profile, and you could try posting on the web boards and coming into the chatroom. People who I chat to can see what sort of person I am by reading my posts and blogs. People who meet me can see what sort of person I am for themselves. As in real life, if they like what they see and hear they will become friends with you. Go out looking for friendship with people who have similar interest which include bdsm, don't go out looking for a "play partner". Sending unsolicited memos on here is usually a waste of time for all male subs, and we don't have a sexy profile picture and a body to die for either, so you could save some time by not going down that route! Add a geographical area to your profile and you may find people will encourage you to come to local events and meet them to chat. | |
| 30 Nov 08, 11:45 AM sardax UK, 6 yrs |
In the words of Jane Russell in "The French Line"-"it ain't the age-it's the attitude!" | |
| 30 Nov 08, 11:52 PM KinkyRoly UK(OX), 3 yrs |
Our play parties attract a very wide age range of guests including some who are older than the OP. They're very welcome because they know how to behave and have a much better idea of who they are and what they want. We often get people who are initially shy. The funny thing is that after half an hour or so, it's often difficult to remember which ones were supposed to be the shy ones ! Our guests tend to be much more interested in the personalities rather than the age or experience of guests. Obviously some will only want to play with those of a comparable age, but most make judgements using other factors. |
