This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 11 Jun 09, 7:12 PM Tartful_dodger UK, 2 yrs |
Some people find the idea of cutting utterly outside the realms of what is realistic. Others find the idea of scarring outside of what is realistic. Some people would think that scarring someone's face is outside the realms of what is realistic. I think that Foibey's point that 'implicit' limits aren't the same as no limits is very valid. For me I tend to think that no limits is synonymous with 'no imagination' Tartful | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 7:27 PM curvy_bottom UK(M), 8 yrs  |
Errmm - before, during AND after, please!
loved, lost; found, loved | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 8:13 PM Juxtaposition  UK(IP), 2 yrs  |
This is an interesting thread! I quite agree that "no limits" play is probably a Holy Grail of BDSM - I think "no safeword" is more a realistic goal. I just cannot imagine any situation where I personally would ever agree to no limits play, because there have to be some limits, such as no serious injuries, permanent marks etc. As for "no safeword" this is something I am exploring, but only within a trusting environment where some hard limits have been set. The idea of no limits is quite an potent fantasy however, a bit like 24/7 - sounds great on paper but maybe not for reality. | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 8:27 PM chartreuse UK(BA), 6 yrs  |
"In reality" I know I'm a safe/sane person but I like to take control... some people seem to make far too much of the "no-limits specified" edict... my hard-limits are: NO - blood (except menstrual blood), permanent damage, guns, breath-play, scat, harsh/judicial beatings or any of the extreme acts that some like to carry out (they're not difficult things to avoid). For me, D/s is not only about control of the sub but also of myself, I have absolutely no desire to do anyone any harm, myself included. "Truth is stranger than fiction." | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 8:38 PM Masterstroke UK(WF), 7 yrs  |
No limits play is readily achievable but it takes time, patience and understanding. In all my relationships, safe words have gone by the by, but it has taken time for me to fully understand the sub. The other exciting aspect of this is to see what were once Hard limits eroded to the point of nothing. To see the look on a subs face to have overcome what was once a taboo for them, being a true delight. Make each Stroke count, it might just be your last | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 9:00 PM fearfreak UK, 2 yrs |
why is it always about teaching, or learning or growing as a person?? does no one else just enjoy the thrill (even if it is before or after the act) of simply suffering and enduring? (or as a Dom/me putting someone in that scenario?) kx | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 9:11 PM DaddysTouch UK(RG), 3 yrs |
Oh yes. Nothing like scaring the crap out of someone, hurting someone, doing violence to them, putting them in that shocked, whimpering, sobbing, freaked out headspace... Putting her through something, making her take it, suffer it, without possibility of relenting, where she knows there's no escape, no options, just enduring it, letting the storm pass. I don't think that, in and of itself, is teaching or growing. Growing closer together perhaps. But mostly it's just damn good fun. What men in all the world have shown such daring? Edited 11 Jun 09, 9:14 PM by DaddysTouch | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 9:15 PM BooteDom UK(NR), 6 yrs |
What we are really talking about is the sub having no limits.Now that is fine just so long as s/he is playing with a Dom/me who has some.As has been already touched on in this thread the crucial thing here is trust.If a Dom declares there will be no limits and then proceeds to just take what he wants regardless of the sub that is a recipe for disaster and amounts to abuse. I take time to discover what a subs personal likes and dislikes are before I consent to meeting.There is absolutely no point if,for example,the sub says no bondage and that is my favourite activity.We just have to accept that we are incompatible and both find someone else. Once common ground has been established however it is comparably easy to work out a scene that does it for both. There doesn't need to be limits or safewords because an intelligent Dom can work that out as he goes and thereby create a spontaneous and fulfilling session that gives mutual pleasure. I always "debrief" after a session,either face to face over a coffee or by mail while the experience is fresh in the mind.I have found that this works well. | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 9:25 PM X_Gordon_X UK, 3 yrs |
I think... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2v7ot3cm0o&featu... | ||
| 11 Jun 09, 11:45 PM Mr_Brightside UK(NN), 4 yrs |
Wow, I haven't seen that video in ages, I used to have a massive crush on her back in my teenage years, quality stuff and top choon (lol). Christianity: One womans lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand... |
