This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 3 Nov 08, 4:24 PM Katena UK(M), 7 yrs   |
And in here you are stating that actually...you do have limits!....
I completley agree.... But..i dont think some people can think outside of the box. I think the term 'no limits' is one that comes with sexy-ness/dangerous under currents and some think it makes you look good by saying you have 'no limits'. I say its rubbish!!! Everyone has limits....Whether they are unspoken agreements that have built up over time and trust with your Dominant..or whether they were negotiated or evn just plain given/stated. If in a scene the sub completly says 'no/f*ck off/end the scene/red' etc then im 100% certain the Majority of Doms would stop. Because after all they are mainly sane people who dont want to do harm. It is the sub that holds the power at the end of the day...and this is why 'mind fucks' dont work or me...or even scenarios like a 'set up abduction'. Because i *know* that if i said enough generic safe words it would stop! K I've ran out of sick days...so i'm calling in dead Edited 3 Nov 08, 4:28 PM by Katena | ||
| 3 Nov 08, 5:28 PM Mistress_Avralivia UK(RG), 4 yrs £ |
To me no limits means not having your own limits anymore, it means you take on your dominants limits. Most dominants arent completely callous evil hardhearted bastards after all... umm... *thinks* Well anyway they arent going to do anything that would mess up your life/looks/emotional&physical wellbeing just for their kicks, not if they care about you, and who on earth lets someone who doesnt care about them do edgeplay or worse? Which is why no limits/safewords is usually the domain of people in a relationship. Senno Ekto Gamat | ||
| 3 Nov 08, 6:49 PM Kitoko_Kenshi 3 yrs |
OK, first off, let me state my opinions on "No Limits Play". (I'm sure I don't have to point out that subsequent flaming in reaction to my post is completely idiotic and unnecessary since the OP has deliberately asked for 'how others felt' about the subject.) I believe that No Limits Play does not and cannot exist. Hear me out. Can you think of anyone, truly, who does not have a single limit... ever? BDSM is all about Safe, Sane and Consensual (Yes, I know about this trendy new RACK thing too, but you get the point), yet I've heard of Dominants who knock their subs unconscious in order to use them in whichever way they choose. Is that REALLY safe? Is it sane? I'm sure you can argue the point for the consensual factor, but that's a moot point if the other requirements are being ignored. Hell, I could implore my Dom to take 5 litres of my blood and then inject me with heroin but that's neither safe nor sane, is it? No Limits Play is a preposterous idea. In what situation can you truly say you do not mind ANYTHING being done to you, physically, mentally or emotionally? And with whom? The point is, the people who advocate this as something real are those who imagine a perfect world in which No Limits Play exists. What these people want in actual fact is a Dom with good intent who would never do anything insane or unsafe, and so they don't have to worry about excessive bloodletting, loss of consciousness, or death because their Dom would NEVER do any of these things. I'm sure most Doms wouldn't. But the point is, you cannot completely remove limits from the equation. If you claim to, you are accepting the possibility that any of these things might happen to you (and more besides). Your other questions addresses a very different attitude. If you truly believed in No Limits Play then a safeword is redundant. I personally would never use one, simply because I want a relationship with a Dom who understands and accepts my limits, but not using a safeword is *not* the same thing as observing No Limits Play. Similarly, danger excites me, yes, in the sense that within the limits prescribed, my Dom has free reign to do whatever he chooses as often as he wishes and as roughly as he wants, but again, this is *not* the same thing as No Limits Play. I hope that that went some way to answering your confusion. | ||
| 3 Nov 08, 6:59 PM Katena UK(M), 7 yrs |
*clap clap clap* lovely post....100% agree and you made your point realy well!! k I've ran out of sick days...so i'm calling in dead | ||
| 27 May 09, 10:55 AM Canedman UK(TR), 3 yrs |
Trust would have to be the biggest factor,but surely only a true masochist could get anything from "no limits" play! Thank you Mistress. | ||
| 27 May 09, 11:02 AM CookieMonster UK, 6 yrs |
Safewords are for wimps. | ||
| 10 Jun 09, 3:44 PM Bellatrix_LeStrange UK, 6 yrs |
Isnt that topping from the bottom? Dictating which type of play you will endure... http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/westlondonmunch/ | ||
| 10 Jun 09, 4:11 PM firemynx_B UK(B), 10 yrs |
I have limits because I am human. I have a safe word because I have a responsibility also within this relationship to let Badg know there is a problem. I have a safeword. Not because I don't trust Badg, in fact quite the opposite, he is one of the very few people I could literally lay my life in his hands. But in doing that, I have a responsibility within this relationship too. To communicate any issues that could affect how he acts or reacts. Even given Badg is incredibly good at reading my reactions, If I am still more likely to know of something that is going to cause a problem to me physically or mentally before he does, because it's *my* body. He is not psychic, he is not a god, he is human like anyone else, and thus more than capable of missing something (especially if it is something new!) I don't feel they should be used to get you out of something you just don't feel like doing, I think that can raise as much a trust issue as not using them at all. But using one does not make me feel a failure, and happily so, I have found out that once the problem has been dealt with it does not mean that play *has* to stop, which has also been another concern of mine in the past. For instance, when playing with Badg, I was stood up, restrained and I felt faint. He undid me, lay me down on the floor, and once checked that the initial problem was resolved, was able (as we both wanted) to carry on. So it's not a deal breaker at all. So, in reflection, safewords are important to me, they give me a quick way to communicate there's a problem, they give Badg reassurance that he knows I will raise the alarm if there is a problem, so is less likely to “go gently” on me. They give me the opportunity within our dynamic to reassess my personal limits and abilities, and accept them, without adding a label of failure to them. They give Badg the opportunity to fix the problem and decide what happens next. I'll admit I have cobbled together this from my LJ, as I wrote it some weeks ago, so have used the relevant bits! "Dear Santa ........ I can explain!" | ||
| 10 Jun 09, 4:15 PM IndelibleMarker UK(E), 6 yrs   |
I don't personally believe "no limits play" really exists. Certainly not legally or without murder anyway  I think you can come come close and the Dominant party dictate the ending point of a scene. But that is often effected by the feedback communication given by the submissive. Even a lack of reaction is a form of communication... In fact, it's potentially a stronger form of communication than struggling because it might mean they're unconscious!! Tuam Matrem Feci Edited 10 Jun 09, 4:17 PM by IndelibleMarker |
