Natural Born Sellers (0)

spirifer's profile

Posted by spirifer on Fri 31 Oct 08, 12:37 PM

How could I have missed this gem up to now? Last night, after getting so incensed at Question Time broadcast from Washington (apparently the standard of political debate in the run up to the election of the most powerful man in the world is “Sarah Palin is great – she *has* got experience!” Audience screams and whoops. “No, Obama is great – he *has* got experience too!” More screaming and whooping…), I was channel-hopping and came across Natural Born Sellers.

Imagine The Apprentice being the Waitrose organic brand of reality business show. This is the Morrisons basics range reality business show. It is the lowest common denominator in the world of 'sales' you can get. The contestants stay in a Travelodge between episodes, apparently. If you win the episode's challenge, your 'treat' is to drive the program's Lexus motor car for the next week. Yes, it really is that bad.

The four remaining contestants were:

Thea – appeared to be drunk or on drugs most of the time. Frightened bemused middle-aged men into buying cleaning products by wearing a revealing cut-off shirt and cleaning extremely enthusiastically.

Danny – scarily reminiscent of a young Warren Clarke; a man clearly fond of chunky gold jewellery. Overcome with emotion on being allowed to drive the show's Lexus.

Anne-Marie – appeared to be dying of some awful lurgy and was constantly accused by the shiny-faced, wonky-eyed Sarah of being lazy. Despite having a hacking cough and the loudest nose-blowing ever recorded by woman, she rasped out enough phone calls to come second and beat the weirdo Gavin and the scary Thea.

Gavin – his idea of salesmanship is to dress up as a large fluorescent cleaning sponge with a face, and leap out at unsuspecting members of the public, shouting “Hellllooooo! Do you want to help me save the planet?” Looked more like someone on day release or a care in the community program than a salesman.

Danny won the selling cleaning products challenge, and fired Thea, who managed to walk into the door frame on her way out of the Travelodge conference room.

I haven't had an asthma attack laughing at TV for some time. It's the final next week – I shall be armed with inhalers, but I can't wait!


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