On Being Submissive (25)

For the last year or so, most of my play has been as a Domme or Top, and I've had very little play as a sub. Until recently that is. I had some friends over a few weeks ago, and played at Oblivion, and both times I was in a submissive role. (YEAH!)

I find it really interesting to look at my own need to be submissive, and to try and understand it from the perspective of someone looking in from the outside. I have a vey strong inner need to serve. I've always had it, and have known about it since I was a teenager. OK, back then it took on a different form, and wasn't so much about sex or D/s. But it is a part of who I am, my core makeup. I get immense pleasure from serving the people I care about.

Because of this, I know I could never be 'the Domme' in a relationship. I can be Domme during play, but not 24/7. Outside of play the relationship would have to be equal. However, I believe I could easily be 'the sub' in a relationship, even if that sub role extended outside of play time. No, let me rephrase that. Especially if that sub role extended outside of play time.

In my previous post on the topic of 24/7 relationships, someone said it nicely by saying a 24/7 D/s relationship is about power imbalance. (back to my wording now) Doesn't mean the people aren't equals, or that their emotions and desires aren't equally met, but that the power and the decision making, is slightly imbalanced. In my mind, being submissive doesn't lower me below being human, but is just the role I would have in the relationship. No less important than the Domme's role, because what is a Domme or Dom without a sub?

The thought of kneeling before my Mistress makes my heart race. The image of pleasing her, of meeting her needs, of bringing her joy makes me happy and feel fulfilled. I suppose the aspect that I find interesting is: How is it that giving so much in this way makes me feel fulfilled? Why do I find it so rewarding to be obedient to another person? I would even say I need that aspect in my life in order to feel complete.

So, I suppose I have a couple of questions for discussion:

1. Do other subs feel this way, as I'm sure you do, but how do you explain it?

2. What do the Domme's feel and get out of this level of submission?

Now. Just need to find the right Domme who can appreciate what I have to offer.

Back to work now. Pen

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.

I too, over the last year have sepnt a great deal of time personally playing as Domme, but could never be in a long term relationship as one. I am totally happy in my role as sub and owned slave to my Master.

I have also wondered about this 'split' in my bdsm personality. I find it frustrating that often I end up Domming more than subbing, but hope to conquer this with specific session time put aside for me to just be sub. (The domming comes about mostly with couples we play with who want the femsub dommed by both of us, or by me alone as part of play)

I have come to the conclusion, at the moment as things tend to change we all develop,that i can actually only sub to one person, my Master. Which is logical as he owns me and is the person, the only person in fact, who has control over my life. The rest of the time I am a Domme! So does that make me a switch? No, cos I only sub to one Dom. Complicated?? Very.

I too love to be sat at my Master's feet and serve him in any way I can. In fact as I don't do it as much as I did when we first met, it has an extra touch of devotion as it's a special thing now. My Master actually appreciates it more as he knows that I could, if I chose, be Domme all the time. I choose to be sub to him and serve him.

This works for me, probabaly wouldn't work for others, and to be fair I try not to think about it too much, cos i just get a big tension headache trying to work out what pigeon hole I should live in! So why bother... I have many sides and enjoy my freedom to be many people.

Not sure if these were the answers you were seeking...

Edited 22 Oct 08, 1:36 PM by master_and_mephisto

I certainly wouldn't post from work, that is if I had a job

Why be religious when you can worship a Goddess for real.

Erm, says who? Whilst that may be true of psychological (non-BDSM) submissiveness, it's not true for the majority of BDSM submissives that I know.

I'm accepted and wanted and loved and all that good stuff in other areas of my life, but BDSM submission is what makes my bits tingle.

judy

Madam_Amba wrote: Watch out judys bits are tingling

Oh I wished

judy

Just one of the perks of being your own boss - you have your own internet connection at work. One of the downsides, I'm now home but still have work to do.

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.

There is no confused association of ideas as far as i'm concerned. I'm a submissive because that is my natural inclination and that's not something I can change.

I am not at all confused, I don't need it to feel wanted/loved etc.. it might sound arrogant, but that stuff is much easier for me to find.. however its the submission I NEED to get my bits a'tingling - so in that sense I need do need it to feel complete. Cos getting my bits tingling is a very important thing for me, however shallow that may be!