24/7 or not?? (64)

Moved from SM/Bondage/Fetish

This post is on the Ipswich (IP) topics page and the D/s Relationships web board.

Wed 15 Oct 08, 5:35 PM
penwiggle
UK(IP), 2 yrs

I've always fantasied about being in a 24/7 D/s relationship. I'm not going to get into a discussion here about if it really exists, if it is possible, etc. etc. That has been done to death.
I was chatting this morning to someone who's been in one before, and how great it was. No, I didn't say perfect, nor was it wasn't a constant bed of roses, there were tough times - but isn't that true with any relationship?
OK, I know the first step in living this dream would be to find a partner, not any partner, but a lesbian/bi Domme partner. (It would take an extremely rare man indeed to entice me into a relationship him. In fact, I don't think such a man exists - sorry guys.)
But once I had that person in my life, would I be willing to give up my independence and submit 24/7? Is the reality as good as the fantasy?
I suppose for the right person, yes.
What do you think? What have been your 24/7 experiences?
I think what turns me on most about the fantasy is constantly having the other person in my mind. Checking every action against what I'm allowed, or not allowed, to do. In short, having my life controlled. The fear of when I get something wrong, the buzz from the reward when I get it right. Also having my boundaries pushed, being forced to try different things regardless if I like them or not.
Pen
I'm not a switch, just a Libra
The world is more interesting when seen from both sides.
What can go wrong, usually will.
What can't go wrong is more shocking when it does.

15 Oct 08, 5:41 PM
Cliodna
UK, 6 mths
Y!
I think just finding someone who wants YOU 24/7 is hard enough without the D/s dynamic.
Most people just want someone now n again, weekends only or when noone else is about.
I lived with a Dom but I do not consider the D/s 24/7...I'm far too much hard work for anyone to bother putting that much effort in lol, but with the best will in the world occasionaly i don;t want to be thinking about serving all the time, I believe I deserve some me time too and although "he" could dictate that it wouldnt be the same self satisfying feel as me waking and thining, "sod this i want a duvet n chocolate day"
In a fantasy Id love it....reality I personaly couldn't sustain it and end up losing the Dominant in my life altogether.
"come to bed, don't make me sleep alone"

15 Oct 08, 5:43 PM
penwiggle
UK(IP), 2 yrs

astaroth99 wrote:
I think just finding someone who wants YOU 24/7 is hard enough without the D/s dynamic.
Most people just want someone now n again, weekends only or when noone else is about.
I lived with a Dom but I do not consider the D/s 24/7...I'm far too much hard work for anyone to bother putting that much effort in lol, but with the best will in the world occasionaly i don;t want to be thinking about serving all the time, I believe I deserve some me time too and although "he" could dictate that it wouldnt be the same self satisfying feel as me waking and thining, "sod this i want a duvet n chocolate day"
In a fantasy Id love it....reality I personaly couldn't sustain it and end up losing the Dominant in my life altogether.
Good points, well presented.
I'm not a switch, just a Libra
The world is more interesting when seen from both sides.
What can go wrong, usually will.
What can't go wrong is more shocking when it does.

16 Oct 08, 4:23 PM
leatherbound
UK, 3 mths Hi
Me and my Dom had two weeks off work and hired a remote cottage and tried 24/7. We lasted four days of pure D/s 24/7. It was really tough. I slept on the floor under a blanket, ate and drank what and when he said etc. etc. and was at his beck and call for whatever, mainly pain.He felt himself descending into a place in his head he didn't really like. I thought i might lose my mind too! It all got far too intense so we backed off and had a wonderful rest of the holiday still scening but going out and doing other things too.
L

16 Oct 08, 4:25 PM
TheFalconer
UK(S), 3 yrs

I think, like a lot of things within BDSM, it does come down to definitions a bit! My girl and I live 24/7 D/s - but that doesn't mean she sleeps on the floor. Ours is a loving relationship with a power imbalance, rather than "The Story of O"
"Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde

16 Oct 08, 4:29 PM
Keeperofthewench
UK(EH), 3 yrs
There are many aspects to the D/s dynamic, for me the element of control being exercised even when I'm not present is exhilarating, however as with any relationship it can't all be service and discipline, there has to be the nurturing element which as far as I'm concerned is where everything stems from anyway.
In D/s there are so many dark places that you HAVE to come out into the light to achieve a level of perspective, otherwise you may well get lost.
Remember no relationship comes with a sat nav
He's not Judge Judy and executioner

16 Oct 08, 4:39 PM
Grownup_Frankie
11 mths
24/7 is often be a matter of nuance for me, rather than high protocol scene setting. The presence of the bell on the table that is used to summon me. My wife using the floor as a bin, so that I am required to pick her rubbish up. Instructions regarding cleaning tasks. Inspections to see if these meet with the high standards expected. Little things that inform a mood, or spirit, that feeds my soul the whole day through. Some would glance in at my life and see no signs of a 24/7 D/S dynamic, they would see no whips or canes. They'de dismiss the flyswats, boomerang and omelette turner as mere household items.

We're damned if we do and damned if we don't...So we might as well do.

16 Oct 08, 4:41 PM
Grownup_Frankie
11 mths
Well, alright, maybe not the boomerang. They'de see that and say, 'oh, have you been down under?'
And I'd say, 'yes, regularly', with an innocent smile.
We're damned if we do and damned if we don't...So we might as well do.

16 Oct 08, 4:52 PM
Jonssub
UK(TF), 7 yrs

24/7, if you are married you are married 24/7, so whats the hoo haa about being D/s 24/7?
It is not sleeping on the floor, walking backwards out of rooms or anything else. Its living by the rules/ standards you Dom/me sets for you.
If there is not a rule then its doing what you think they would want or expect from you. Or at least the best you can.
You can have an extremely affectionate, loving relationship and still be D/s M/s whatever.
The desire to please and a little thought is what it takes.
A good Dom/me nurtures, protects and guides more than they punish etc. Most subs, bottoms, slaves respond much more readily to praise and encouragement. (unless you thing is public/ private humilation of course )
I don't stop being Jon's when he walks out the door, any more than he stops being mine.
A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. [Nietzsche]
Bid for a sub

16 Oct 08, 5:00 PM
P_and_s
2 yrs
TheFalconer wrote:
I think, like a lot of things within BDSM, it does come down to definitions a bit! My girl and I live 24/7 D/s - but that doesn't mean she sleeps on the floor. Ours is a loving relationship with a power imbalance, rather than "The Story of O"
Totally agree.
I think the OP to some extent,and probably even moreso the post by 'leatherbound' fall into the trap of confusing S/m play with D/s.
Jonssub also puts the whole thing very well and to paraphrase, "susie doesn't stop being mine ( or me hers) when I walk out the door."
Philip
To grow old is mandatory. To grow up is optional

16 Oct 08, 5:07 PM
penwiggle
UK(IP), 2 yrs

DomRoss wrote:
There are many aspects to the D/s dynamic, for me the element of control being exercised even when I'm not present is exhilarating, however as with any relationship it can't all be service and discipline, there has to be the nurturing element which as far as I'm concerned is where everything stems from anyway.
In D/s there are so many dark places that you HAVE to come out into the light to achieve a level of perspective, otherwise you may well get lost.
Remember no relationship comes with a sat nav
Very well said, I like that (about the sat nav and about coming out into the light).
I also agree with your first paragraph. I don't see it as a life where you are constantly under someone's thumb, being flogged left-right-and-centre and treated as a dog. But a life where there is always a sense of control, a mind set of 'what can I do today to please my Master/Mistress'. OK, yes, I'm that way in any relationship, always thinking of what I can do for my lover, but it takes on a different flavour when there is a power imbalance.
I'm not a switch, just a Libra

Next page


	©1997-2009 Informed Consent