Sheesh - how easy to ruffle feathers. (12)

Cuteprincess's profile

Cuteprincess
Posted by Cuteprincess on Mon 13 Oct 08, 8:21 PM

Tags: Swindon (SN)

I wrote a weblog last night about some rather disturbing public play I witnessed. Boy what a can of worms that opened! I cannot believe how many feathers I managed to ruffle. The thing is, I could understand it, maybe, if I had named names, or if anything I wrote was untrue, but that wasn't the case. The comments came in thick and fast, and generally, the tone was either cynical or patronising or both. Which in itself, is quite disturbing. Disturbing that I was somehow mistaken with what I, and several others witnessed, and disturbing that without actually coming out and saying it, the implication being that the scene that occured was, in some way, to be condoned and accepted.

It appears that the scene I thought I was involved in, all these years, clearly isn't the same scene that other "lifestylers" participate in. I assumed, clearly wrongly, that we all had something in common, and that certainly unity could be expected and received, when something is written about or witnessed, that is clearly not right. Well I got that one wrong! I'm clearly at fault here; I don't operate on assumptions or suppositions, never have. In fact I don't operate that way in my vanilla life, so why the hell would I, in BDSM? And, sad as I am, 99% of the time, when reading posts on here or replying, I tend to read profiles, before I make any comments to see what people define their roles as, check their status, etc. The reason for this? Quite simple, really. If I have facts to hand, I run much less risk of making myself look a prat. I am, therefore, INFORMED.

Alas, I did make one assumption, the assumption that others did the same.

Replies

13 Oct 08, 8:37 PM
Panzuzu
3 yrs Or, to put it another way; "how dare you all have opinions that run contrary to mine."
You are apparently accountable for things you write, and subject to others right of reply. I think your internet is broken. Have a word with your ISP. Or maybe swap your laptop for an etch-a-sketch.
(It's only the web, don't take it all so serious!)

13 Oct 08, 8:54 PM
Oggy33
UK(BS), 4 mths
Y!
hiya cuteprincess the reason for my reply here is that the comments u was getting was aimed at u for not seeing a DM but seeing that u and ur dom are very knowledgeable and expereniced u would have done that if there was one at the time, but i think u was getting at the fact of how the dom was treating his sub and that u thought he should have done that in a private area not a public one for anyone to see, seeing that newbies watch these dungeon's and think this is how things are meant to be done. I would just like to point out that i was that newbie Dom with my sub that you was talking about and i have to admit if you was not there with your Dom/Master then we would have been in two minds on if that sort of play was correct and would have been none the wiser about stopping it, we was glad that you two was there to talk this matter through with us and to set our minds at ease that this sort of thing should not happen, every one plays differently but if this was there sort of play like you said it should have been kept to private play where newbies like ourselves can not witness it.

13 Oct 08, 9:06 PM
Sweetiejar
UK(S), 8 yrs
I read the other blog with increasing concern.
I dont think the responses were cynical and patronising though... its always difficult to know the context of type speech. Very difficult to tell how something is said.
IMNSHO you jumped a bit hard on some of the responses and that led to the ruffling of feathers, not the content of your blog. The blog itself was sound and very disturbing, though as many people have said it may well have been previously agreed behaviour.
However a DM should ALWAYS be present when play is happening in a 'club' type environment, thats why there is usually more than one.

Sweetiejar
The more you sweat in practice...the less you bleed in battle.
www.chesterfieldconclave.com

13 Oct 08, 9:10 PM
Panzuzu
3 yrs
Sweetiejar wrote:
I read the other blog with increasing concern.
I dont think the responses were cynical and patronising though... its always difficult to know the context of type speech. Very difficult to tell how something is said.
IMNSHO you jumped a bit hard on some of the responses and that led to the ruffling of feathers, not the content of your blog. The blog itself was sound and very disturbing, though as many people have said it may well have been previously agreed behaviour.
However a DM should ALWAYS be present when play is happening in a 'club' type environment, thats why there is usually more than one.

Succinct, and perceptive.

13 Oct 08, 9:17 PM
Cuteprincess
UK(SN), 21 mths

Here's a new and original concept for you - step away from that keyboard, stop being such a keyboard jockey, and try and experience the real world, which exists approximately 25-30 feet away from your cyber existence. Go ahead, give it a go, you might even find you like it. In fact, it might be even better than trolling, and getting your sad little kicks from having to resort to obscenities. You claim to be bright. Has no one ever told you that if you have to resort to insults, you've either a) completely lost the argument, and/or b) have a marked lack of vocabulary. Bless ya. You're boring me now.

Panzuzu wrote:
Or, to put it another way; "how dare you all have opinions that run contrary to mine."
You are apparently accountable for things you write, and subject to others right of reply. I think your internet is broken. Have a word with your ISP. Or maybe swap your laptop for an etch-a-sketch.
(It's only the web, don't take it all so serious!)

13 Oct 08, 9:18 PM
Sweetiejar
UK(S), 8 yrs

Oggy33 wrote:
every one plays differently but if this was there sort of play like you said it should have been kept to private play where newbies like ourselves can not witness it.
Sorry, but you are going to witness play that you find disturbing anywhere there are serious experienced players.
I dont mean that in any sort of patronising way, but as newbies there are things that you will see that may seem very harsh, very 'over the top'. That doesnt mean that you will be expected to do them or have them done to you. Its just the way that some people play and its right for them.
Sweetiejar
The more you sweat in practice...the less you bleed in battle.
www.chesterfieldconclave.com

13 Oct 08, 9:22 PM
Panzuzu
3 yrs
Cuteprincess wrote:
Here's a new and original concept for you - step away from that keyboard, stop being such a keyboard jockey, and try and experience the real world, which exists approximately 25-30 feet away from your cyber existence. Go ahead, give it a go, you might even find you like it. In fact, it might be even better than trolling, and getting your sad little kicks from having to resort to obscenities. You claim to be bright. Has no one ever told you that if you have to resort to insults, you've either a) completely lost the argument, and/or b) have a marked lack of vocabulary. Bless ya. You're boring me now.

To summarise;
1) Anyone who disagrees with me is a troll. 2) Insults are bad. Except baseless, tired and trite implications about my enemies being a shut in. 3) How dare you try and be clever by being more articulate and logical then I am.
I suspect, no matter how bored you are, we can re-engage your attention with a shiny object.
(I didn't even disagree with your original point, for fucks sake!)
Edited 13 Oct 08, 9:23 PM by Panzuzu

13 Oct 08, 9:26 PM
Cuteprincess
UK(SN), 21 mths

Sweetiejar, I so agree that a DM is a definite necessity with events such as this. What can I say? I was only watching! I did jump hard on a few, but in my defence, when you're typing, "There was no DM",for what feels like several hundred times, it gets a little repetitive!! And yes, I agree, not always easy to convey tone, when you only have the written word to go on. However, one or two of the responses, I still feel were a little patronising.
I have since addressed the previously agreed behaviour, but the whole basis of the post was that to any observer, this appeared unsafe play. And the Dom's attitude after play, quite frankly was totally uncaring. That post seems to have gained legs and just run on it's own. I was highlighting what I still maintain, was a potentially dangerous situation, and the whole thing seems to have escalated, with everyone going off topic. One of the hazards of posting publicly, I guess. Thanks for your comments, anyway.

Sweetiejar wrote:
I read the other blog with increasing concern.
I dont think the responses were cynical and patronising though... its always difficult to know the context of type speech. Very difficult to tell how something is said.
IMNSHO you jumped a bit hard on some of the responses and that led to the ruffling of feathers, not the content of your blog. The blog itself was sound and very disturbing, though as many people have said it may well have been previously agreed behaviour.
However a DM should ALWAYS be present when play is happening in a 'club' type environment, thats why there is usually more than one.

13 Oct 08, 9:30 PM
Cuteprincess
UK(SN), 21 mths

Sweetiejar, there is no doubt, that play WAS disturbing. I am no newbie, and my Master certainly isn't. However, we are both of one mind on this. And please, understand, it wasn't the play per se, that was the problem. It was the fact that that particular sub was not in a good condition, and the Dom with her ignored her requests. THAT was the disturbing factor.

Sweetiejar wrote:

Oggy33 wrote:
every one plays differently but if this was there sort of play like you said it should have been kept to private play where newbies like ourselves can not witness it.
Sorry, but you are going to witness play that you find disturbing anywhere there are serious experienced players.
I dont mean that in any sort of patronising way, but as newbies there are things that you will see that may seem very harsh, very 'over the top'. That doesnt mean that you will be expected to do them or have them done to you. Its just the way that some people play and its right for them.

13 Oct 08, 9:31 PM
Panzuzu
3 yrs
Cuteprincess wrote:
Sweetiejar, there is no doubt, that play WAS disturbing. I am no newbie, and my Master certainly isn't. However, we are both of one mind on this. And please, understand, it wasn't the play per se, that was the problem. It was the fact that that particular sub was not in a good condition, and the Dom with her ignored her requests. THAT was the disturbing factor.
Nor would I disagree with anything you said there.
Everyone on this thread needs to either have a fist fight, or fuck each other. Either way, calm down people.

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