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| alexandraa |
Tags: North West London (NW)
I've been running a course on leadership skills the last couple of weekends, yesterday one of the trainers was doing a piece on responsibility. You had to think of situations where you give up responsibility. In an everyday work/life situation this is about nil for me. Sexually of course a great many thoughts sprung to mind but nothing I was going to share with anyone. In the end I managed to come up with being a passenger on an aeroplane. People assumed I had a fear of flying, no, I don't, I just don't think about where I am or what could happen while I'm doing it but I don't mind flying at all.
I can't say being shoved into a crowded situation with people I don't know and with no ability to escape for several hours is an experience I enjoy either. However when in that situation you have to give up responsibility for your own safety to someone else. There are of course plenty of things you can do about your own behaviour but at the end of the day, the control of where you are and where you will end up, sits with other people., and you can do nothing about it until the journey is over.
I have a very strong opinion about responsibility and my views on the need to accept it for a happy and fulfilling life. The trainers did a fantastic job yesterday of putting that across to the people in the group. How does that fit with power exchange and sado madocism you might wonder. Perfectly in truth, for to me to give power to someone means making a huge responsible choice. Not something I would do without care and consideration and indeed something I have only ever given to one person. And really can't imagine giving to anyone else. The more I thought about it the more I felt submission isn't actually about letting go of responsibility, not for me anyway. Submission doesn't mean you give up responsibility it means you give power to someone else. Is that splitting hairs?
I can understand why some people don't want to take responsibility in their lives. As someone said yesterday, it's childlike behaviour. We did a cost benefit analysis of not taking responsibility, it had everyone laughing and understanding why actually they did all want to take responsibility and had little respect for people that didn't, even though they all admitted they had played the not taking responsibility game at some point in their lives.
It was an interesting exercise and I could see why I felt so good letting go with Colbeh. I felt in truth that responsibility is a state of mind and even in my deepest moments of submission I feel responsible for many things, even though those things might be very centred around Colbeh's needs and pleasures. In those moments my responsibility becomes Colbeh's happiness, doing what he wants, pleasing him, making sure my flat is perfect for him, smells nice and everything is clean and sparkling, bedding clean, I'm clean, everything done to please him and meet his needs, even if it hasn't occurred to him he might want or expect something. The responsibility I take on as a submissive is still large, even though power lies with him to lead.
Submission gives me joy and fulfilment, a sense of security and relaxation, calmness and certainty, but it doesn't take away responsibility.
Edited Sun 12 Oct 08, 9:56 AM by alexandraa
| 12 Oct 08, 10:19 AM steve1966 6 yrs  |
An extremely deep post for a Sunday morning but very enjoyable none the less I think you've hit the nail on the head with the single line at the end:
Because surely this is what is is all about at the end of the day.
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| 12 Oct 08, 10:22 AM go4it UK, 8 yrs |
No of course not. And am not entirely convinced you of all people have only just concluded that... | |
| 12 Oct 08, 11:31 AM alexandraa UK(NW), 8 yrs |
I like to think about these things and so many people link submission to giving up responsibility, sometimes it's confusing.... Innocent look....
Be careful what you wish for | |
| 12 Oct 08, 6:27 PM Cinnamon_Tart UK(S), 8 yrs |
I really like the idea of responsible submission.  Someone who's not looking to submit to have someone else "fix" them. Personal strength and knowledge. Personal freedom. Personal choices and actions.
I think the same goes for responsible dominance. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly. - Richard Bach, Illusions | |
| 12 Oct 08, 7:43 PM Platinum UK(W), 9 yrs |
In submission you exchange responsibility for your welfare, for the responsibility of satisfying the will of your dominant? Your dominant accepts responsibility for your welfare in return for having their will unquestioningly fulfilled?
Neither gives up responsibility but both are able to reach a place of intrinsic natural existence and pleasure. Wonderful, isn't it? P |
