Gender Differences and D/s (30)

This post is on the D/s Relationships web board.

Fri 10 Oct 08, 6:21 PM
bodski
UK(PR), 3 yrs

Lately I have been considering how different the D/s journey is for a Dom / femsub when compared to a Domme / malesub.
Clearly, D/s (or any relationship) is unique to the parties involved, however, I do suggest that there are some common traits which apply differently between genders.
I believe that ultimately there is no destination - any relationship is simply a journey. Once the parties deem that he or she is her or his sub then we have a D/s relationship and I think that in many ways the gender differences (if any) are less significant at that point (or at least the differnces may not specifically be D/s differences [feel free to challenge that view]).
When considering the time from first contact to reaching the point of being in a D/s relationship, how is that journey different based upon gender.
[Clearly I recognise that there are many types of relationship and we are fortunate within the BDSM world to have much acceptance of less conventional relationships than the hetero male - female one, but for the purpose of this discussion it would be helpful to focus on hetero relationships.]
I look forward to your thoughts.
Sending much peace and love out this weekend, spread it around.
Bod. ~O
x

10 Oct 08, 6:24 PM
littlenic
UK(KT), 2 yrs
Have you also been considering how different (or not) things are for Doms/malesubs and Dommes/femsubs?
Just asking, like.
Goodness...

10 Oct 08, 6:34 PM
JudyInDsGuise
UK, 5 yrs I must admit, I don't understand most of the OP - so I'm going to focus on the first sentence

bodski wrote:
Lately I have been considering how different the D/s journey is for a Dom / femsub when compared to a Domme / malesub.

Do you consider yourself to be exactly the same as every other Dom? Do you think that every femsub is the same?
Could it just be that relationships differ because the people *in* that relationship differ, and it's diddlysquat to do with gender?
judy

10 Oct 08, 7:21 PM
Red_Spark
UK, 2 yrs
I don't see why it would differ at all to do with gender, only because of the individuals involved.

"Be quiet and come with me. I won't betray you."

10 Oct 08, 7:26 PM
newfavourite
UK(S), 14 mths

One could write a thesis on these issues of gender and (heterosexual?) D/s but one is a little hungover and knackered so one will return to the debate later.
But basically, I have thought that taking a submissive role in D/s play (I have not embarked on what I would term a d/s 'relationship), I and my partner could be seen to be acting out a kind of 'hyper-heterosexuality' where traditional stereotyped gender roles are exaggerated and accentuated.
Equality is over-rated

10 Oct 08, 7:28 PM
bodski
UK(PR), 3 yrs

littlenic wrote:
Have you also been considering how different (or not) things are for Doms/malesubs and Dommes/femsubs?
Just asking, like.
nic
I haven't really considered that because it isn't my thing. I think that that may make a good discussion - maybe you could start a new thread ?
Peace.
Bod. ~O
x

10 Oct 08, 7:33 PM
bodski
UK(PR), 3 yrs

JudyInDsGuise wrote:
I must admit, I don't understand most of the OP - so I'm going to focus on the first sentence

bodski wrote:
Lately I have been considering how different the D/s journey is for a Dom / femsub when compared to a Domme / malesub.

Do you consider yourself to be exactly the same as every other Dom? Do you think that every femsub is the same?
Could it just be that relationships differ because the people *in* that relationship differ, and it's diddlysquat to do with gender?
judy
judy
To answer your question, I do not consider myself to be a Dom. I identify as Omniviant.
Omniviants are unique, much like Doms, subs, vanillas and every other type of label we choose to use.
I do think that there are gender differences with respect to the journey into submission. Newfavourite claims above that she could proabably write a thesis on it, and I would find that very interesting reading. In fact, to canvas such opinion is the reason why I posted.
Peace.
Bod. ~O
x

10 Oct 08, 7:43 PM
JudyInDsGuise
UK, 5 yrs So if everyone's unique, their relationships with other unique people must be unique. Which means that you're focussing on a unique difference (between Dom/femsub and Domme/malesub) that exists between *all* unique relationships.
I'm not sure if it's time for your meds, or mine.
judy

Edited 10 Oct 08, 7:44 PM by JudyInDsGuise

10 Oct 08, 7:45 PM
velvet_minx
UK(EH), 3 yrs

WeavingDreams wrote:
Dear Admin,
I hope you read this thread (*and* the original thread plus blog referenced here) and tell me again why you think this isn't a predominantly D/s site rather than being for all flavours of BDSM.
yours very interestedly..

Why do you think it *is* predominantly a D/s site? And does it matter if it is?
yours a bit interestedly...
ETA having read your previous name I get it now
No colours or shapes
No sound in my head
I forget who i am
Dirtier than Amy Winehouse's beehive
Edited 10 Oct 08, 7:47 PM by velvet_minx

10 Oct 08, 7:46 PM
JudyInDsGuise
UK, 5 yrs
WeavingDreams wrote:
Dear Admin,
I hope you read this thread (*and* the original thread plus blog referenced here) and tell me again why you think this isn't a predominantly D/s site rather than being for all flavours of BDSM.
yours very interestedly..

It's on the Ds Relationships board - what did you expect?
judy

10 Oct 08, 7:51 PM
Jahc99
UK, 2 yrs

Maybe what Bod is getting at is the way BDSM, D/s especially, allows us to take ownership of and fuck with societal 'rules', mostly historical leftovers?
Male breadwinner, protector, great provider, warrior, patriarcal control, the subservient little wifey, all that. We can take these things in our hands, turn them over, examine them, then throw them all in the air and start to juggle with them, any way we please.
Now go and tell an egg how to suck granny.

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