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| LeatherDaddi |
I must have been a real bastard in a previous life, because someone is really kicking my arse in this one..I am still reeling from the end of my relationship, and discovering who your friends really are is fuck upped, although, I thank all those who have contacted me, especially those who I really didnt expect to.
It seems my arse kicking isn't over yet, my last MRI scan results are in and they fucking suck!! It seems the fusion was a failure, as there is still severe nerve compression, which is why the pain is still bad, it also explains why the strength isn't coming back in my arms. There is also new problems with another disc, it seems the degeneration is slowly spreading down my spine, as the disc below the surgery site is now screwed and causing me pain. I can honestly say I am totally lost with all of this..where do I go for surgery? Where do I live to recover? Why is life so fucking brutal?
I can't "move on " yet..it's only been a couple of weeks that the last 5 years of my life went tits up, although the contacts have been nice to read..I am nowhere near ready to meet anyone!..<pity party moment> I know my heart is still full of love, it's a waste of space but I can't just stop feeling, it would be a damn site more easier if I could..I guess some people find it easier to move on..
I am leaving this place at the end of the month, I can't live here, not like this, and not when the hurt is still raw, salt doesn't sit well in the wound. Being around someone you love and being unable to reach out, it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
| 8 Oct 08, 8:55 AM Sweetiejar UK(S), 11 yrs |
I am so sorry to read this Lee, the fates really do seem to be conspiring against you at the moment. I am sure you already have done but it may well be worthwhile doing some research into your condition and finding out who is the most experienced consultant to help you. You can then request a referal from your GP. I really hope there is someone out there who can help you. Its always hard when a relationship ends, especially when you have to continue living together, we have all been living in the same house, knowing that its all going to end, for 10 months now. If we could have sorted it sooner we would have. You are probably doing the right thing by moving on, staying together when its over only causes bitterness and more pain and you end up hating each other. I genuinely hope that things turn out well for you, its hard for you to see a good outcome now but nobody knows whats around the corner. xxxxxxxxxx Sweetiejar Edited 8 Oct 08, 8:56 AM by Sweetiejar | |
| 8 Oct 08, 10:08 AM LeatherDaddi UK, 7 yrs |
I want to have the same surgeon, but the logistics are impossible, it would mean me being in Salford and my support being in Derbyshire..I am hoping to possibly go back to my old consultant, the one who did my previous two lower back surgeries, atleast that way I am only in Sheffield, not far for my support people to travel. I am sorry that you and yours are going through some emotional crap, I truely hope things work out for you all, in the least painless way. | |
| 8 Oct 08, 10:26 AM Avada_Kedavra UK, 7 yrs |
So sad to hear that DaddiLee, I hope life improves for you soon xxxx "Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a horrible cunt... me." | |
| 8 Oct 08, 11:21 AM kinky_kitty UK(LE), 5 yrs |
I don't know you but I just wanted to let you know I'm so sorry that life is treating you this rubbishly (not even sure if thats a word?! Lol it is now).
Thinking of you and sending lots of smiles your way tigger X | |
| 8 Oct 08, 12:11 PM DKLeather  UK(S), 11 yrs  |
just sends my love as always, a good dose of strength, and a smile (that one that suits you so well). DK x Leather Family - Blog - Cmunch - Unfettered | |
| 8 Oct 08, 12:23 PM LeatherKate UK(B), 4 yrs |
I know the feeling. I lived like that with my wife. Was horrid and awful. xx peace and love.. peace and love..[=-Embrace the beautiful lies, the chronic insanity of the sane-=] | |
| 8 Oct 08, 4:20 PM nekobaby UK(G), 6 yrs |
At the risk of sounding like a total sap, sending you big hugs, and every hope that things improve for you. xx Esse's girl. x | |
| 8 Oct 08, 6:19 PM GazUK1963 UK(B), 6 yrs |
Sends lots of huge, but very gentle hugs! Moving on is a journey. Every journey starts with the first step. Your first steps are to get your health sorted and your physical pain cured (or at least drastically reduced). Only then will you be in the right frame of mind and in the right life situation to put your heart, mind, body and energy into love. It's a matter of priority, check out Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. Sorry to sound so hard, I do really feel for you, but I do think that what I say is true. Take care and I hope the doctors can find something that works very soon. Gary x. Everyone who lives dies, but not everyone who dies has truly lived. | |
| 11 Oct 08, 11:21 AM Daddy_of_pain UK(ST), 6 yrs |
my thoughts are with you | |
| 12 Oct 08, 9:46 AM lucky_1 7 yrs |
Lots of love from us.
xxx I'm in my own world. It's Ok, they know me here. |
