Do you actively seek .... (61)

Moved from D/s Relationships

This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.

Sat 27 Sep 08, 10:29 AM
chartreuse
UK(BA), 2 yrs
.... "players" or do you dismiss those that you think are "players"?
How many dominants and submissives actively seek out the thrills of having different play partners and experiences, rather than only meeting and playing with those they think may be "the one"?
Do we restrict ourselves by not "trying before buying"?
Are "players" merely seeking their "one" but not restricting themselves while searching?
C x
"Truth is stranger than fiction."
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not."

27 Sep 08, 10:31 AM
Chastiser
UK(HP), 8 yrs
Y!
i tend to avoid those that have been round the block a few times, if i think there is a chance they may be joining 'the family'. its the same way i buy cars.
Mike
Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow.
My Carbon Footprint is HUGE!!!!!

27 Sep 08, 10:33 AM
chartreuse
UK(BA), 2 yrs

Chastiser wrote:
i tend to avoid those that have been round the block a few times, if i think there is a chance they may be joining 'the family'. its the same way i buy cars.
Mike
How do you know they "have been round the block a few times"? Do they tell you or do you assume they have?

"Truth is stranger than fiction."
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not."

27 Sep 08, 10:39 AM
chartreuse
UK(BA), 2 yrs
Is an experienced Dom/me or sub someone who was once a "player"? Have they "been around the block"?
Are experienced Dom/mes and subs (possibly formerly "players") not an attractive proposition?
"Truth is stranger than fiction."
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not."

27 Sep 08, 10:43 AM
Chastiser
UK(HP), 8 yrs
Y!

chartreuse wrote:

Chastiser wrote:
i tend to avoid those that have been round the block a few times, if i think there is a chance they may be joining 'the family'. its the same way i buy cars.
Mike
How do you know they "have been round the block a few times"? Do they tell you or do you assume they have?

either through personal knowledge, or simply by asking about previous experience. i tend to give people trust until proven otherwise, so would give their answers the benefit of the doubt.
of course, you will have an indication of the truth of what they have told you once you have taken her out for a test drive (grin). after that, you will of course make a decision to continue or not. bearing in mind, demonstration of greater experience than that told also shows an ability to colour the truth.
Mike

Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow.
My Carbon Footprint is HUGE!!!!!

27 Sep 08, 10:44 AM
ladyjayne
UK(M), 5 yrs
Y!
I guess it depends, I'm in a long term relationship, but I have a couple of friends that I play with on a semi regular basis, I enjoy playing with several different people, they each have different interests and react to play in different ways, it can be a lot of fun
the mystical divinity of unashamed felinity....
"does God exist?" "I Hope so, I spend most of my morning singing to him!"

27 Sep 08, 10:52 AM
notdesperate
UK, 4 mths
chartreuse wrote:
Do you actively seek ....
.... "players" or do you dismiss those that you think are "players"?
How many dominants and submissives actively seek out the thrills of having different play partners and experiences, rather than only meeting and playing with those they think may be "the one"?
Do we restrict ourselves by not "trying before buying"?
Are "players" merely seeking their "one" but not restricting themselves while searching?
C x
I'd rather wait and find something a little more long term

27 Sep 08, 11:00 AM
little_girl_with_a_c
UK(M), 6 yrs
Yes sometimes I seek long term play partners, who I can build friendship and trust with.
I have needs, and I try and meet them in that way.
Also I think there was a time, after my heart was trampled on the first time, that I was scared to trust again, where I wasn't ready to settle down, and it was 5 years between that relationship and the next.
I am looking for the "one". Though I am not putting my life on hold till I find them.
I am always honest about who I am and what i've done in the past. They may not accept that, but I can only be myself.
Does that make me a "player" it seems like it has a negative meaning in this thread?
Your so pretty when your on your knees. Disinfected, eager to please

27 Sep 08, 11:02 AM
MissP
UK(EN), 5 yrs
I'm happily esconced in a long term relationship, so I'm not looking for anything other than play partners who can add something to the existing brew, on a part-time basis.
Other than that, I will play casually in clubs, if I'm in the mood and asked nicely
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MissP-Dominatrix/

27 Sep 08, 11:04 AM
Chastiser
UK(HP), 8 yrs
Y!

poutanaki wrote:
it seems like it has a negative meaning in this thread?
like a lot of threads, people just put what they think. if what they think goes against what others think, then it can be interpreted as negative i guess.
i am not against those that consider themselves players, or those that are seen as players by others. but, i shape my relationships as i want them without considering the opinions of others.
everyone will deal with relationships as they want to, but not everyone will fit within their parameters.
Mike
Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow.
My Carbon Footprint is HUGE!!!!!

27 Sep 08, 11:10 AM
Jahc99
UK, 2 yrs

chartreuse wrote:
How many dominants and submissives actively seek out the thrills of having different play partners and experiences, rather than only meeting and playing with those they think may be "the one"?

Have already got 'the one', and actively look for other people to play with. Also actively look for other people for her to play with, too. And I am just as happy with complete novices as experienced players.
Is this the latest BDSM purity test, 'Oh no, I don't do players?'
Now go and tell an egg how to suck granny.

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