23 Sep 08, 1:12 PM
Tadashii_Aikouka
5 yrs |
The difference between BDSM sex and vanilla sex is that, while D/s may be present in every relationship and in all sex, BDSM acknowledges and celebrates that imbalance of power. Vanilla couples strive to create equality in all aspects of their relationship, which, IMO, just isn't natural. |
23 Sep 08, 1:19 PM
littlenic
5 yrs |
fifi_g wrote:
littlenic wrote:
The definition of masochism - or at least, one of them - is: - 1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
- 2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
- 3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
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so where does just enjoying pain come into this definition?
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Dunno. I copied and pasted it from an online dictionary. I'd assume it's part of point 1 - being physically abused. Crikey...
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23 Sep 08, 1:27 PM
Tadashii_Aikouka
5 yrs |
whippedcream wrote:
<snip> just underlines what I said, that basically all sex is on some level or other sado-masochistic.
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Why do you keep using that word? I don't think it means what you think it means.... 
Unless of course you are of the belief that all sex is painful...
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23 Sep 08, 1:29 PM
SissySlut_lbwf
UK(E), 4 yrs
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Tadashii_Aikouka wrote:
The difference between BDSM sex and vanilla sex is that, while D/s may be present in every relationship and in all sex, BDSM acknowledges and celebrates that imbalance of power. Vanilla couples strive to create equality in all aspects of their relationship, which, IMO, just isn't natural.
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I've been hearing this a lot in this thread, but could you (plural) be 'seeing' D/S in relationships because you are looking for it? -------------------
- Gag me, shag me -
-------------------
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23 Sep 08, 2:49 PM
toesuckasub
UK(M), 5 yrs
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littlenic wrote:
The definition of masochism - or at least, one of them - is: - 1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
- 2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
- 3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
Being penetrated does not by itself equal being abused/humiliated/mistreated/subjected to an unpleasant experience. Masochistic leanings aren't inherent in a desire to be penetrated.
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whipped cream should have said 'submissive' instead of 'masochistic' I love to grovel
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23 Sep 08, 3:01 PM
Backdooruk
UK(BA), 12 yrs
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Tadashii_Aikouka wrote:
whippedcream wrote:
<snip> just underlines what I said, that basically all sex is on some level or other sado-masochistic.
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Why do you keep using that word? I don't think it means what you think it means....
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I suspect whippedcream is using it in the sense of a class of sexulaity. Don't forget, until the term BDSM was invented on the internet what we do would have been called sado-masochistic whether it involved pain or not (it was the catch-all phrase used in the same way BDSM is now).
- Chris
Anyone with a brain is manipulable. Only the truly unimaginative are difficult to control.
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23 Sep 08, 3:16 PM
mini_velvet
UK(EH), 6 yrs
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whippedcream wrote:
Anyway, all sex is to some degree or other sado-masochistic, involving penetrating or being penetrated, giving or taking control, it's a fact of life and thats that.
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Have you been reading Andrea Dworkin lately? No colours or shapes
No sound in my head
I forget who i am
Dirtier than Amy Winehouse's beehive
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23 Sep 08, 3:44 PM
mastercard
UK(CF), 7 yrs
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Tadashii_Aikouka wrote:
The difference between BDSM sex and vanilla sex is that, while D/s may be present in every relationship and in all sex, BDSM acknowledges and celebrates that imbalance of power. Vanilla couples strive to create equality in all aspects of their relationship, which, IMO, just isn't natural.
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I like this explanation a lot, specifically "BDSM acknowledges and celebrates that imbalance of power".
I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say Vanilla means striving for equality, although I think it's a better definition than many I've heard! Thank you for your reply! |
23 Sep 08, 4:13 PM
whippedcream
3 yrs |
littlenic wrote:
Sorry, but what?
whippedcream wrote:
Anyway, all sex is to some degree or other sado-masochistic, involving penetrating or being penetrated, giving or taking control, it's a fact of life and thats that.
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Our physiological make up decrees that the owner of the orifice must display masochistic leanings in order for them to desire/submit to penetrative sex,
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The definition of masochism - or at least, one of them - is: - 1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
- 2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
- 3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
Being penetrated does not by itself equal being abused/humiliated/mistreated/subjected to an unpleasant experience. Masochistic leanings aren't inherent in a desire to be penetrated.
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Don't think I said it did equal a bad experience, and perhaps as suggested on here submissive may have been a better word, anyway, not sure I've got accross where I'm coming from
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24 Sep 08, 2:24 AM
Tadashii_Aikouka
5 yrs |
SissySlut_lbwf wrote:
Tadashii_Aikouka wrote:
The difference between BDSM sex and vanilla sex is that, while D/s may be present in every relationship and in all sex, BDSM acknowledges and celebrates that imbalance of power. Vanilla couples strive to create equality in all aspects of their relationship, which, IMO, just isn't natural.
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I've been hearing this a lot in this thread, but could you (plural) be 'seeing' D/S in relationships because you are looking for it?
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No, I don't think so. I was aware of power imbalances in every relationship I ever had, long before I even knew what D/s was. And many vanilla friends talk about how the power and control in their relationships are never equal. |
