TPE (6)

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Ravens_metalmiss
Posted by Ravens_metalmiss on Tue 9 Sep 08, 5:39 PM

i've been thinking a lot about compatibility.. Relationship compatibility specifically and all that comes with it.. All in all i figure i'm a very lucky girl (yes another one of those)..

i want to begin by discussing TPE from my perspective as a submissive female, just starting out in this level of power exchange.. As before i met my Master i lacked the understanding of myself required to confidently apply the label 'slave' to me.

TPE in itself is essentially a difficult lifestyle to live, at least at the very beginning. It's easy to just give your life away and commit to the concept.. But adjusting to the actuality and living it for real is a whole other kettle of fish.

Absolute submission 24/7, giving everything you are over to that Person, your decisions, your rights, your privileges.. Making Them the ultimate centre of focus, stability and control in your life.. All the little things that you take for granted as an adult cease to be your own.

You become answerable to that Person, completely vulnerable to Them in all ways.. Stung at first by an intense fear when you find you can't stop yourself opening up & uncurling, intimately revealing even the most secret, delicate and private areas of who and what you are.. Unable to do anything except thrive on the Dynamic you are being gently weaned on, while all the time aware of the sensation of tumbling faster and faster down the rabbit hole.

Everything you thought of as yours.. Can property own property? Forget that.. You ARE property.

And then there's all the smaller things.. Seeking approval for what to wear.. What to eat.. Drink.. How to behave.. Which jobs you can apply for.. The list is endless.. Life begins to become full of little invisible lines that you just daren't cross, because that would lead you to hearing that most feared word from the lips of a Dominant.. "Disappointed".

There's no breaking or bending of the rules, no loopholes, no lies, no arguments and no time off.. The T in TPE stands for Total NOT Time-share as my Master quite often likes to say. And i wouldn't have it any other way. The rules still apply whether He is with me or not, if i was the type who took that time to disregard His wishes, then it would be quite simple.. There would be no submission at all.. It's amazing how many s-types fall into that trap.

Submission is not always easy, but it's not meant to be & it's far more rewarding (in my experience) when it isn't. In fact my Master would argue that if it's always easy it isn't really submission at all.

Even though the choices in your life are not your own, you have to trust that the Dominant has your best interests at heart in the decisions that He makes.. i am encouraged by the fact that He allows me most of the time to give my opinion on almost any matter before a decision is made.. This isn't me telling Him what to decide.. Just giving Him information so that He can make an informed choice. Not sulking if i don't like the outcome is a valued skill that i am starting to develop.. It's not easy.. But it will be rewarding and make me more pleasing.

But this is only really the very tip of the iceberg.. It's harder than it looks committing your whole life to the pleasure of Another..

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For as long as i can remember i have desired to live completely on the whim and at the pleasure of Another, something i had long given up on finding when i met Raven to discuss the potential of being occasional play partners..

As has been said many times before, what came out of that meeting was neither planned nor hoped for.. With us the spark was so strong, circumstances dictated that instead of the slow getting to know each other on a part time basis, it had to be all or nothing.. So We decided to take the chance. Difficult & therefore rewarding as it can be at times, considering the whirlwindesque beginning We were faced with, compatibility-wise i consider that within Our Dynamic things could be a whole lot worse..

We have a similar taste in clothes as to what suits me - with very few exceptions.. But so long as i find something suitable that He approves of to wear when we go out, i am mostly spared the discomfort that these exceptions can cause..

Our tastes in food are very similar - Though not as enthusiastic about mushrooms as i am (few people are) He likes them and has taken a shine to my mushroom stroganoff & has helped me rediscover my love of garlic & spicy foods.

my personal standards for housework are slightly higher than His already minimalist and clean needs - there is no need for Him to tell me that things need doing, generally they've already been done.

Our opinions about life and the universe are very similar, as are our spiritual beliefs & political views - Somebody once commented that it would be interesting to see the two of us step up on opposite sides of a debate.. Something which is unlikely to happen, our views are so parallel on so many subjects that there is rarely ever the slightest disagreement.

We're both northerner's, old fashioned, opinionated & outspoken (though Him more publicly than i tend to be i must admit).. We both thrive on intelligent conversation.. Everything from physics & current affairs to films, family troubles and mundane day to day blurb. While we're both talker's, we also both love to listen.

We share the view that physical play is fun & although i have a need for certain amounts as a masochist, it's just the icing on the cake.. And both of Us hold strongly onto the belief that playing with the non-physical is better.. Our days are filled with banter, sexual, psychological & cheeky.. Together We have a lot of fun.. But i'll stop there because i could go on forever.

i consider myself lucky that in that We actually are quite so compatible.. If just one or two of these things were reversed, if either personality was slightly different, the balance would be knocked askew and of course, as the submissive of the two.. i would have a lot of adjusting to do. The fact that We are so compatible makes me lucky in that i never really had to change my ways in more than the basic sense.

Many people ask how, with all the control a slave is subjected to, she can really be herself? Well that's easy.. As long as it's within His wants, needs & expectations.. And of course crosses no lines.. i can be as much myself as i like.. One wonders what the fun would be for Him if i wasn't...

There's much, much more than could be said.. But i think i'll leave it there for now.. To be continued..

xxx

Replies

9 Sep 08, 5:44 PM
newfavourite
UK(S), 14 mths

A very interesting read. It felt a bit like reading a news report from an alien planet, but fascinating for that!
Equality is over-rated

9 Sep 08, 6:41 PM
sheGives
UK(GL), 18 mths

Thank you for sharing this with us, I know that I enjoyed reading it.

Ravens_metalmiss wrote:
Many people ask how, with all the control a slave is subjected to, she can really be herself? Well that's easy.. As long as it's within His wants, needs & expectations.. And of course crosses no lines.. i can be as much myself as i like.. One wonders what the fun would be for Him if i wasn't...
Although one may be subjected to such a level of control, it is with that control that a slave is able to be the person that they are, and to have the freedom within that control to be who they are. And as from what you have said, it doesn't stop you being "you".
Regards sheGives

"Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.� Erich Fromm

9 Sep 08, 6:57 PM
Ravens_metalmiss
UK(CR), 5 yrs

sheGives wrote:
Although one may be subjected to such a level of control, it is with that control that a slave is able to be the person that they are, and to have the freedom within that control to be who they are. And as from what you have said, it doesn't stop you being "you".
Exactly *smiles* And i would go as far as to say, from my perspective, that because i have such a strong need to submit, being in a TPE relationship actually enables me to be more "myself" and express it more confidently than i would without that Dynamic.
"I would never harm you darling, but there is a world of difference between hurt and harm." - Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns

9 Sep 08, 7:59 PM
Taintedinnocence
UK, 3 yrs

That was lovely to read is nice to see other 24/7 TPE couples so happy
And you are so write about the little things. I want Master_Falconer to see everything now, before I make a decision on it. Well, ok, not everything, I do manage to e.g. pick the right t-bag, but certain things.
Interesting to see your thinking following that workshop too
Isn't it weird the way D/s makes you strong through allowing yourself to be so vulnerable?

9 Sep 08, 11:41 PM
grammar_s_boy
UK(NW), 19 mths

A fascinating read.
A lot of the things you have mentioned are things that scare me, but still maybe those fears fade away when you find the right person.
Clem Attlee was the man.

17 Sep 08, 12:14 PM
Gramercy
UK, 8 mths
Thank you - an articulate account. I often think these relationships are mainly featuring a male Dom. And I wish more Dommes were actively seeking similar scenarios! I suppose I'll get heartily corrected now. I'm unsure as to whether I could actively live within TPE - but it's a nice cache of thoughts!!


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