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sexual arousal during bdsm sessions? (41)

This post is on the Other BDSM web board.

When the modes of play and the atmosphere between you are just right then it can be deeply erotic rather than merely sexual. I tend to structure play around activities and protocols where often I am concentrating on what I am doing to my sub, how she is responding and what is going on in the room. I am not saying that this is more Meccano than Marquis De Sade but I am concentrating especially if using restraints equipment etc. I am often not that sexually aroused in those modes of play but find the whole scenario and her responses very erotic and sometimes quite entertaining, but then I am slightly perverse!

I often structure sessions almost around a kind of reciprocal arrangement where I work quite hard doing things that focus on her and what is getting her off and then have times where I set things up so she works hard to please me. These can be quite challenging but I find that a grateful sub will often try that little bit harder to please! I find that this works well for me and she hasnt complained so far! LOL

There is one thing however, my sub does with her eyes that flicks my switch both emotionally and sexually and it never fails to get me going!

Edited 12 Sep 08, 2:03 PM by Academic

12 Sep 08, 2:49 PM
granny_goodwife
5 yrs

stormy_1 wrote:
From a subs point of view, i find the whole D/s thing a turn on.

During a session i am almost at the point of orgasm for the duration, i love it

Yes! Yes! Yes!

12 Sep 08, 2:53 PM
toesuckasub
UK(M), 5 yrs

Satisfying on such a deeper level than just sexually.

But I wouldn't bother at all if I didn't also have a sexual interest in subbing.

I love to grovel

13 Sep 08, 10:33 PM
Alexina
UK, 4 yrs

I completely agree about arousal being on many different levels.

Good rope work comes with extensive practice and for practical reasons that cannot always be with one's partner. Rope certainly intensifies any sexual encounter, rope with my lover/submissive is incredibly intense and sexual. However, they live 200 miles away and because I need to practice I do practice rope with others as it is an artform I take very seriously, but I have to sublimate any arousal as I'm committed to my partner and I have no intention of cheating on them, however there is always a very deep satisfaction from doing good rope work, the same as from making good art, it's deeply stimulating, it's challenging to the mind probably more than the body, well it can be physically exhausting doing complex shibari and suspension. It is always exhilarating and my shibari models are always sent to a very happy place and there is a great satisfaction in taking people to that special place that only rope can take people

leashhand wrote:
I have to agree with Mac Rame and RopeTopUk - I love to use rope in particular. I find though that whilst the whole experience is generally stimulating, the arousal side can be 'forgotten' about at different times. To practice some of the things we do to each other requires 100% concentration and focus, in this case the person doing the tying has to make sure all is safe and that any risks are minimised - it can take the edge off your arousal levels to put it mildly.

Personally, the concentration itself becomes an arousing feature - even though it doesnt get me hard at times. My satisfaction in a scene like that comes from the sub's face afterwards - when you can see just how big an effect youve had on them. Arousal neednt be a purely physical thing.

14 Sep 08, 7:44 PM
Baby_Girl
UK, 5 yrs
£

Robber wrote:
Absolutely sexual. Having someone close enough to share that side of me brings an aspect openess that lets vibes flow like nothing else.

The arousal factor is like nothing else I have ever felt before

The dirtiness makes it oh so sexy.

The greatest foreplay activity since oral!!!!

Totally agree !

If its not dirty it aint sexy!,,

'Bring on the filth please' xx

baby xx

14 Sep 08, 9:19 PM
Kookie
UK, 4 yrs

90% of the time Yes.

Most of the 10% when BDSM is not sexual includes the lecturing and protocol sessions where I feel Ive not quite made the grade. Other occasions include when a session provokes emotion - then I just need a cuddle and a cuppa.

We are all in the gutter, just some of us are looking at the stars (Wilde).

14 Sep 08, 10:48 PM
Baby_Girl
UK, 5 yrs
£

Kookie wrote:
90% of the time Yes.

i love the cuddles and the cuppa's,,, but stuff just gets back in my mind to get low down & dirty again soon after x

The more i find my emotions,,, the more i need to thrive sexually again & again. So horny to feed from emotions during playtimes. The more i get the more i want.

blimey,,,,

nymph alert methinks x

baby x

Edited 14 Sep 08, 10:49 PM by Baby_Girl

15 Sep 08, 10:01 AM
Kookie
UK, 4 yrs

Baby_Girl wrote:

Kookie wrote:
90% of the time Yes.

i love the cuddles and the cuppa's,,, but stuff just gets back in my mind to get low down & dirty again soon after x

The more i find my emotions,,, the more i need to thrive sexually again & again. So horny to feed from emotions during playtimes. The more i get the more i want.

blimey,,,,

nymph alert methinks x

baby x

there have been occasions where the more I find emotions, the dirtier he gets.

You're just greedy

We are all in the gutter, just some of us are looking at the stars (Wilde).

15 Sep 08, 3:43 PM
Baby_Girl
UK, 5 yrs
£

Kookie wrote:

Baby_Girl wrote:

Kookie wrote:
90% of the time Yes.

i love the cuddles and the cuppa's,,, but stuff just gets back in my mind to get low down & dirty again soon after x

The more i find my emotions,,, the more i need to thrive sexually again & again. So horny to feed from emotions during playtimes. The more i get the more i want.

blimey,,,,

nymph alert methinks x

baby x

there have been occasions where the more I find emotions, the dirtier he gets.

You're just greedy

mmmmmmmmmm x

'licks lips' x

15 Sep 08, 3:45 PM
Mistress_Amethyst
UK, 5 yrs

ants1_columbia wrote:
sexual arousal during bdsm sessions?

hello. i recently listened to an interview with a pro domme and she said that she doesnt actually get sexually aroused during bdsm sessions, even though she is actually into it and doesnt just do it for the money. i realise that the doing it as a job factor probably has something to do with it, but it got me thinking about wether this is the norm or the exception and how much it differs between men and women. so id just like to ask all doms and subs, male and female wether they think people generally do become physically sexually aroused during bdsm sessions, before any actual sex acts take place. so that would mean during flogging, role play, obedience training, fantasy enactment etc.

you have the cheek to ask us this question!

as there is so much on your profile?

xXAXx

~~If you don't like me it's your fault~~

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