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IC : Weblogs : AWRed : "You may be a Paramedic, if..."
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You may be a Paramedic, if... (13)
AWRed's profile
Posted by AWRed on Mon 8 Sep 08, 1:57 PM
Can't take the credit for this, but it made me smile.
You may be a Paramedic, if...
"You have the bladder capacity of five people.
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.
You believe that 75% of people are a waste of space.
Your idea of a good time is a "good bitch "at shift change.
Discussing dismemberment over dinner seems perfectly normal to you.
You find humour in other peoples stupidity.
You have your weekends off planned for a year.
You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says ' God, its
quiet today'.
Whenever you phone someone, you ask them 'Are you free to speak?'
Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than a
computer can track.
You're the only sober person in the kebab house.
You believe chocolate is a food group.
Having alcohol at 7am seems perfectly normal.
You have ever wanted to hold a seminar called 'Suicide, getting it right
the first time'.
You believe 'Too stupid to Live' should be a valid medical condition.
When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to a food group.
You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
You end normal conversations with loved ones with Roger.
You walk down the street looking at people as potential cardiac arrests.
You believe the carpet bombing of certain areas of your neighbourhood is a viable alternative to policing
You believe that some so called illnesses can be sorted out with a damn good kicking.
Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
At least once every working day you use the phrase, 'The job's f***ed!'
You regularly say, 'With all due respect, Sir' but mean nothing of the sort.
You have a nose finely tuned to the smells of piss, shit, decomposition and stale body odour.
You think Thursday is the best night to go into town for a drink with your mates."
Author as yet unknown
Replies
8 Sep 08, 2:06 PM
Crystal_Eyes
UK(SA), 2 yrs
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AWRed wrote:
You have ever wanted to hold a seminar called 'Suicide, getting it right
the first time'.
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That one cracked me up, thanks  ------------------------------------------
"Oh bother," said the borg. "We've assimilated Pooh..."
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8 Sep 08, 2:23 PM
kisses_for_me
UK(IP), 2 yrs
Y!
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AWRed wrote:
Author as yet unknown
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I think I may have seen this on Reynolds blog - Paramedic blog
Im also pretty sure I have seen it with a few minor changes to be you know you are copper when.....
The one that sticks out for the police version is rather than roger for ending conversations, its "yes yes" It's easy to tell the difference between right and wrong. What's hard is choosing the wrong that's more right.
I tend to be suspicious of all true believers. Present company included.
Elise Kraft, The Siege.
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8 Sep 08, 2:27 PM
BitziVonMuffling
UK(PL), 3 yrs
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hmmm rings true for me except im not a paramedic but work in the care industry
so yeah bodily fluids are a topic over the dinner table as well as the" shit i dont get paid enough for this" convo
Why did nature create man? Was it to show she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance?
holbrook jackson
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8 Sep 08, 2:53 PM
switch_honey
UK(ME), 12 mths
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it's me!!!
Maybe need I to become a paramedic. |
8 Sep 08, 4:04 PM
uniquemoon
UK, 7 yrs
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BitziVonMuffling wrote:
hmmm rings true for me except im not a paramedic but work in the care industry
so yeah bodily fluids are a topic over the dinner table as well as the" shit i dont get paid enough for this" convo
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ooh yeah! love the dirty talks over dinner and the rest of the post above could just as well apply to people in psychiatric care.  the working croud. I mean the ones wearing white... with the buttons on the front... |
8 Sep 08, 4:14 PM
Belleraphon
UK, 3 yrs |
OOOOHHHH yessssssss
love it http://groups.yahoo.com/group/houseofprincipals/...
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8 Sep 08, 5:10 PM
Crystal_Eyes
UK(SA), 2 yrs
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That's an AMAZING blog - thank you for the link! ------------------------------------------
"Oh bother," said the borg. "We've assimilated Pooh..."
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8 Sep 08, 5:21 PM
jen001
UK(HD), 5 yrs
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or a nurse!
j xx you are not a gentleman, a gentleman would never stare at a lady like that...
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8 Sep 08, 5:59 PM
x_Raven_x
UK(CR), 3 yrs
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No paramedic but have been a carer, does that count Live your life in such a way that when
Your feet hit the floor in the morning,
Satan shudders and says:
"Oh Shit! She's Awake!"
(Not responsible for this but just love it)
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8 Sep 08, 6:08 PM
AWRed
UK(KT), 6 yrs
Y!
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Tom's Blog really is superb.
It gives a real insight into the Job and has me in laughter and tears in equal proportions.
I also tend to sit there nodding sagely saying "Ain't that the truth"
For a fictional and somewhat darker blog try http://claphambulance.blogspot.com/
Crystal_Eyes wrote:
That's an AMAZING blog - thank you for the link!
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