This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Sun 31 Aug 08, 6:24 PM RealSubSlave 4 yrs  |
. Edited Sun 31 Jan 10, 2:11 PM by RealSubSlave | ||
| 31 Aug 08, 7:03 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs  |
I have yet to go to a club which didn't have space for you to change once you got there. Wear whatever you like for the trip there and home, but have stuff to change into which meets the club's dress code. What you should expect depends on the club. There are very few clubs which will make you feel welcome once you are inside with a drink. I have no experience of clubs in Essex, so cannot comment on how welcome you are or aren't made at any of them. There will be people who say Club X is really friendly and it may well be if you know people there, if you don't know people there most clubs are unfriendly, but slightly more friendly than a normal club night out. One of the secrets of meeting people at clubs is by taking a bit of initiative yourself and speak to people, but pick the right people. The best people to start with are the people looking after the equipment. They will have a badge on, so you can recognise them, and will have been around for a while so know loads of people. You have to affix your gaze on one of them, go up to them and say something like "Hello I am Gordon", or whatever your name is, "and it is my first time here. Have you any advice?" They should be able to do the rest and introduce you to a couple of people. What you should expect from a club is nothing other than people sitting around and chatting, there may be some play and by all means watch. The age range will be from twenties up to, and often beyond, fifties, the average will be around the mid thirties. It will be a fairly even gender balance with two thirds couples and one third singles. There will be singles of both genders. The best way to behave is be yourself, don't try to be the best slave ever, people aren't looking for that, they want companionship. Science, the only religion that works even if you don't believe in it. | ||
| 31 Aug 08, 7:46 PM kinky_kitty UK(LE), 5 yrs |
Just thought I'd say thank you for that lovely thoughtful post. Its nice that someone's taken the time to answer queries in reassuring detail, rather than the usual "just go up and talk to someone" response. Everyone has to start somewhere! XXX | ||
| 31 Aug 08, 7:48 PM strictlydavid UK(BD), 7 yrs |
Just be yourself and enjoy the night if you get to the club. The beauty of this lifestyle is nobody has expectations. You will find you will grow into things the more you go and become who you want to be. Just relax and enjoy the ride. | ||
| 31 Aug 08, 9:22 PM servantphilip UK, 5 yrs |
it's a good suggestion to make conversation with a staff member (normally wearing a badge) as previously stated. i serve behind the bar in a fetish club in the midlands, either myself or one of the Dungeon Mistresses keep an eye out for newcomers or singles and always try and make an effort to introduce ourselves, i'm sure other clubs are the same. Some have a pre-club munch which gives you the opportunity to meet other people going to the club in a vanilla setting if this makes it any easier for you. Hope you find a suitable club you'll feel comfortable in. servant philip | ||
| 1 Sep 08, 8:35 AM FreeKinker UK(PE), 10 yrs |
As a small private venue our local dungeon here in Peterborough likes to be welcoming - there is a chill out room where you can get to know others. We have a dress code - but people can visit us say just wearing anything plain black. New people are shown all the facilities. Usually there will be people playing you are welcome to watch. There may even be a Domme wanting someone to play with, but best not expect this and feel disappointed if it doesn't happen! Another way in might be to go to the local munch, make some friends and see if you can go with them to an event. Regards Mike aka vMaster ------------------ PURPLE PASSIONS Web Site: www.purplepassions.org.uk
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| 1 Sep 08, 12:19 PM gigglewiggle UK(DA), 4 yrs |
i have only been to one club, which was the Kink Fest After-party. It was a fantastic experience. i can say that it helped for me that i had met some of the people at Kink Fest, some i had met from here, and others i met at various Munches i have been attending. i feel getting involved in munches can be a great way to meet like-minded people. If you find it easy to approach and greet people that you don't know, then you shouldn't have a problem. Just know that it's rude interrupt someone during a scene or play of any kind. However, if you respectfully approach them after, you may find they will be happy to converse with you. Just remember that if it was a heavy scene, they will want to care for their submissive/slave/bottom. This just may mean that they will need a bit of space and maybe hunt them down later. Finding a club is easier thanks to a great place to look. i feel that IC offers the BEST way to search for events going on in your area. Just look to the UK Listings to find lists of events, clubs, munches, etc. There's nothing wrong with going to a club alone, but if you're shy and have a hard time approaching people, i would suggest making friends/contacts first. Just remember one visit to a club can't always tell you how much you will or won't enjoy the clubbing experience. It takes giving it two or three tries at least.
i can say i know from regular clubbing and BDSM clubbing, i know what i like in a club. i hate loud music. i like being able to have conversations. And if i'm playing with my Owners, then i prefer that i can hear them so i can obey their commands and that they hear me. Communication is hard if one form is blocked from you. There's always non-verbal, but i like to have more options.
It becomes a personal thing, really. Find what works best for you...read up on the clubs that are close, give them a visit and hopefully you will make many friends along the way and have a blast. i wish you the best of luck. Submission is a journey best not taken alone. | ||
| 1 Sep 08, 12:39 PM Mrs_Smith 6 yrs |
WOW !!! I am completely shocked
bohnanza is right, chatting to the Dungeon Monitors is a great way of being introduced around, you could also try emailing the venue in advance of your night out, explaining that you are new to clubbing. Then introduce yourselves to the owners/managers when you arrive. They all want their venue to succeed, so I am sure they will be as helpful as possible. Good luck and I hope you enjoy yourself. |
