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| Sun 31 Aug 08, 1:22 PM Mimi_69 UK(M), 4 yrs  |
so, its been 2 months since i was dumped by my ex, for the reason he didn't want a relationship anymore. very recently i see him arm in arm with someone new...and from mutual friends she's his new love...his profile photo makes me feel sick Is it ok I'm really pissed off with this? i think its because half my stuff is still at his... I want my dom!!! or am i just being inpatient? | |
| 31 Aug 08, 1:40 PM doctorgas UK, 5 yrs  |
I think he was, perhaps, being a little dishonest with you when he said he didn't want a relationship any more when what he probably meant was that he didn't want a relationship with you any more. Of course it hurts and you're allowed to feel upset about it, but try not to get angry about it. It will be worth trying to get your stuff back Time to move on (it will take time) and do something new. He has.
Edited 31 Aug 08, 2:34 PM by doctorgas | |
| 31 Aug 08, 1:54 PM SheilaBlyge UK(S), 4 yrs |
Hey, I'm 8 months down the line, and his stuff is still here (long story, and no, I can't throw it out - the house is still half his, and his stuff 'lives' here 'temporarily). But the emotional side... I have to see him and his woman frequently, we work in the same places. And no, moving on is not that easy to do. You may know in your head that it's all over and 'move on', but those pangs of frustration, annoyance, and hurt will strike for a while to come yet. And I guess that's ok. Just part of the process. Doesn't mean you're not moving on, just that what you have lost meant a lot to you, and you can't just do a "format c:" on your heart! For me, time (and getting out and having fun!) is healing me, although every now and then something comes along to open old wounds which is difficult. But time, and friends help us through these things.
My heartfelt good wishes to you | |
| 31 Aug 08, 2:27 PM Mistress_Hypatia UK, 5 yrs |
When you get dumped, for reasons you don't understand - or aren't your fault - by someone you love, it hurts. It is OK for it to hurt. It is OK for it to hurt for a long time. As has been so sapiently remarked, you can't just snap out of it (the way so many acquaintances would like you to) - healing takes time. What can help, is doing something new. Either something you've never thought of trying before, or something you've been meaning to have a go at but never quite got around to. It gives you something positive to think about - you are achieving something, building something. And it's OK to be angry - just don't do anything that might come back to bite you on the ass later. Smile, be nice, be polite, be dignified. And get your stuff back. Good luck. --A lady is never offensive... by accident.-- | |
| 31 Aug 08, 5:32 PM Dollface UK, 6 yrs  |
Of course it's okay to be angry. You might want to rip his (or her!) head off and vomit down the neck, but the ultimate revenge is to live well and all that - as someone said before me, maintain dignity and keep your chin up, and make good use of punchbags and angry masturbation. "When you're going through hell, keep going." | |
| 31 Aug 08, 5:36 PM Mimi_69 UK(M), 4 yrs |
hummm... that going grrr instead of screaming when cumming?! i'm mostly hurt that he lied, the way he broadcasted the event to the whole of a local pub we used to spend a lot of time in. and now just found out i have to get my stuff by Wednesday. bastard. | |
| 31 Aug 08, 6:20 PM MsSarah UK(PO), 9 yrs |
get your things and move on dont show any emotion when you are around him treat him with the comtempt he deserves you are better than him and at least you can hold your head high because you were not the one who wasnt being honnest time is a great healer and he didnt deserve you by the sound of things.
MOVE ON AND UPWARDS !....
I have that problem at the moment my friend has left his wife and she is blaming me and putting rumours around that are not true the real reason he left her was the things she was doing to him but she doesnt want to belive that so the easy way out is to blame someone else for her mistakes its pretty messy at the moment even down to her aiming her car at me and nearly hitting me but everytime i think of revenge and how i want to get my own back i hold my head high and ignore her slander no matter how much it hurts me....
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| 31 Aug 08, 6:34 PM Mistress_Hypatia UK, 5 yrs |
Everybody says, "Liars never prosper" and "The truth will out." I hope this is true; there is, on the practical level, certainly the fact that lies tend to get more complicated, the longer they go on. The best thing you can do, when faced by someone spreading malicious lies about you, is to maintain distance and dignity. The minute you buy into the lies by making a fuss - or giving people any excuse to think 'six and two threes, if you ask me' - you help the liar. Never, ever get into a slanging match with a liar - you won't win because a liar is willing to say anything, and it will only make you look bad. Finding something to punch is good, though. Works for me. --A lady is never offensive... by accident.-- | |
| 1 Sep 08, 10:32 AM littlenic 5 yrs |
I've said it before, and, knowing me, I'll say it again, but: It's Called a Break Up Because it's Broken is a fantastic little book - funny, light-hearted, but also full of excellent advice and thinking.
And real life examples of people who went totally nuts to make you feel better about yourself "I've got this terrible problem..." | |
| 1 Sep 08, 10:40 AM ALittleBizarre 5 yrs |
Yes, i'm in the same boat, it still hurts, I still cry, i still feel guilty for everything that happened and stupid for ever letting it go on for as long as it did. i think it hurts even more so when you break up a D/s relationship. It can be a much deeper connection and its harder to sever. Harder to know when the pain is too much pain to endure. From a subs point of view its difficult coming to terms with the fact that it isnt that I wasnt a good enough sub it was that it just didnt work, no matter how we tried to twist it it just wouldnt fit. No ones fault, but i still feel guilty and I still hurt from what he put me through. | |
| 1 Sep 08, 12:09 PM meadow 4 yrs |
It's okay to be angry, just not to act on that anger. Try to avoid looking at his profile/asking after him. It'll only wind you up further. When you are ready you'll get over him and it just won't hurt any more. Just hang in there and your heart will tell you when you are ready. And I'm sure you'll have NO trouble finding a new dom! |
