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| LadyEmmaCavendish |
My Master is keen for me to complete tasks, to submit to his orders. This shows that I am keen to please him and that I always put his orders above my emotions / feelings and fears.
My Master is aware that he wants to stretch me - like an elastic band, without snapping me. He is very good at judging me, ensuring that he stretches without the risk of snapping. Of course once I've stretched once, it's easier to stretch again, a little bit further.
I like having a daily challenge. It ensures that because of the distance my servitude continues. It also provides me with the courage and confidence to grow. Generally in life I will try most things at least once. The daily challenges allow me to try the things I have never dreamed about. Usually I feel "Oh my god I could never do that!" and then I go and do it. Sometimes before a task I feel physically sick with nerves.
Initially I was asked to do simple tasks such as flashing my stocking tops. This at the time seemed like a mountain but is gradually getting easier. Generally I enjoy exhibitionism but I still need to take a deep breath before managing to perform these tasks.
There are some tasks which i don't think I will enjoy and then actually do...
For example, we went to a party. There were a lot of single (ugly) men there. I allowed them to touch my body, I gave head and one fucked me. My Master did not know until yesterday how much I really did not fancy these men. For those of you who struggle to understand "how could you?" then my advice is...It's amazing what you can do with your eyes closed and a vivid imagination! It doesn't matter when you have your eyes closed who is touching you...it's how they touch you that counts!
There are some tasks which don't appeal to me at all, both before I complete them and during.
Why don't I refuse?
My wish to please my master is greater than that of self. When I accepted the role as his slave then I accepted I had to fulfill his wishes, regardless of my fears and feelings.
When the day comes that I don't feel this way towards him, then that is the day I walk away.
I thrive on the praise I receive when I please him. Thank you Sir.
I get great pleasure knowing that my Master approves of me. That I am obedient to his every wish. That he trusts me to complete his challenges without question. And yes...sometimes I enjoy it afterall!
Edited Fri 2 Jan 04, 5:19 PM by LadyEmmaCavendish
