 |
| LadyEmmaCavendish |
Here I am 1 months slavery under my belt. (Not a belt that holds up trousers!) This has been the most erotic month of my entire life. I have completed tasks I would never have dreamed of 6 weeks ago. What? I hear you ask...
The first major breakthrough was wearing my ankle chain, a symbol of my submission. I was never was one for wearing jewellery let alone wearing an ankle chain, especially over black stockings. Yet I wear it 23 and a half hours a day. Why not 24? Because I remove it to bathe. I feel proud to wear it. Initially some people commented on it and I just said "It was a present". Now people don't comment but I wonder what they would say if I told them why I wear it. I have shared my ownership with some selected people. It's funny how you think you know someone until you tell them you have a master. There's a lot of ignorant people out there...I never realised. On the other hand some have been very positive, inquisitive and pleased that I have found solace in my life.
I enjoy the feeling of wind against my skin. How do I know this? Well, I have to take regular walks, wearing nothing more than a nightie, or my stockings and suspenders or sometimes nothing under my coat. Over the past month I have unbuttoned my coat for 20 sec's building up to 1 min at present. I love the exhibitionism and risk.
Speaking of exhibitionism, a time I remember fondly is the second time I met my master. We were taking the tube. I was sitting on the train, with my skirt raised and my wet pussy on display.
I have experienced new sensations on my skin. The feel of hot wax, dripping on my nipples and pussy. It was self inflicted, under order as punishment. Unfortunately for my master I loved this sensation and I am looking to be punished again in this way very soon!
My days are very structured; a morning text to greet my master, dressing as ordered, inserting fruit into my pussy (small apples, grapes, strawberries and tangerines), a morning to call at a specific time to ascertain I have fulfilled the orders correctly and I am clear about my daily tasks. I call again at dinner to update my master. After dinner I bathe at 8 and shave my pussy smooth. Dress in my red satin nightie and chat with my master. The discipline of this thrills me greatly, to know he controls everything I do in my life.
I am completely honest with my master, what is the point of pretending to be submissive if you're not? If that time ever comes that I do not enjoy pleasing him like I do now, then that is the time to finish this. (Don't get me wrong being honest is not easy!)
I have had to swallow a lot of pride recently, sharing bodily functions with my master that I have never discussed with anyone else. Discussing my financial status, in order to be able to fulfil my master's requirements. Allowing him to understand me fully. This is something I have never done, with anyone. I am a very private person, not discussing my thoughts and feelings openly. I like having an inner self that no one knows and now I am being told to share this and I find it extremely difficult. Difficult in two ways...the actually thinking about how I feel about things. In the past I have lived life for the minute, not reflecting at all on my emotions. Now I am being asked about them constantly. Sometimes I don't know what I feel...sometimes I know how I feel but I don't know how to put those feelings into words. It's hard to not ponder too long on the words too. Used to being aware of my words, in order to not cause offence, I find it very difficult to give "raw" emotion. I desire the ability to do this with my master. It is getting easier as he listens and understands. (That's not to say he always agrees!)
I am very keen to please my master and I will do things I wouldn't choose to. I enjoy pleasing him.
We are due to meet soon and he has told me he intends to spank me. I have never been spanked and I very much look forward to him reinforcing my position as slave.
Here's to next month!
Edited Wed 24 Dec 03, 6:13 PM by LadyEmmaCavendish
