Use of the third person: some questions (51)

Tue 19 Aug 08, 1:46 PM
Scribbles
UK(RH), 14 mths
I'm curious about the effects of referring to yourself in the third person. Does it bring the benefits that those who do so, or their partners, had hoped for? Are the benefits lasting, or do you find that it just becomes so close to "I" in your mind that they wear off? Do you find you use it by accident in circumstances where it isn't expected, or do you feel happy to use it all the time? If that relationship ended, and a subsequent dominant required you to use "I", how would you feel?
(I hope this thread can be spared becoming a rant against this practice from those who choose not to use it, no matter how strange or distasteful they find it.)
ETA, as an example: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/wicked_...
Edited Tue 19 Aug 08, 2:06 PM by Scribbles

19 Aug 08, 1:54 PM
Sunny_Disposition
12 mths Who does that?
Person: "What did you do yesterday, Sunny?" Sunny: "She went shopping"
Is that what you mean?

19 Aug 08, 1:57 PM
MrsDe_Winter
8 mths Sorry if I sound like a complete dunce, but why would anyone refer to themelves as the third person? It's irritating, and Mrs De Winter does not refer to herself as the third person!
To pretend to be happy could only be idiocy - the good lord Morrissey

19 Aug 08, 1:59 PM
Scribbles
UK(RH), 14 mths
The most common version is "this girl".
I've just received an interesting memo pointing out that some people use "it" and "the object", as a method of objectification.

19 Aug 08, 2:15 PM
condemned
UK, 8 yrs
Scribbles wrote:
The most common version is "this girl".
I've just received an interesting memo pointing out that some people use "it" and "the object", as a method of objectification.
Oh yes the third person is used a lot in this context.
And if i remember correctly redcat was very much into objectification.

19 Aug 08, 2:19 PM
wicked_teach
UK, 2 yrs
I think the use of the third person is very Gorean and tends to be used by those who are interested in the Master slave dynamic. As a poster of the example given I liked the prayer but it is not a dynamic i have with Cushla . I was once approached by a woman in Lycos who referred to herself in the third person and I found it intriguing.
I think it is all about the sublimation of the submissive's desires, the absolute surrender of self. personally I think that that would be very tiring for Master as well as slave. To take responsibility for another person to that extent would be difficult, if not impossible for, me since I like to feel that my sub enjoys herself in our play as much as I do. If you have that dynamic you can hardly ask her/him can you?
If we do not know pain can we recognise pleasure for can happiness exist without the knowledge of sadness
Women should be obscene and not heard......John Lennon
If you go to see the woman, do not forget the whip. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

19 Aug 08, 2:23 PM
DomRoss
UK(EH), 3 yrs
This is something which has annoyed me greatly in the past, and having spoken to the perpetrators they are unaware they're even doing it (for some reason this annoyed me even more), As far as I'm concerned its totally unnecessary, especially when you're trying to get to know someone and the first thing you have to do is deconstruct their entire sentences to try to work out what she's saying.
If only I could find out where it started I could kill the source :D
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright

19 Aug 08, 2:28 PM
syndee
UK, 2 yrs
I've always used it, always used it prior to bdsm, cos I've always regarded myself as someone other than who I present to be. I am able to switch between being a working professional person and "at home me" fairly easily- a lot of my life is compartmentalised, so it's not a problem.
Funnily enough one of my sprogs in his facebooke profile wrote "referring to hisself in the third person" as a hobby in his profile, which I was well suprised at, (so praps it's genetic?).
(I'd just take pains at this point to clarify that neither myself, nor any of my family, nor a single person whom we regard as extended family or friend has ever been associated with gor, and if they were, we would section them.)
In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.
Edited 19 Aug 08, 2:30 PM by syndee

19 Aug 08, 2:30 PM
Backdooruk
UK(BA), 9 yrs

saraxx wrote:
I found it needlessly, overly submissive,
Overly submissive? Why would the degree of submissiveness be a problem?
- Chris

Anyone with a brain is manipulable. Only the truly unimaginative are difficult to control.

19 Aug 08, 2:53 PM
Rocket_Pop
UK(SW), 5 mths
I think it could be hot if done on more "formal" occasions or as part of a scene or specific ritual but it wouldn't appeal to me as anything approaching habitual. It's mainly because I'm a literature student and it irks me, but it also reminds me of that terrible emo/scene/myspace trend of profiles that read:
"This girl likes kisses in the rain and starlight.
This girl likes the smell of grass and dancing.
This girl isn't what you think she is."
Etc etc...
I also dislike that level of objectification; I'm me, it's my identity, I'm never giving that up.

19 Aug 08, 3:05 PM
teufel_tanz
UK, 4 yrs
Whilst we don't use this in typing, we do in everyday life. It just seems right and a level of objectification, but then again objectification is something we enjoy and realise it isn't for everyone. It has spilled over into everyday situations with others on occasion but don't think that it has been noticed really.
A couple of poeple we converse with do use it when typing and again it is nice to see and read, a constant reminder of place and position.

Scribbles wrote:
Use of the third person: some questions
I'm curious about the effects of referring to yourself in the third person. Does it bring the benefits that those who do so, or their partners, had hoped for? Are the benefits lasting, or do you find that it just becomes so close to "I" in your mind that they wear off? Do you find you use it by accident in circumstances where it isn't expected, or do you feel happy to use it all the time? If that relationship ended, and a subsequent dominant required you to use "I", how would you feel?
(I hope this thread can be spared becoming a rant against this practice from those who choose not to use it, no matter how strange or distasteful they find it.)
ETA, as an example: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/wicked_...

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