This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 18 Aug 08, 12:59 PM unputdownable UK(SW), 3 yrs  |
oral sex is intrinsically submissive?!? I must be doing it wrong then. | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 1:02 PM planetqueen 4 yrs |
You feel that to satisfy a woman orally would be an act of submission?
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| 18 Aug 08, 1:06 PM Mad_Monk UK(BH), 4 yrs |
If I'm exploring receptivity to kink, I find a little tickling to submission, play-spanking and some gentle tying up test the waters quite effectively.
For the second date you might want to go further "He took a single sip of her pain and found it exquisite" | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 2:44 PM male_anger UK, 4 yrs |
in future if some imbecile suggests you have issues with women. just say, "no, love. i have issues with YOU" and then tell her to fuck off like you. i am fundamentally more decent than most humans on this planet. but i spent most of my teens and twenties being nice to women. and i got NOWHERE. heartbroken. rejected. treated like a doormat. i once got DUMPED by a woman and then had to go through the humiliation of finding out that personal things about my childhood (that i had confided in her when we were together) had been revealed to pretty much everyone she knew so now i no longer give a fuck. and its amazing the different response you get from women male anger ps. and before some dick starts saying i hate women i will just say this. youre wrong. i dont hate women. i pretty much hate EVERYBODY!!! pps. what i am trying to say to the original poster. if he will listen. is that if someone doesnt like your kinkiness. then fuck em off. it wasnt meant to be. get rid and start looking again
Edited 18 Aug 08, 2:57 PM by male_anger | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 3:01 PM electronic_doll UK(SW), 4 yrs £ |
Then that makes two of us. I'm sure that strapping someone down and teasing them with your tongue but not letting them come is on the more Dom side of things. I might have to check the rule book on that one. However, not wanting to do anything because you don't feel it's on your list of Domly things is fair enough. I'd just be honest and say that it's not really something you are interested in. Our hopes and expectations | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 3:45 PM TaintedDesire UK(YO), 7 yrs |
I was dating a 'vanilla' a few years back, everything was going fine, until I told him what I liked, well the look on his face said it all, you would have thought I had suddenly grown three heads or something, lol. The relationship didn't last long after that, and I decided afterwards that it's much easier to stick to dating people already in the lifestyle. td
"A masochist walked up to a sadist, and said 'Hurt me'. The sadist said 'No' and walked away." | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 3:56 PM Skylord UK(PO), 4 yrs  |
Going down on your sub can be wonderfully dominating, especially when combined with bondage and, eg, nipple torture and/or a butt plug. Her pleasure is entirely under your control. Try it and see. Just approach it with a dominant mindset rather than feeling that you are being submissive. As for bringing kink into a relationship: Perhaps decide first how important it is to you. Is it really essential? It certainly is for me! I suggest raising it as early as possible. A good way would be light heartedly threatening a spanking and see how she responds. Make a bit of a joke of it. I did exactly this and got the response "mmmmmm...that might be rather fun". Then it was a question of exploring limits and finding a balance that suits us both. If it really is essential for you and she just isn't into it....get out and move on. Good luck! | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 4:34 PM afterlife UK(PR), 6 yrs |
I think that a good strategy is to say early on something like: "I used to have a girlfriend who really enjoyed it when I ...."
Don't say this in bed, don't say that it was you last partner. This way the vanilla will know what is 'on the menu' and can ask about it or not. | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 4:47 PM overlap UK(CF), 7 yrs |
Count me as a third. As I understand it, a dominant decides what happens and when etc (and 'topping from the bottom' is when a 'sub' tries to make these decisions). So, for me, a 'top' can do what she or he damn well pleases. There's a story (I don't know if it's true) that when Cybill Shepherd was dating Elvis Presley she had to struggle to persuade him to go down on her (the 'King' didn't do that sort of thing, apparently). Once she did, he loved it! (The only source for this is Ms Shepherd herself.) Some men just do. Some women like cocks, it doesn't have to be anything to do with the patriarchy etc. Reason is and ought to be the slave of the passions and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them. | ||
| 18 Aug 08, 5:35 PM Dana_Phais UK, 6 yrs |
Apart from branding these are things my first hubby and I shared in our nilla life (we had never heard of BDSM) I am no expert but maybe if you don't make it sound like what you want is kinky, just make it seem as normal as the missionary position it would work out okay? I wish you luck with it. If you can't be good at least be safe. |
