This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 29 Jul 08, 12:37 AM fluffy_welsh_angel UK(DN), 6 yrs   |
For people who I know and like I am very tactile, love cuddles and stuff. But it has to be on my terms. If I want to snuggle I do, if someone else wants to, and I don't, then tough  Mew | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 9:59 AM Original_Rebel UK(CT), 10 yrs |
Hugs are always nice to give and recieve  Well depending on who with of course lol"No wise man ever wished to be younger."
Jonathan Swift
Irish essayist, novelist, & satirist (1667 - 1745) | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 12:32 PM silversub1947 UK, 5 yrs |
I totally agree. I can't stand this kissing (or, even worse, air-kissing) on both cheeks when greeting a person you hardly know. Our more hot-blooded European neighbours, can bring it off with panache, but for the reserved Brits, it just comes across as false and insincere. Of course, maybe that's because I'm a cynic! Yeah! This time the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't a train | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 1:05 PM Shaydes UK(W), 9 yrs |
Add me to the 'very tactile' list. It can be, and has been misinterpreted a few times, but I am (at risk of an 'oo err missus' type comment here) a very touchy feely person. This isn't a hijack; more of a refraction; but I think there is a definite difference in the way people kiss when meeting up with friends too. I am more than happy with the hug and the peck on the cheek, but some scene friends want to kiss on the lips. It's still a peck rather than a proper kiss, but it is something that I find odd, especially as these people have never been, and never will be more than just friends. Hell, there are 1 or 2 friends that I really WANT to have a more intimate kiss with - but that's the magic word. Kissing on the lips is a sign of intimacy (hence why most professional establishments disallow it - public knowledge), and that is what makes it feel odd. So would it be appropriate to ask all the tactile people how they kiss their scene and non-scene friends and whether intimacy is the deciding factor? I'll start a new thread if folks/admin think that would be appropriate. EniGmA === | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 1:09 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £ |
I'm very tactile. But I'm interested by your question Tope as my family are the most untactile people I've ever met, so much so that I think they've helped contribute to my kinks. I'm facinated by touching, not touching, restriction, barriers etc...etc... I think it comes from not being exposed to that whilst growing up. | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 1:14 PM just_tope 6 yrs |
I come from a family of huggers. We're not overly tactile but I always have been with close friends and especially partners, very much so. Since being involved in kink I've found that both partners and friends are not very tactile at all. I don't like the false hug/kiss thing. When I hug I do it properly and with feeling. The closest I get to doing that with a stranger is when it's someone I've spoken to online but not met yet, in which case they're already a friend and will get a full on tope hug. As said in the original post, perhaps it's just me. I'm not very sceney but the majority of my friends tend to restrict tactiliousness (new word? lol) to their own partners and I've been lucky enough (sarcasm) to be with people who dont even like holding hands. YKIOK, but I reserve the right to chastise you telephathically. | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 1:21 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £ |
I suppose I'm not that surprised that people involved in kink would often choose not to touch. I think that lots of us have fascinations with restriction and control - sometimes bordering on a bit of OCD! - so I can understand why you'd find that. In my dealings with the kink world, I don't think that I have - but because of my upbringing, I've always used restriction, touching or not touching within my scenes....and I suppose I'm hypersensitive about how a touch at just the right time, or to restrict it can be incredibly powerful. I know I'm going off on a tangent here. I find being with my family incredibly frustrating as they're so uncomfortable with touch.
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| 29 Jul 08, 4:42 PM lick2spank UK(RG), 5 yrs |
Agreed, I'm happy to hug and display affection in public, basically I do whatever takes my fancy at the time be it touchy feely or playing the bad cop/devils advocate for a while. Variety and all that. | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 7:01 PM Red_Spark UK(LE), 5 yrs |
It's funny, but I was never a tactile person with anyone, until I met my current slave, so you could say maybe my expansion of the kink side of things brought out a more tactile nature in me. I'm still not a tactile person with anyone else, but maybe it is a question of finding the right person... and/or feeling in control of the person/situation? Maybe I perceived contact as a threat in some subconscious way? (@_@) "Be quiet and come with me. I won't betray you." | ||
| 29 Jul 08, 7:22 PM Mistress_Avralivia UK(RG), 4 yrs £ |
Never heard anyone express that so well.... I think that is how I work too. "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." |
