Posted by bits_swales on Thu 10 Jul 08, 9:11 PM to bits_swales's blog.
I seem to do a lot of that lately....wandering aimlessly that is.
i've reached a point in my life where i'm not entirely sure if i know what i want any more. Well relationship wise anyway. i know i'm sub, but life over the last 4 years or so have made me very cautious and tested my trust to almost breaking point.
i don't think i want 24/7, yet at one time it was all i dreamed of. Now i'm not so sure. Not that i'm indicisive mind you! lol
i suppose with all the knocks i've become self protective and independent, although not necessarilly in a good way. Walls someone once broke down have been built even higher and i'm not convinced anyone walks this earth who is capable of pulling them back down again.
Isn't is strange how you can be in a relationship with someone and still feel so desperately lonely and unhappy and yet be on your own and not feel that way?
What i wouldn't give to find a soul mate to confide in, tell anything to and trust totally. Someone who makes me feel loved, cared for and not judged.
Edited Thu 10 Jul 08, 9:12 PM by bits_swales
