This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Thu 26 Jun 08, 7:19 PM Alastrina UK, 4 yrs  |
Ok, I guess I fell into the trap of being emotionally attached to my sub, he brought me into this and I have to say, I really really enjoy it!! he has always had a vanilla girlfriend but she lived a long way off and he didnt see much of her. After a roller coaster 4 months with him, he is now moving away, not intentionally to be closer to her but just the luck of the draw where his new job is. They have decided to move in with each other, see how things go and although I have to say I will not be keeping my fingers crossed for them (wicked!!), it may work. he has asked to remain my sub, come and see me every few weekends and continue our D/s fun. I would love to say yes, would love to remain his Domme but I do wonder if the emotional attatchment I have for him would destroy me. Jealousy that he will be with her, annoyed that I cant totally control his actions or see that he does as I ask. she will never be a part of this life, in his words, she would freak!! So, in conclusion, is he trying to just get the best of both worlds?, am I trying to undermine his relationship? Has anyone been in this kind of situation and found that it worked or did they just end up Angry and resentful. | |
| 26 Jun 08, 7:21 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
Does she know about your relationship? | |
| 26 Jun 08, 7:36 PM Lovelace UK(LS), 4 yrs  |
I think you have answered your own question in your thoughts there. If you wern't emotionally attached then yes it probably would work but because you feel for him now and as you say, he has interests elsewhere this would cause problems. I think you need to move on and find another sub, one who can commit to you and you alone. The first relationship is always hard to let go of, but it is probably the one you will most value and learn from as time goes on. Have fun in your search for pastures new. Choozy. x One day my ship will come in, and knowing my luck, I'll be at the airport !! | |
| 26 Jun 08, 7:54 PM BrianC UK(TQ), 6 yrs |
Sounds like a nightmare scenario with the potential for everyone getting hurt. And you're hurting already. I suspect the integrated adult decision is to cut the ties and move on. That can be difficult if what you're moving on to is unattractive, so the thing to do is enrich your life so you don't miss him so much. And find people closer to home to have fun with! | |
| 26 Jun 08, 8:00 PM Alastrina UK, 4 yrs |
She doesnt know about our relationship, she knows we are friends and I think subbie is naive to think that is all she thinks but hey, if thats what he wants to think, I wont stop him. | |
| 26 Jun 08, 8:07 PM metalmiss UK(CR), 9 yrs |
And it doesn't concern you in the slightest in being involved with him, as to what kind of person could cheat on their partner? If he's lying to her then he'll lie to you too.. Methinks you're better off looking for somebody who's worth your time. "I would never harm you darling, but there is a world of difference between hurt and harm." - Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns Edited 26 Jun 08, 8:09 PM by metalmiss | |
| 26 Jun 08, 8:14 PM MasterVilosSlave UK(CB), 6 yrs |
I'm happy to hear that you have found and love the scene. Remember you don't need him to explore it. As a female domme you have the absolute pick of the litter, try going to a couple of events and just see how much attention you get. As to emotional attachment thats your decision entirely; what you need to ask yourself is are you going to be happy with him when he's in another relationship and you possibly getting dropped by the way and if no is the situation likely to change into one you'll be happy with? I'd suggest getting another sub, see if you feel the same way. That which does not kill us, makes us stranger... | |
| 26 Jun 08, 8:53 PM Trussedworthy UK(NW), 6 yrs |
Never a truer word said. Whatever you're looking for you will find. |
