This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 20 May 08, 12:57 AM Toots UK(S), 7 yrs   |
Way back when I first joined here when I was meeting someone I would ask of my friends "How do I know if it's right, if she desires what I desire??" The answer was pretty much "You just do!!"
Not helpful at the time as it left me wondering and a little confused, that is until it happenned When it's right, no words need to be spoken... Ahhh the illusive click, so wonderful but so difficult to achieve but very very much worth the wait.... Everything in time.... If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?....... | ||
| 20 May 08, 11:42 PM silaster UK, 8 yrs |
Hi Penwiggle Big Kisses from me, but who is 'me' lol I agree with you on the am I worthy stuff, it is a huge turn off to me. It takes two people to make a relationship whether it is a ten minute flogging at a munch or a long term 24/7 etc etc etc. My other pet annoyance is Doms who say 'I will test you, push you' Yawn. I will push right back. Not because I am a brat but because I want to know if they can take what they give and if they will fall over at the first hurdle and fall back on the parental favourite line of 'Because I say so' It takes alot for me to want to play with someone, and DAMN they had better be respectful and worth it. Yes, I really did say respectful, I want their respect when I am crawling on the floor, eating from a dog bowl, being spat on and generally begging to be used. It takes something to do that for another person, if it was easy I would not want to do it. Love 'shyslave'
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| 20 May 08, 11:53 PM rubesque UK, 4 yrs |
Ahh.... no one said it would be easy (but no one said it would be this hard)! Kisses to you beautiful one xxxx
Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds- Albert Einstein. | ||
| 21 May 08, 4:39 AM SinPar US, 12 yrs |
That's not a question I'd ever ask, though. I'd know the answer to that question before I ever approached someone about being my submissive. I'd also make sure that they knew me well enough to be able to make an informed decision from their side. I'm not into "suddenly occurring" relationships. I still think it's my decision to ask and not the submissive's to ask me, though. I'm old-fashioned like that. I'm not saying that's how everyone should do it, just how I do. SinPar
-- The weak are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern, and like vampires they suck our life's blood. (Bette Davis) | ||
| 21 May 08, 8:10 PM siouxdoo UK(ME), 4 yrs |
LOL | ||
| 21 May 08, 8:53 PM RastaPasta 9 yrs |
I would say you have to be worthy of each other. You'll only know this after spending some quality time getting to know each other. I also have been approached by those eijits who ask this of you, first memo/e-mail they send you. This tends to mean to me they are certainly NOT worthy of me.
If you are willing to look at another person's behaviour towards you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than as a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time, cease to react to them | ||
| 22 May 08, 5:23 AM SinPar US, 12 yrs |
I'm the part of the relationship that shoulders the responsibility for that relationship when it comes to D/s or M/s. I like to be the initiator. It's a component of dominance for me. It's not like that for everyone and I don't fault people for being different. All I can say is what has worked for me. I'm not immune to someone's handkerchief being dropped in front of me (metaphorically speaking). There is a slight but discernible difference to me between picking up the lady or gentleman's handkerchief and accepting their submission at *their* behest. It just feels backwards to me. One of the observations I have about the current scene with people of my generation is that it's gotten very.. subcentric. Everything centers on the sub and the sub's happiness/fulfillment/needs being met. To suggest that dominants have similar needs is to be labeled a churlish insensitive boor in some circles. It's about equal partners in specific roles. I just happen to be pretty clear about how I want things to go. I'm willing to wait a long time for a person that's the right fit. I don't see that gender is at all relevant in dominance. I know other mileage varies-it's just that I've never seen gender as a handicap or particular help. SinPar
-- The weak are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern, and like vampires they suck our life's blood. (Bette Davis) Edited 22 May 08, 5:49 AM by SinPar | ||
| 22 May 08, 6:39 AM gipsydelight UK(PO), 7 yrs |
Whenever some uses the line "Are you worthy?" or something of that ilk, i tend to run very fast in the opposite direction. Iīve got three different ideas and reasons why this type of questions rings alarm bells: 1. i like things to be quite normal and sensible. I always think that sort of line comes from someone who is wrapped up in a fantasy and hasnīt much experience in interacting with females. 2.Surely there are millions of ways a man can determine if a woman is worthy of his attentions and a lot of those should run through his brain in the the first nano second of meeting. Once the question is asked then you know heīs been struggling to find a sub and anyone will do, and you donīt fit his ideal. 3. Heīs really wondering if heīs worthy of you, but turns his insecurities on to you. So heīs really pretty insecure and the confident dominant character he is trying to present is all bluster. |
