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| Degenerate |
on Sun 11 May 08, 9:56 AM to Degenerate's blog.
I thought given that my head is so far about the parapet now it might be an idea to give some background info about myself to clarify what I am up to here, what my motivation is and why I come across the way I do - essentially explain 'who I am' for those who haven't noticed me til recently and missed the snippets I have mentioned over time.
I am 35 and a single parent to three children. I am polyamorous and have several long term partners. I'm born female, but do not consider myself a woman. I have ADHD. I have been practicing BDSM since 19 years of age. I have been an out queer / pansexual and poly person since 19. Up until I was 24 I lived a pretty ordinary life, I had a fantastic job in business to business telemarketing design and implementation (in the days before computers told people what to say it used to actually be a skill!) , a fantastic social life, played in a band in manchester and was supporting my partner, a musician.
When I was 24 (1996) I had a baby and developed a serious ()genetically inherited) disease which almost killed me, I am now stuck with it for the rest of my life. I spend a long amount of time each day resting in bed because it reduces my pain levels and leaves me more able to do stuff the rest of the time. I use a wheelchair some of the time, when I am very ill, when there may be no seating and when I am on a 'big day out'. Due to the problems associated with having a disabled child and also health and access problems myself, I pretty quickly switched on to the fact that myself and my daughter had both almost died through negative attitudes about disability and there was something called the Disabled people's movement out there which had been campaigning for change since I was a baby.
see a paper on the social model of disability: http://www.leeds.ac.uk/disability-studies/archiv...
see a paper on disability history http://www.leeds.ac.uk/disability-studies/archiv...
I got involved in that movement around 1997 - basically getting trained up by the incredible people who began that movement not so very long ago in various activist skills, from skills within organisations, to using my arts for activism, and so on. Then I joined the Disabled people's direct action network D.A.N. as well and started going on demonstrations.
some examples from the top of the google list
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/news/btn/danhurricane....
http://www.johnnypops.demon.co.uk/poetry/article...
DAN is a network of disabled people who employ Ghandi style non-violent civil disobedience tactics as a last resort to push through positive change. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_disobedience . Via DAN I learned street demo skills like marching, rallying, blocking roads, occupying buildings, leafletting, sneaking into places they don't want us, how to hold up buses, trains, trams, and make other dramatic more artistic gestures, how to talk with the press, how to liase with the police, how to build contacts, resources and allies, how to write press releases and reports - and then how to secretly help organise demonstrations and bring others on board. I was arrested only once at parliament, because I crawled under the gate to rescue a colleague of mine who cannot stand up from being trodden on by police. I was held at Charing Cross police station fro 7 hours and let go because I am willing to admit my actions - I make a point of only breaking laws I am willing to admit to 
. photos from that demonstration - that's me with blue hair http://www.youreable.com/TwoShare/getPage/01News...
In the disabled people's movement I am relatively well known for being in DAN and also performing activist songs, drawing political images and poetry, and also for some of my writing. a couple of my colleagues from London are *possibly* known by some here too.
Meanwhile...
I used to keep my involvement with BDSM quiet. I finally found other community people on the internet when I was about 24 ( on bondage.com ) and through this started to go out in the community - to club lash. but i never wanted to be out. My work as an activist was all about fighting the abuse against our community and I thought nobody would understand me as a loving sadist.
I saw Backlash and Spanner... I thought - I really should try and help more. But I didn't want to. the BDSM community is the one place I am not 'at work'. and I thought - lets face it, if my biggest problem in life is the right to do BDSM I'd be a very lucky person. I didn't think this stuff was important enough to get involved and I thought it might destroy some of my other work. and I just wanted to have a good time. I supported in small ways by signing things etc. I thought what Backlash and Spanner were saying and doing was the right thing and that they would succeed.
I held back useful skills. cos i just wanted to have a good time. I still feel guilty about it now.
A year or so ago I joined IC because it's the only place I have found with great discussion forums about BDSM. This is a marvellous website. We are so lucky to have it - things like this did not exist when I was 19 and was relying on luck of having met someone who knew what they were doing.
On 1st April this year, all the photos dissappeared and were replaced with the image on my profile of Gordon Brown which reads "Censored by Gordon Brown?". It was utter chaos. There must have been about 50 thread here about it. It was clear people really care about our images. I decided it was time to pull my finger out before all that energy was wasted. And it finally sunk in the kind of impact this CJIB was going to have on our community.
I submitted a testimony/article to the Backlash website, http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/wv_clair.html then I came out to all of my colleagues by publicising them in my normal work forum.
Let me be brutally honest. I could not give a flying fuck - in principle - about the right to wank material. What I do care about is the infringement of our civil liberties, the threat of 3 years in prison for harmless criminals, the fact that they will now be able to police the bedroom and then use it to enforce the Spanner ruling, and the effect this is likely to have on our community. I believe the BDSM community saves lives and saves people from abuse. So - the penny finally dropped for me and others - and now here I am with my head in a breeze above the parapet. Because as far as I am concerned it's now a metter of life and death, of freedom or imprisonment - and about the right to my sexuality - the same as the gay rights I have been taking advantage of for all my adult life. so I cannot allow myself to not do whatever I can.
So I have looked at the situation to see how I can get involved and what I can do and applied my skills accordingly, filling gaps, spreading news, offering tools to fight back. Along with others I have spoken strongly about encouraging each other to do what we could. But I cannot apologise for this. I asked for advice about what we need to do and shared it. I offered to help people. I offered support and encouragement to people's great ideas. and energy. Then i offered my face as well, my name (my reputation), my phone number, my hotel room. and stacks of time.
A big risk for me which will come at personal cost, make no mistake. But it is a risk I feel willing and able to take, and if I cannot with a background like mine, nobody else can be expected to. I cannot speak gently and blandly - I also don't believe that speaking that way would have managed to get the things done I have managed to help do. I am an activist, and I realise the way I address things is unfamiliar to some, but I make no apologies for this - I think the evidence of whether it works is pretty obvious. It makes me sad if some people find my feisty approach difficult, but I know I cannot be someone else and can only use the skills I personally have. I cannot be someone else to make others feel more comfortable.
I am just one person in a large network of people trying to do anything positive and useful I can. I hope all of us here keep trying to do that and bring whatever skills we can offer to the table as we have been doing.
An old DAN quote - *we're doing this because we have to*
I've joined the campaign now and there is no going back for me. and I am willing to use any and all of my skills to help do anything we can to stop the government commencing sections 62-64 as currently worded of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill. It is an attack on my sexuality and an infringement of civil liberties - i also believe it to be dangerous.
Edited Tue 31 Mar 09, 3:35 PM by Degenerate
| 11 May 08, 10:12 AM LeatherDaddi UK, 7 yrs |
You are an amazing person, your passion for all you believe in leaves us both humbled and ashamed, ashamed/embaressed that we can't be as "out" as some are. You are one hell of a loving sadist, an incredible Domme, and a beautiful partner/lover to those who share your heart. We are proud and honoured to call you "family". always with Respect Lee& fck
I am the One who caresses her soul.. Edited 11 May 08, 10:14 AM by LeatherDaddi | |
| 11 May 08, 10:29 AM Temuchin UK(M), 11 yrs  |
Cant add anything to what has already been said... Keep up the good work Dave No Kate, you can't not ever ever ever, it just won't happen - deal with it..... | |
| 11 May 08, 10:43 AM spirifer UK, 6 yrs |
Seconded! The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation - Pierre Trudeau | |
| 11 May 08, 11:08 AM faeryboi 6 yrs |
Your courage, determination and strength of character shine like a beacon amid the sea of apathy. I am often in awe of your conviction, not just about the bdsm side of life but you about your own drive and just about who you are.
Its a privelege to know you even if at times you scare me with your mind You are bloody marvellous xx When i look into your eyes........ i see the back of your head !! | |
| 11 May 08, 12:32 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
I've known you for a few years, although we haven't met in several, which is a shame! You've always been a firebrand, eloquent and tireless in your campaigning. You're also very "human", warm and funny. I've been amazed by the sheer determination and endless personal effort you've put in to this campaign. Good on yer! | |
| 11 May 08, 3:42 PM GentleButch UK(M), 4 yrs |
A warrior spirit... an honour to know. With deepening respect, -sb | |
| 12 May 08, 12:04 AM Grownup_Frankie UK, 4 yrs |
She's a sort of Joan of Arc only even more prone to riding into the mouth of hell without waiting for reinforcements. Never listens to a word I say about proper bedtimes or eating regular meals, or about not riding into the mouth of hell so frequently, so lets not make her too much of a saint here. She is a Little Devil. And quite magnificent.
PORNOGRAPHY BILL - LESS THAN A MONTH TO GO!!! ACT NOW BEFORE WE LOSE OUR PHOTOS!! Go to - http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/ or send a letter to a Lord, you can chose one from http://www.theyworkforyou.com/peers and follow the links to send a letter. | |
| 12 May 08, 1:47 AM Degenerate UK(M), 5 yrs   |
ROFL
pah... mouth of hell! that's a rabbit hole... gah! now you know I'm not in bed! thanks for your kind messages people.
Sign porn petition (re CJIB and 'extreme images'! http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/extreme-images/ Backlash: http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/index.html CJIB Wiki on seenoevil: http://www.seenoevil.org.uk/wiki/index.php/Main_... IC thread - Just the facts about the CJIB: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/boards/activi Edited 12 May 08, 1:48 AM by Degenerate | |
| 12 May 08, 5:46 PM Snowpard 4 yrs |
And we wouldn't want you to, you're wonderful the way you are I wish I could follow that mentality, so so much. I often sit and think ''why the hell did I do that when it wasn't my fault'' You bring hope to us all and if I can strive to follow some of your beliefs, particularly the one above, I will be a much stronger person Edited for silly mistakes E-petition against CJIB: http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/extreme-images/ (every little helps!) Beautiful gothic/victorian style rings: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5234429 | |
| 13 May 08, 4:47 AM foibey UK(M), 7 yrs |
Congrats on this. I wish I could think of something I felt would be useful to do about this, but more I wish I could get my arse in gear as much as you do on activism, because any amount of kicking up a fuss is better than sitting and watching history pass by. moo |
