outed by the news of the world (98)

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4 May 08, 1:01 PM
Pierced_Knight
UK, 2 yrs

Lady_Ice wrote:
I fail to see the News in this article
I think that the 'news' in this article is quite simple and relatively dull...you cannot engage in work as a Pro Dom/me for financial reward if the contract of your primary employment does not allow it. Simple as.
It's just a shame that such dull news can be spiced up with the spin of something kinky.
This really is a difficult call for people to make. If you have a job that does not allow you to work as a Pro but you do it anyway, you have to keep it in mind that you 'could' get outed at some point because it will ALWAYS make a good story (for a tabloid). If you work as a Pro Domme and publicly advertise it but don't want anyone but paying clients to find out, again, you have to be aware that naming and shaming someone who would be gutted also makes a fun story (for a tabloid). I think it just comes down to an integrity call (regrettably) for those that engage in this financially rewarding work.
Think about it...fully 'out' Pro Dom/mes never make into these articles in tabloids, it's only ever those that want to keep it hidden (for whatever personal reasons). 'Out' Pro Dom/mes only ever get lauded in magazines such as Bizarre.
This is a sad world that we live in. Unhappiness sells. Fact. Media make money from unhappiness and make even more money from unhappiness evolved from kink. The sadder fact is that there will always be lowlife cunts who grass these people up to the media. The risks are there, we have to ask ourselves if the reward is worth the risks.
My heartfelt feelings go out to Saffy and Littleboots. I am so sorry that this happened to you and I hope that you both recover from it soon.
Regards,
Pierced Knight.

Educate to Liberate! Liberation through Education!
"ci, jian, bugan wei tianxia xian"
Edited 4 May 08, 1:03 PM by Pierced_Knight

4 May 08, 2:05 PM
MLeigh
UK, 3 yrs
£ Y!
Oh Saffy, I so feel for you, huge supportive hugs
Leigh
I go to the Newport munch

4 May 08, 2:21 PM
Miss_Simone_I
UK(CB), 2 yrs
Y!
My thoughts and best wishes are with Littleboots and Saffy and I hope they both know anything that I can do to help them in any way is offered.
Hugs to you both and know that you have many friends behind you both 100 %
Simone x
=^_^= SIMONE =^o^=
** Carpe Diem **

4 May 08, 3:23 PM
delicioussub
UK(RM), 7 yrs
Y!

manc_dog wrote:
i dont doubt for a moment the the woman in question is a really nice woman, but my point remains the same, if you poke your head out someone will take a shot at it, and my comment on the pro scene in general not just domme's is based on 20 + years in the scene, its fact that an awful lot of pro's are not into it and never take part in the scene unless cash is involved, but its simply a good way to make cash.

Just to clarify then, it's ok to ruin them as far as you're concerned?
deelish
Yes, I do realise my gob is writing cheques my arse can't cash, but I have a very accomodating banker.
Edited 4 May 08, 3:24 PM by delicioussub

4 May 08, 4:00 PM
ClassAct2005
UK, 3 yrs
Sadly that's so. We needed various actions in the 50s and 60s before we legalised male homosexuality in, I think, 1961. Over 40 years later there are still a lot of people who don't accept that as acceptable behaviour but many many fewer than in the 1950s so a change in attitude successfully took place which may be could happen with other forms of sexuality too.

Kitti_Whittaker wrote:
I think these stories help with that a great deal the only problem is peoples careers are ruined in the process.

ClassAct2005 wrote:
If there weren't moral outrage there would be no story so in a sense you need a change in public attitude that (a) it's fine to pay for sex and (b) there is nothing unusual about BDSM. That will be a long time coming.

4 May 08, 4:06 PM
Cuddle_Slut
23 mths
ClassAct2005 wrote:
Sadly that's so. We needed various actions in the 50s and 60s before we legalised male homosexuality in, I think, 1961. Over 40 years later there are still a lot of people who don't accept that as acceptable behaviour but many many fewer than in the 1950s so a change in attitude successfully took place which may be could happen with other forms of sexuality too.
I do hope so
Support http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/ . //We need to contact our MP's NOW http://www.writetothem.com/ . Ask them to support Baroness Howe's call for a select committee and take out [CJIB Part 5] Section 63 until they report. Or it's law on 9th May.

4 May 08, 4:26 PM
manc_dog
9 mths
delicioussub wrote:

manc_dog wrote:
i dont doubt for a moment the the woman in question is a really nice woman, but my point remains the same, if you poke your head out someone will take a shot at it, and my comment on the pro scene in general not just domme's is based on 20 + years in the scene, its fact that an awful lot of pro's are not into it and never take part in the scene unless cash is involved, but its simply a good way to make cash.

Just to clarify then, it's ok to ruin them as far as you're concerned?
deelish
I never said nor implied anything like that, funny though that my profile views have gone from 7 to 80+ just today and now i get replies from people i memo'd weeks ago that i will not be replying to, it just goes to show people like controvesy and thats what the press people live on, ive been at pains to point out that on a personal level i feel for the woman in the paper, but i still think she has only herself to blame, its my opinion to which i'm entitled ?, or do we all have to agree with each other on here ?????

4 May 08, 4:35 PM
lizziebldn
UK, 2 yrs
Master_Robin wrote:
As you can see Saffy,you have our full support.
i have never met you Saffy but my thoughts are with you - i cannot believe that this piece of tosh is possibly going to have such devastating effects
i never buy newspapers full stop and this type of drivel just ensures i never will
there is nothing more i can say that has not been said already but i echo the view that we should stick togerher and be proud of who we are
we are all much more than bdsm - and that is the point this silly newspaper fails to understand - we are all very special unique individuals who enjoy a variety of different things - as as already been said we harm no-one

4 May 08, 4:36 PM
Jahc99
UK, 2 yrs

manc_dog wrote:
....., but i still think she has only herself to blame, its my opinion to which i'm entitled ?, or do we all have to agree with each other on here ?????

Well, I regard your attitude as one of the most loathesome and despicable I have ever encountered. FYI, one of those profile hits was me, putting you on ignore. I hold your 'opinion' in total and utter contempt.
ETA: Not least because....

manc_dog wrote:
......pro dom/mes imo only exploit peoples wants and needs for cash anyway, most of them aren't "into it" for real anyway,
....reveals you hold boring and long ago worn out anti-pro prejudice. Your postings reveal not an 'opinion', but bigottry.
If you persist on saying that anyone who advertises only has themselves to blame when the filth of the gutter press do their damnedest to destroy their lives, I hope they never see your 'advert' on here.
The people who fall foul of those scum deserve the support of us all. I think you should be ashamed of yourself for undermining that.
And don't bother replying, I won't bother reading.
why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
Edited 4 May 08, 5:08 PM by Jahc99

4 May 08, 4:55 PM
Sleazyweazel
UK, 12 mths
Now, I swore several years ago to retire from the forums (fora?). Why? Let's just say "Special Olympics" springs to mind... :P
But, after reading the preceding 8 pages I feel compelled to end my sabbatical Why? In support of what my learned colleagues have said.
Firstly, there seems to be some confusion between someone's private and professional lives. I was under the impression the "pro" in pro-domme referred to it being a profession (rather than... never mind). One's private life may be private, but one's professional life (albeit whilst moonlighting) is not - particularly if it is up for scrutiny on a public website. Regardless of whether this is "right", it is a fact of life.
Secondly, as a pro-fessional in the public sector I am acutely aware of the slightly paranoid attitude my employers have to their public image. I believe my own professional standards state "you must be a paragon of Truth, Justice, and Britannia - whether you are in your starched white uniform, or not". In other words, "you put a foot wrong, inside work or out, and we can roast you for it". This doesn't just apply to my sexuality - I hypothesise that if I posted a pic of myself in my KKK robes on some website my employers would be somewhat less than amused. I doubt that teaching is any less paranoid, given the media perception of the gang-of-paedo's-waiting-behind-every-bush-to-ravage -our-'angels'. Pfff, they fucking wish...
Thirdly, the analogies between the current attitudes to ... us (for lack of a better term - define 'bdsm' anyone?) and homosexuality 50 years ago are helpful. It is seen as a choice rather than a legitimate sexuality. We are being judged solely upon our sexual acts, rather than the underlying relationship - akin to homosexuality being seen as "bum-sex" and no more. The problem is that there will not be a sea-change in public opinion while bdsm/pervs/us/whatever are seen as a fringe group and somewhat comical (and gimp masks do make people laugh, trust me).
However, I don't believe it was the flamboyant antics of stereotypical Scene-Queens who made homosexuality more palatable to Joe Public; but the more restrained examples of normal(ish), ordinary(ish), everyday men and women who were brave enough to come out - not merely to the nearest club under cover of darkness, but to their nearest and dearest.
Until that day, ladies and gentlemen, until that day...
Edited 4 May 08, 6:38 PM by Sleazyweazel

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