This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.
| 16 May 08, 10:04 AM Mistress_Keene 9 yrs £ |
Ways in which you can find out if you are likely to have a great session with a professional Mistress. First look at her website. Does it look original, interesting, showing her creativity and ability to communicate well. If that seems to hit the right buttons with you, check thoroughly that what she like sand offers is the kind of stuff you are into. Think about her attitude, presentation, looks, ideas....does she seem to be a woman who is thoughtful, smart, attractive to you, in possession of the dominant attitudes you admire. Good, now, communicate with her..fill in her site application form, send her an e-mail, talk to her on the phone. Does she still seem right for you? Do think with your brain and not your cock. Arrange to see her at a convenient time, plan ahead for the session, relax, give up control to her when you meet her and let her as a competent, experienced Domme take the lead. For me, my website has been my greatest asset. The kind of subs I like to attract appreciate that my site gives them a window into the mind and desires of their potential Mistress. It is uncompromising but means I get to play with subs I really like. It self selects and equally weeds out those without brains or the correct attitude for me. As you know, it is important that a Mistress is really enjoying herself or no session will be as good an experience as it could be. "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other" Emma ( Ch 13) Jane Austen 1816 | ||
| 18 May 08, 3:02 PM simon10den UK, 7 yrs  |
Have to add that its very rare that I have had a negative experience (as a client) - at worst its been a laugh on both sides and at best it's been truly sublime. To agree with most of whats been said on here its all about communications and once you have passed over the notes, if you can put the monetary aspects behind you it generally works for both I think.
Anyway - has always been a bit gulliable | ||
| 18 May 08, 7:27 PM Ms_Tytania 6 yrs |
So in the interest of research and to help other subs/slaves/painsluts/whotevah, how do you choose a potential Domme? I'm asking you because there's been a lot of talk on this thread about choosing with your (generic you) dick. It's been argued that is the reason why so many clients end in the hands of less than reputable Dommes. It's also been argued that it's inevitable that a man will, by default, choose with his dick and hope for the best. What's you opinion? And more important: what's the secret of your success? Cultivate your inner whore Edited 18 May 08, 7:28 PM by Ms_Tytania | ||
| 18 May 08, 8:59 PM simon10den UK, 7 yrs |
Interesting question, so I guess its a couple of things really - firstly (as been said before) the (pro)dommes website is a great starter (although I always get worried by incrediably long menus - I always wonder if this is just splatter advertising) and then primarily a detailed (without cybering) e-mail and phone call to discuss exactly the session outline being looked for. Personally, I treat each phone call/e-mail/visit etc as if talking too/meeting a colleague, I don't really consider it a business arrangement as such until the money changes hands and then only for that awkward 10seconds or so and I find both sides tend to relax if thats the word and be themselves - and its like meeting anyone - you can tell in the first few seconds of a call/e-mail if someone is 'real' or a better word compatiable. I think a lot of it is that people will always react well to a human on both sides - a pro-domme is a human being after all with feelings/off days/etc etc - and I get the firm impression that sometimes clients go in with a strange view that the pro-domme is a machine rather than a person. I also think even with the reserve we have with strangers being clear and precise about desired session outlines is vital - so 'ahem' communication again. I tend to agree that a lot (from what I see and hear) seem to think with their penises and of course this is mistake - after all if your after sex then ahem visit a prostitute rather than pro-domme. I think in summary - the secret for want of a better word - is that I respect pro-dommes and communicate with as human beings and regular pro-dommes as my friends and it shows and its reflected back - so no top tips apart from the obvious ones - and of course don't get hung up on the money because its just a distraction (10secs out of 60+mins - do the math !). Finally never get too hung up on session 1's outcome, look at the whole thing, did you enjoy the experience even it wasn't perfect, did she approach the session with interest, consider if there is potential for better and greater things next time, did the pro-domme respect you as a person outside the play, DID YOU HAVE FUN ? anyway not an expert by any means and it seems to work for me - and lets face it playing sooty requires a sense of humour on both sides. hope this helps ! | ||
| 19 May 08, 8:14 AM MistressSBlack UK(LE), 7 yrs £  |
Communication, rapport and being a caring domme,I find is paramount to a successful session.
But these are not guidelines.
What is one mans heaven is another mans poison.
The chemistry does have to be there if only a little.
What one sub may consider a fabulous sesson another may feel a little dissapointed.
I have found on many ocassions that a potential new sub has his/her own fantasy that they have been playing round in their head for possibly weeks,months or years.
Their imagination and fantasy does not always play out how they have played it in their thoughts.
So it is a difficult question to answer and there are many factors to be taken into consideration before "rating" a mistress.
Listening is different to hearing...
Bdsm is an art, therefore i am an artist and you my dear slave are my canvas | ||
| 19 May 08, 7:43 PM Powder_Hound UK(BL), 3 yrs |
Just a couple of thoughts ... Does she advertise in a magazine where it costs money to place an ad ? Has she been advertising for several years ? When she actually does sessions, I have been visiting the same remarkable lady for nearly 5 years. | ||
| 24 May 08, 6:49 PM Godwin UK, 8 yrs |
One in the Huddersfield area would certainly get a positive review Only once did I feel it was a waste of time and money. That was a different person and my first time. I learned to be open and be a 'normal' person before and after a session. Be honest about everything, including injuries that may hinder.
Yes that lady from Huddersfield way was fabtastic Very positive experience(s) God's gift - but don't expect it instantly. | ||
| 9 Jun 08, 4:41 PM djin_bleu UK(NW), 4 yrs   |
I think you are right here, inevitably the majority of 'punters' or rather clients if you prefer will infact think with their 'dick' and i guess that is one of the whole reasons for a service that operate upon sexual desires of fantasies, if we weren't sexual then there would be no point. Where there is money there will be someone to exploit it unfortunately no if's of buts! It's always been trial and error for the majority of subs, don't get me wrong there are alot of success stories out there but i think finding a Professional Dominatrix who has enough time for ones urges is one large problem for many subs therefore many just go for the next best thing which is highly understandable. I think having a good selection process is a great start to appearing very Professional, taking away the threat of the bill at the end is paramount as this is a massive obstacle for many would-be clients, it's a repeat business after all and so what you will reap with multiple appointments far outweighs the large one off payment. I must admit in todays world yes there may be scammers and con-dommes with little or no experience whatsoever but with that there are those who gain from their sloppiness, people on the scene, well-known for their skills and manner, in short they enjoy what they do and take pride in their craft. Pro Dommes are a necessity make no mistake though they need to make perfectly clear to prosepctive clients that the decision to book them shouldn't be taken lightly, if the client isn't sure what they want perhaps they need a little taster before a proper session. Just a thought.
*She who rides the Demon is afraid to dismount*
~* A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead *~
~** NO i'm not O ~fucking~ K!! **~ | ||
| 9 Jun 08, 5:57 PM Ms_Tytania 6 yrs |
No, I never said that, becaue i don't beleive it. I only said that it's been argued on these boards (and if I remember well, you have mentioned it many times), that people think that men always and inevitably choose with their dicks. Some men do, others don't. Probably not even the majority do. My personal opinion, though. Cultivate your inner whore | ||
| 9 Jun 08, 6:05 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 6 yrs £ |
I think this statement is a bit of a fallacy too. I tend to take each "experience" as it comes. Some people session once with a Mistress so that emotional attachment doesn't occur - it doesn't mean that they didn't thoroughly enjoy the session and will maybe come back again in two years time! Some men are just tarts and like to experience as many different styles as possible. Some find that they can grow in a more exclusive relationship - there are instances of pro Mistresses collaring their clients for example. I think it's a little odd to suggest that Mistresses "try hard" or make a good session just to make sure people come back for business reasons - in my knowledge of the scene and the amount of business I could get if I were only in it for the money, that wouldn't be needed. Of course it's always nice to build a bit more of a relationship with someone but, as I say, I take all experiences as they come - some of my most intense and amazing sessions have been with someone I've only just met. It's one of the reasons I love doing it so much!
|
