This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 27 Apr 08, 2:16 PM daitchen UK(SE), 9 yrs |
Yes, nicely put! This makes club play seem less and less appealing to me, too. One club that has tried to address this is Hades - with their "D/s room". The idea was, that D/s protocol (however you interpret that) should always apply there, and that only those engaged in D/s interaction should be in the space - although onlookers were allowed to watch from the margins, which I'm not sure was such a good idea.
Edited 27 Apr 08, 4:14 PM by daitchen | ||
| 27 Apr 08, 6:37 PM MissLioness UK(LS), 5 yrs   |
mmmmm I know what you mean, but I do find even when I am slightly sensitive there are other things we can do, there are also times, when I need more physically to give me back my sense of balance in life mentally, simply because I carry so much on my own shoulders that belongs to others, its just my way of de - cluttering. I know this will be soon too lol There are so many things and different ways to do things no matter what your situation is. hugsx GG
life saw i needed a true playmate one that compliments me and life brought to me *GoldMane* | ||
| 27 Apr 08, 7:35 PM De_Luxe UK, 5 yrs |
The mental impacts of D/s cut both ways. It affects Dominants as well as subs. I think it is very difficult to verbalise. | ||
| 28 Apr 08, 12:22 AM TheKey UK(N), 4 yrs |
I haven't ever found club play lacking in the mental side before - for me anyway. Looking around at others sometimes it's a bit depressing though. | ||
| 28 Apr 08, 9:53 PM Mistress_Avralivia UK(RG), 4 yrs £ |
Perhaps a lot of the psychological element in play at clubs just isnt visible? It's definately not as obvious that someones mind is being pushed and played with as if they are getting flogged.. Now I have nothing against flogging per se, but watching people get flogged pretty much leaves me completely cold, and sometimes it seems so soul-less. When it's obvious that someone is getting under their skin and into their head while they flog/play, now thats a little more interesting. I don't think I would miss going to clubs if I stopped, i dont think i'd miss flogging if I never did it again. What I would miss would be the razor edged, silken web of control master is gradually enticing and pulling me into. The way that my mind is his completely to mould shape and encourage to be the me that he saw within me, the me that's hidden under the mask i put up to hide myself.
"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." | ||
| 23 Jan 09, 4:22 PM foot7lave UK(L), 4 yrs |
As a sub I loved being psychologically dominated by my previous Mistress. It made me feel as if I completely belonged to my Mistress. For example, my last relationship was based on power exchange with an absolutely gorgeous nurse, Miss G. One of my functions was to serve the evening meal. On some occasions, when I brought the meal to her, she would lift her lift feet off the ground, and without having to tell me I would crawl under her feet, so that she could rest them on my back. The moment she placed her feet on my back I not only felt this incredible elation but also great contentment, you could say a great sense of belonging. We each knew precisely what our roles were in the relationship.
I also used to get great inner satisfaction from doing simple things for her like brushing her hair, making sure that all her clothes were well ironed, that her shoes were clean, etc. It was our way of saying that we had this bond of belonging to each other, and that no-one or nothing could break that bond. In some respects this psychological domination was more emotionally satisfying than the physical domination which we also practized!!! Always be POLITE, so that people know that you've been brought up well!!! | ||
| 23 Jan 09, 4:50 PM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs |
To me D/s is all about the psychology the physical acts are meaningless without the context. Also I dont think D/s needs to have any involvement with BDSM they are activities. Its like the assumption that Dominants will want to inflict pain, there are other forms of 'punishment' that dont require pain. Also being submissive doesnt mean you like pain, I am a bit of a sadist myself but that doesnt prevent me from being a submissive. There variations within this 'world' in terms of what people are after for many the BDSM stuff is so integral for others not. Nowt wrong with that. Dont fight for my rights, ill do it myself. | ||
| 23 Jan 09, 5:05 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I agree.
I don't feel submissive just in response to a physical act. I need someone to have made me feel submissive to him by what is said, the relationship as a whole and only when the mental side is there does the physical work at all. Although I wouldn't want a relationship without any of the physical aspects.
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| 23 Jan 09, 6:03 PM Sirs_Froglet UK(S), 3 yrs |
This totally made sense to me. Sometimes, it's the little things that matter most. And the hair thing... mmm... Makes me melt and reminds me I'm his  | ||
| 23 Jan 09, 6:25 PM simply_submissive UK(SG), 3 yrs |
As much as i adore the physical side of an M/s relationship, preferring to take the TPE and IE route; it is the psychological aspects i just cannot live without, those reminders, however subtle that keep my mindset in the place it needs to be, the reminders of being owned...the hand in the hair, the gentle tug on the collar, the daily rules and guidelines, a kiss to the forehead whilst being knelt before the One i surrender to, it is those kinds of things that feed my hunger to serve. Being a masochist i thrive on the pain and physical side, but if i was ever faced with the choice of psychological or physical and i ultimately HAD to choose one, it would be the psychological...i need the control aspect to much!! ~*~*Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed*~*~ ~*~*i'm not spoilt...i'm just well taken care of*~*~ ~*~*From my knees everything i need is within reach*~*~ |
