Qualities of a Dominant Partner (27)

Raegan's profile

Replies

10 Apr 08, 9:24 AM
funkylime
2 yrs
Hi Raegan,
Obviously you are very grounded and responsible to even tackle these deep personal development issues for the benefit of your D/s relationship. Obviously you're fun and creative in your tastes in rope work, you've got the kink or you wouldn't be here, and you've got that crazy streak of the adventurous by taking on this challenge of dominating a man 4 years older at your age of 23. You're crazy and confident enough to go in the deep end. You want to be even better. You're a great person to make a great Domme.
You're doing great. Such a broad spectrum of issues you raise. I'd like to just mention one. You're under no obligation or responsibility to make this work, you don't need this man's submission. He needs to understand that. The very first aim has to be to make this relationship rewarding for you. He has to earn your dominion and attention to all this just as much (or more) as you have to earn his submission. If it's not rewarding, when it is frustrating, quit for a bit, treat yourself to a vanilla respite, withdraw this dominion he craves, let him know you're not drawing the pleasure and enjoyment you'd expect from it. Let thim know you will seek your pleasure with him when, where and how you see fit.
It's very noble and humble of you to look at what you can change in yourself first. Surely these are great qualities for a Dominant. There is no reason to think though that most of the change, or change in the first instance is due from you.
good luck, funky

12 Apr 08, 5:46 PM
DDDDom
3 yrs Just keep working at it - great weblog.
Love is an angel disguised as lust,
here in our bed until the morning comes...
Patti Smith

12 Apr 08, 6:10 PM
Scribbles
UK(RH), 16 mths
Blime, what you going to be writing when you're 50?
Great blog. I have nothing useful to add except to emphasise that all sorts of spheres are likely to be useful sources of ideas - spiritual, philosophical, biographical, psychological etc. Not to mention the rewards of creative endeavours such as writing, both alone and together. Also travel together; perhaps some dangerous or adventurous undertaking; and the benefits of keeping a diary.

13 Apr 08, 5:45 PM
Velvet_Kisses
3 yrs What an insightful and refreshing post, it was a pleasure to read it.
I thought deep and hard about my own needs as a submissive and wrote a post some time ago expressing those needs as I saw them. I have included the link here.
I do hope in reading this it might help you understand some of the key qualities that I believe can help to make a good Dominant partner.
I do wish you both the very best of luck and send my warm wishes for a happy future together.
xVx
"Tick tock, tick tock. Come and get me while I'm hot."

28 Apr 08, 7:09 AM
Imperius
UK(AL), 10 mths
But isn't letting yourself be defined by a post from a group of submissive women very much being topped from the bottom?
You post a list of ideal virtues that are the cumulative romantic fantasy of a group of women- I suspect by attempting to adhere to this you are setting yourself an impossible task and a making a stick to be beaten by.
Edited 28 Apr 08, 7:12 AM by Imperius

8 May 08, 12:51 AM
McGrath
UK, 2 yrs

Here is how I see the Dominant's role, and it's what I aspire to. Just replace "Man" and "Master" with "Woman" and "Mistress" Your blog says very clearly where you are heading. Good luck
What Sort of Man ... A Man who displays sensitivity will be a Master who is sensitive to you A Man who displays humility will be a Master who will show you respect A Man who is not afraid to cry will be a Master who understands your tears A Man who is quiet will be a Master who will hear your quietest whisper A Man who knows fear will be a Master who will not leave you to face yours alone A Man who will listen to a child will be a Master who will always work to understand your words A Man who can stand alone will be a Master who will not crush you under His weight A Man who controls Himself with ease will be a Master with the ability to control you in the same way A Man who does not have to prove His point will be a Master with many worthwhile points to share A Man who never makes demands will be a Master who treasures anything you give A Man who doesn't run after you will be a Master you will never need to run away from A Man who is calm will be a Master who can weather your storms A Man who has walked the path to peace will be a Master able to guide you along that path A Man who does not shout will be a Master who will never deafen you A Man who knows Himself will be a Master who will have time to know you A Man with an open mind will be a Master who never stops learning A Man who never stops learning will be a Master who never stops growing A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

McGrathWhat Sort of Man ... A Man who displays sensitivity will be a Master who is sensitive to you A Man who displays humility will be a Master who will show you respect A Man who is not afraid to cry will be a Master who understands your tears A Man who is quiet will be a Master who will hear your quietest

3 Aug 08, 8:06 AM
martindevon
UK, 5 mths
I read this with great interest. As you will see from my profile, I am not expereinced in this lifestyle (yet!) but I have mentored people in other situations. I would be happy to chat with you. Bye for now, Tim


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