Dom/sub/switch (3)

Taurean1's profile

Taurean1
Posted by Taurean1 on Sat 22 Mar 08, 10:48 PM

Some people are naturally more dominant than others, and some people are naturally more submissive than others in the BDSM context. Its the same in everyday life, I think we all meet people that are more dominant or submissive just by their personality and their nature. What i'm trying to say is that although we call ourselves either dom/sub/switch or other, we don't really know what position we would take with a new partner or play partner.

For instance, a man could be dominant over one women, and could find he is submissive to another women even if he does not want it that way.

I have written this weblog because this is how it works for myself, for me it all depends on the strength of a persons personality and their nature.

I would be interested in peoples views on this subject.

Replies

22 Mar 08, 11:20 PM
CarolinaMoon
IE, 21 mths

Makes sense to me...I started off as submissive and discovered that I actually feel dominant toward most men. I have come to the conclusion that it is about the dynamic a lot of the time, the connection, the person you are and who they are.
There are some men that I have the urge to control, hurt, own etc and a very rare few that I feel submissive to.
Just go with the flow, don't worry about labels, enjoy meeting and getting to know the people you come across.

22 Mar 08, 11:25 PM
kisses_for_me
UK(IP), 2 yrs
Y!
Nope, submissive just aint in me. Tried and its just not for me. As for "but if the right woman came along", well that arguement fails too, simply because a woman trying (or even suceeding) to be dominant is a complete turn off for me, whereas just about any other woman I can see some attraction in.
Before anyone shouts "in denial" I tried eating that cake and it just doesnt work.
It's easy to tell the difference between right and wrong. What's hard is choosing the wrong that's more right.
I tend to be suspicious of all true believers. Present company included.
Elise Kraft, The Siege.

24 Mar 08, 6:01 PM
alexandraa
UK(NW), 5 yrs
I think it's very complex in some ways very simple in others. In our everyday interactions with people we have to adapt our behaviour according to circumstance and situation. That can m ean we constantly switch between submissive and dominant behaviour. Because I am a senior manager, I am generally dominant at work, I have to be that's what I'm paid to do, to take decisions, provide leadership, support, mentoring, guidelines and if necessary discipline. I also have to behave submissively to certain people to oil the wheels of working effectively. All that however is very different to intimate sexual and emotional relationships.
I find it easier to work out in my head where I am more comfortable in an intimate relationship by simply thinking of my fantasies. Not the daft ones where someone has annoyed me and I think I couldn't half take a cane to them the bastard. But the more serious "intimate" ones. The ones where I get the most sexual connection. Those fantasies are all around submisson to a man, control by that man, leadership, caring and protection provided by that man.
Now and again I have smallish fantasies around dominating women and less often about dominating men.
My real drivers my mind and body tell me are indeed submission to a man. That's where my key sexual connections are and where I feel happiest.
Put all taboos to one side and just listen honestly and openly to what your own mind and body are telling you, then explore...

Be careful what you wish for


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