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| TheFalconer |
on Tue 11 Mar 08, 7:21 PM to TheFalconer's blog.
In my experience, "punishment" as a concept in BDSM is something which has rather blurred edges. When I first started exploring all this it was very much in the context of bedroom games, and therefore punishment only really featured on the level of "you've been a bad girl, go to my room!". Spurious infractions would be invented and dealt with.
Now, several years down the line, I find myself as the Dominant partner in a 24/7 D/s relationship, and punishment naturally means something different. But that playfulness is still there too, sometimes - like I said, blurred edges. For us the difference is signified in two ways - firstly there are some punishments which would never be used in a play scene (these being loss of privileges type things, generally), and secondly of course, my whole approach to a serious punishment is naturally somewhat different. In principle I think I could do the same scene two days in a row and have taintedinnocence enjoy it one day and hate it the next, purely by making the second run through framed as being a formal punishment. In practise of course when punishing her with a physical beating I hit hit harder and sharper and provide less warm-up, just to make sure there's no chance of her "accidentally" enjoying it.
Punishment certainly isn't a big part of our dynamic. Most of the time she does a pretty good job of living within the rules that she agreed to when she accepted my collar. Mistakes are generally small and rapidly corrected.
From time to time though, she has a tendency to start pushing at her walls, to make sure they're still there. It's a fairly common submissive behaviour, by all accounts - I've seen plenty of other subs and Doms writing about similar things here and elsewhere. It's something that I feel I need to get better at catching before it boils over, so I can pull her back in to line before she gets herself in to too much trouble.
This, then, is where she finds herself right now. She started last week badly, accidentally turning in her diary late and incomplete. By mid-week though we had (as she put it herself) a "worm in an envelope" moment, when she orgasmed without permission. Which may not sound like a big issue to many people, but given that she's been on permanent orgasm control for about a year now, it's a big deal to us.
So then - punishment. She's already mentioned herself yesterday about how she's had some of her privileges revoked for the next week. This blog will doubtless add a level of humiliation for her on top of that. The third part of her punishment though, will have to wait until the weekend when I'm up in Sheffield. She's been told what to expect and since we've already been through denial ("You're not really going to do -that-?") and bargaining, I think we're on track for acceptance by the time the punishment is administered.
I do love her, of course. In fact, I'd say that it's because I love her that I am punishing her.
Edited Wed 12 Mar 08, 10:42 PM by TheFalconer
