This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 8 Mar 08, 9:16 PM Makeyoubleed UK, 6 yrs   |
Communication is absolutely vital for anyone new to the scene. You are effectively nurturing and guiding them so a gentle and gradual introduction is far better for someone new as they can then explore each new experience in comfort, trust and above all enjoyment. It is really a delight to see someone new try something out for the very first time and come away from the experience exhilarated by it all. In main due to having taken time to go through with them every aspect and giving them something wonderful that is for THEIR benefit and not your own. Of course it IS in your benefit too as they will return for more and together you can then explore the introduction of greater depth to your itinerary. | |
| 8 Mar 08, 9:19 PM Scribbles UK(RH), 4 yrs |
It depends what sort of newby. I'm new - I've done very little. But I've spent a lot of time reading and thinking, getting my head around things. By the time I'm in a position to Do much, I'd rather cast myself adrift on it all, not just be shown some tools and given a quick demo. Edited 8 Mar 08, 9:44 PM by Scribbles | |
| 8 Mar 08, 9:28 PM Skylon UK(BS), 8 yrs |
If I was talking to someone in a totally vanilla environment then, on a first meeting I'd go through an explanation of the kind of things I'm interested in.
Then I'd 'interview' the person to see what they thought they wanted, what they expected and what their current situation was. Medical, psychological and sexual status, emotional history. That kind of jazz.
Then I'd tell them to go away and think about things for a while. Cos I'm not in any rush me. If they come back after that then I'd introduce them to some of the experiences they haven't had before and see how they reacted. ------------------- [-_-] Ohmmmmmmmm | |
| 8 Mar 08, 9:30 PM LacednLicked UK(WA), 4 yrs |
Having played with newbies in the past I would say communication is even more important than normal (and its normally very important lol). Its not just about gauging their tolerance levels but also their understanding of how a scene can go, what their feelings may be and also lowering their expectations. I have always found they need to be lowered because often they have this big old fantasy worked out in their heads and just as vanilla sex isn't normally perfect first time, neither is bdsm. Saying that, my boy was a novice when he first came to me and he has been well worth the time taken to break in slowly. | |
| 9 Mar 08, 12:02 AM bloodlineS UK(SK), 8 yrs |
Are we talking inches? | |
| 9 Mar 08, 3:43 AM Mistress_Avralivia UK(RG), 4 yrs £ |
Thanks for all your replies people  (especially some of the really good ones  )To be honest it just reiterated what I already thought and planned to do, but theres no harm in getting others opinions :D "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." | |
| 10 Mar 08, 4:30 AM titchfield UK(CF), 6 yrs |
I'd go as far as she felt like taking it, I could always use my safeword if it went too far  | |
| 10 Mar 08, 6:44 AM djin_bleu UK(NW), 5 yrs  |
Until they were in such a state where i'd be visiting them in the asylum for the next 3 months?...... **She who rides the Demon is afraid to dismount** | |
| 10 Mar 08, 7:45 AM Lady_Katt 5 yrs |
playing with newbie subs and introducing them to the scene is what i do best - but you really have to have your wits about you and it is both a mental physical and emotional drain on you to remember everything and keep their safety and nerves at a consisitant level yet also not disappoint them - by reading body language etc.. i have an advantage as i use a empathic connnection to be able to know what they are thinking and feeling before it is voiced, so it is an advantage which has stood me in good stead, and this is why i do it - because i can and am asked! With trust the right session can be gained and maintained but until you have that trust you are more likely to do more harm than good, trust your instincts too, and you cant go far wrong..
With most newbies - the time they fear most is the wait beforehand - with any newbie tho i would recommend another person nearby incase anything goes wrong .. health wise or physical wise - and it not just the safety of the subs which has to be taken into consideration .. like any play session think first and play safe, but above all remember this is/can be a fun time too katt x http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/boards/ukevents... | |
| 10 Mar 08, 8:01 AM TooKind UK(SA), 8 yrs |
We love playing with those that are new to the scene!
There is something special about being the first to explore that persons feelings, limits, reactions, etc. Nice to set them off down the road to BDSM! Christina and John How right it feels, to do a little wrong! |
