Posted by melody_A
on Sat 6 Nov 04, 2:22 PM to melody_A's blog.
Trying to study but my mind keeps wandering..
My sister is in hospital, she has mental health issues. She's 25 but never really grown up, never really got over the fact dad died when she was just 10 – never really forgiven him I suppose. She could be a lovely person, only she's not – she is so totally wrapped up in her own misery that she fails to see the good things in life, fails to take responsibility. She's angry at the world, and I think she feels it's let her down, she's jealous of everyone and everything – she feels worthless.
I sound like a cold-hearted bitch. I do love her, I really do; but sometimes I don't like her very much – I feel angry with her for what she puts our mother through. She needs to realise she must take responsibility of her own happiness – yes life is hard, that's the first lesson isn't it? When you accept that it all becomes easier.
Today I've heard an aunt has died, I've not seen her for a couple of years and passed up on the opportunity to see her in the summer – now I feel like shit. She wasn't dying, it was very unexpected, but still.... I could have gone.
I have so much to do today – just can't get myself started. I'm so tired.
Mel
