Theory: Why Dommes are scarce. (93)

I'm guessing you did the whole 'Public Speaking' and 'declamation' competition thing at school / uni.

Or you're an MP (Nah, you can't be an MP, you actually had something interesting to say).

Saint Severin, the benchmark by which purity, holiness & normality are measured.
Your Pontiff elect has spoken. Now go about your business. Bless you.
DIY Pope~Pope Chart~Be Pope

It is indeed! Because according to too much "theory" and "research", we are only a figment of the imagination of sub and masochist males. We don't exist. And if we do, it's because we've been brainwashed into becoming a living sexual fantasy for the boys. Autonomous sexual being and female? Those thinking heads can't get theirs round that concept yet... and many of those who write, lecture and ponder, are women too. Oh, well...

Cultivate your inner whore

Edited 22 Feb 08, 11:02 AM by Ms_Tytania

sort of right and sort of wrong.

I'm not telling cos it's more mysterious....

De

(honest, imagine I'm like, super glamorous and exciting, it's more fun ... in reality I am just a waffle-pants ;-D )

Roses are red, bruises are blue, masochists are sweet, and I love you.

You see now my comments are just going to degenerate (you see what i did there) into something about your pants.

Oh - or Waffles

Saint Severin, the benchmark by which purity, holiness & normality are measured.
Your Pontiff elect has spoken. Now go about your business. Bless you.
DIY Pope~Pope Chart~Be Pope

-some women don't feel comfortable dressing sexy out of their home

-some women can't be bothered to squeeze into latex every time they want to go out

-some women don't feel sexy in the seemingly requisite fetish clothes

For example, there are Top women I know who prefer jeans and a tank- that makes them feel hot. That won't fly at a fetish gig, so they don't go (or they play at gay male oriented places)

It can also be the attitude of male submissives. I find a lot of male submissives are more interested in me acting out their fantasy for free than being submissive to me. That's fine, but I think if you're expecting me to put a lot of work into playing out your fantasy without a lot of my input, then you should pay me like a pro.

I'm getting into my Domme groove myself. I don't advertise that fact much because I prefer playing with women and most of the attention one gets is male, and since I find more people are willing to try being submissive in some capacity, I can just date and work out the kinky details later.

I don't go to clubs because I can't afford to have a fetish wardrobe, I can't be bothered to go to a fetish club I can't have sex at, and I'm nervous about being criticized by people about my method of play. Yup- while I've taken the classes, and can do it safely, most people can swing a flogger better than I can. While at home what matters is the sensation and the fun we're having, I'm afraid that going out to scene tends to invite people to tell you how you're doing it wrong (not unsafely, that I understand- but if you're playing for sensation and not for performance value, I'll tie someone up the fastest, if not fanciest, way). So part of it comes down to comfort- I don't really feel super comfortable in fetish gear. And part of it comes down to fear of judgment. Most of it is just I can't be bothered. I'm sure someone else must feel the same, so that probably cuts down on people saying they're Domme.

And I also agree with what others have said about being willing to play with a sub but not have sex with them- I think that's perfectly valid. Most of the submissives who have contacted me on alt, for example, want anal play. I have no interest forming a relationship with a sub based on anal play. Pony play, maybe.

Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.

Edited 22 Feb 08, 11:09 AM by Purrverse

My primary partner and I don't always have sex- in fact, we're pretty platonic at the moment. But then, we're together because we make good partners, if not always good lovers- that's why we have an open relationship.

Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.

Wii's are like buses you wait months for one and then two come along.

Personally I really love their company, so long as they accept me as an equal, as I accept them for what they are. Of equal standing, but a different gender. As most do.

Of course, if they come the 'I'm a haughty domme, kneel at my feet!' line, then I call their bluff and ignore them, but most experienced domme women are fun people to be around.

Academy Incorporated: turning fantasy into reality Miss Prim's Muir Academy, Muir Academy For Maids, The Academy Club and The Tawsingham Society: fast friendly, helpful, discreet service, with integrity www.tawse.com www.muir-academy.com guy@tawse.com PO Box 135, Hereford, HR2 7WL, UK +44(0)143

They actually have to look after another human being and many women don't have time for it. Work, family, kids etc...

But depends what believe a dominate woman is. Just a fantasy of a large lady holding a whip or actually a real woman who wants more than a fantasy.

Give me room to breathe.

The reason it's such a popular myth is that many people do end up in happy, kinky relationships with people they've met in vanilla contexts. The thing is, most of those people weren't vanilla to start with. A lot will have had kinky fantasies but never tried to act them out; and nearly all the rest will at least have experimented with fetish or kink at some point, even if they've never heard the term "BDSM" or thought of going to a fetish or BDSM club. If you go out looking for kinky people on "the scene" or on sites like IC, you are only going to be looking through a tiny fraction of the kinky people in the country.

Here's a rough back-of-an-envelope number: there's probably over 250,000 women in the country who would like to be dominant in the bedroom and would be willing to do something about that if they got the chance. Probably at least double or quadruple that, in fact. Your problem, if you're a male sub, is spotting them; they are, after all, all normal ordinary people.

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